Rear facing a friends child

ninejr · May 1, 2012

I will have a friends child on Thursday. He is 28 months and the same size as B. I told the mom he can use B's spare seat and she doesn't need to worry about leaving one for him. I know he is forward facing and has been since before he turned one because a fireman told her he was too long and his legs would be crushed. She will not turn him back around (i know this from previous conversations). Anyway, do I specifically tell her he will be rear facing in my car or just leave it at what I have said (he can use B's spare seat). I don't think she will ask if I don't bring it up specifically.

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kam1011 · May 1, 2012

Leave it - it's implied in "he can use B's seat" - she should assume you're not going to flip it for the day.

caritas · May 1, 2012

I think it depends on the mom. I know a lot of people who would really care.

However, my best friend who has pretty much the only kid I ever watch, doesn't care. She already has him in an expired seat, FF since barely 1, despite under 20lbs, and doesn't really care what I say about car seat stuff. So I do my thing, and she does hers.

When he's here, she knows she doesn't need to uninstall a seat and leave it here but that I'll deal with it and use one of mine. And she knows I always have him RFing and doesn't ever object! He's a bit over 2.5 and about 28lbs and has always been a peanut. It's pretty cute, and I always send her a pic of the three boys (my two boys) all RFing in the back of my car.

It's probably implied, like the above PP said... if you mentioned whose seat he would use and she knows that kiddo's seat is RFing.

babyherder · May 1, 2012

If she thinks rf her kiddo is dangerous than I would let her know that you will rf him. I would offer info that proves rf is safe. And I wouldn't transport if you and her cannot agree on how (I'm not sure I could ff a kid that age). But if you know she doesn't want him rf and you rf him anyway that doesn't seem right. Its her kid.

bubbaray · May 1, 2012

I personally would not RF a 28mo that I knew was FFg without the parents prior permission. It is the parents choice IMO. If you are adamant the parent has the right to not have you look after the child.

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jjordan · May 1, 2012

If you told her you'd use B's seat and she knows that B is rear facing, then I'd do it without worry, assuming that she has figured out it will be rear facing. Although I guess it wouldn't hurt to double-check with her.

hrice · May 1, 2012

I would RF. She didn't ask you to FF him. If she specifically requested FF or asked about it and you misled her that is a different story.

Any kid under 3 that fits RFs in my vehicle. I am just too uncomfortable with a little one FF in my car.

HaileysMommy · May 1, 2012

My car. My rules. If you don't want to follow my rules in the car then I won't be hauling your kid. I wouldn't worry about telling her specifically that you'll be RFing him. I could see if it was opposite and he normally RF and you would be FF though.

Phineasmama · May 1, 2012

I wouldn't mention it because you're making her child safer, it's your car and she is asking you to watch him

canadiangie · May 1, 2012

It wouldn't occur to me to ask.

moonmommy · May 2, 2012

If it was important to her that you FF her child, I would assume she would specifically state that. Even if I were to have another CPST transport my child, I would make sure that they RF my child because it is very important to me. If she knows you are a CPST, knows your stance on ERF, and said it was okay to use B's seat, I think she is trusting your judgement to transport her child in the safest manner possible. All of my friends know that I will transport their child in the safest manner I can with what I have available, and that may mean that their child goes back a step or 2 while in my vehicle.

Kat_Momof3 · May 2, 2012

the my rules my car can work against you... think about it.

I would ask her if it was okay, or I would plan to forward face him.

Would I be willing to transport a child who was not within the proper limits for a seat? of course not. Would I go against the law? no. This isn't the case here.

BUT, you mentioned what seat could be used... and she clearly trusts you to transport her child. If she consents to using the seat and doesn't ask which direction it will be facing, then so be it.

gsdguenter · May 2, 2012

My car, my rules. If you fit in a rfing seat I have installed then you sit in one, regardless of age or how you ride in your own car.

I think all of DD1's friends ride in boosters in their cars. When with me they rf or depending on if I need 3 across the oldest/heaviest kid goes in the RSTV and other 2 go rf.

I've never had a parent or kid complain, but they all know I'm vocal about car seats and am a CPST.

emandbri · May 2, 2012

I would just put him rear-facing.

gsdguenter · May 2, 2012

Although . . . I would never let my kids ride in someone else's car who I haven't already explained MY seat rules to. So if LOs want to ride in someone else's car then I need to install one of our seats and trust that it will be used correctly, how I want. If I can't trust that will be the case then they won't ride in that person's car.

I have the luxury of being able to do this though since I have a plethora or extra seats and don't need to car pool with anyone. If I had to rely on others to transport I'm sure I'd have to make concessions.

Ninetales · May 2, 2012

When my kid goes FF it will be because she's passed 40 lbs, so if she were to ride with someone who happened to have a 45 lb limit seat I wouldn't care if they RF her. Provided I trust them to install properly. Probably a moot point because I can't think of anyone who would be driving her who would have such a seat.

Baylor · May 2, 2012

If this child was 1 I would state that the child will be rear facing in my car PERIOD. At 28 mos I would tell the mother that I plan to transport child rfing and let her make the decision.

I would not push it or argue about it.

auto correct hates me

bubbaray · May 2, 2012

So for those that abide by the "my car, my rules" theory, then logically you would be OK if someone transported your child FFg in their car even tho that child was RFg in your car? This is the issue in the daycare thread that is running.

You can't have it both ways. Either it is your ultimate decision as the parent OR it is the drivers call.

carseatcoach · May 2, 2012

Well, I think both the parent and the driver have veto rights. I would refuse to let my child ride without a booster, but would respect another driver's right to say "no boosters in my car" (I would probably think it's stupid and selfish, but her car, so her right).

And similarly, I would respect a parent's right to say that her 4'5" child will not ride in a booster. It's then my right to say "sorry, I won't be able to drive her then".

In a daycare situation (I don't know what thread is being referenced), I would conclude that an inability to reach agreement meant that it was not a good match.

laurengt · May 2, 2012

I wouldn't say anything more about it. If she mentions it and maintains that she wants her child FF, at 28 months I would be tempted not to make an issue of it -- but you know her better than any of us.

But then again, it's your car and your rules. I she doesn't want to abide by your car rules then she can find someone else to care for her child.

If a child fits RF in my car the they RF. I've yet to have anyone take issue with this.

Rear facing a friends child

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