DS2 told me he's embarrassed to be in a booster.

zactayaus

Well-known member
So tonight when I was picking Austin up from baseball practice (he just turned 9yo yesterday) I had all the windows rolled half way down in my truck. When I walked over to get him he came up to me and said "mom, can you please go roll my window up". I was confused and asked him why. He quietly told me that he didn't want anyone to know he was still in a booster.:( We have very dark tinted windows so with them up it's very hard to see inside. Then he asked me when he could stop using one. I told him it would be a very long time yet as he is no where near 4'9" or 5-stepping in either one of our vehicles. I understand how he feels and it makes me sad for him but I have to do what is right for his safety. I told him we would try going backless again (didn't work out to well last time cause every time he fell asleep he would fall out of the seat belt) and he felt a little better. It's so hard when just about every single one of his friends isn't in a booster any more and then kids can be so mean and tease the ones that are still in them.:(
 
ADS

babyherder

Well-known member
At least he feels like he can be honest with you and you will take his opinion into account. Good for you for insisting he stay safe. Maybe he can at least go backless for stuff where his friends are around and then have the back on at other times?
 

An Aurora

Senior Community Member
Oh man, that's a tough one. :(

I did a seat check the other day for a 12 year old in a Vivo and she was soooo embarrassed. Luckily it worked out to where her brother could go into it and she could move to a backless.
 

kater-tot82

New member
I am right there with you with my 9yo who is also petite. She just turned 9 last month and keeps asking when she can get out of her booster. I got her a Harmony Cruz to swap out for her HB Monterey but I haven't done it yet...just no time. She hasn't asked me to keep the windows up or not let other kids see it, but I know she's getting more self conscious about it. I won't compromise her safety, but I can understand why she feels the way she does. Most kids here are done with boosters on their 8th birthday, if parents use them that long. I am.hoping the switch to backless helps...
 

Carrie_R

Ambassador - CPS Technician
Hugs Mama, I have totally BTDT. I agree with going backless, maybe you can even try backless for "peer-visible" rides and a HBB for when there aren't kids around and he's likely to sleep.
 

zactayaus

Well-known member
At least he feels like he can be honest with you and you will take his opinion into account. Good for you for insisting he stay safe. Maybe he can at least go backless for stuff where his friends are around and then have the back on at other times?

Hugs Mama, I have totally BTDT. I agree with going backless, maybe you can even try backless for "peer-visible" rides and a HBB for when there aren't kids around and he's likely to sleep.

Yes, this is what I'm planning to do. Backless around town and to school and sporting events and then high back when we go on longer out of town trips where he's more likely to fall asleep.
 

PikkuMyy

New member
That's a tough one and I dread that day with my own son. :( My son is only 5 so I haven't crossed that bridge with him yet. He's harnessed except for carpooling (HBB for that).

However, I carpool and I put the (average size, I think) 8 year old girl in a Literider. She seemed absolutely mortified the first time I made her sit in it; although she did comment that it was actually kind of comfortable. I recently moved it to the other side of my son's Nautilus so it wouldn't be visible from the sidewalk. I have her climb in from the sidewalk side to the driver's side of the back seat, then my son climbs in the middle and the 12 year old sister goes on the passenger side (back seat, no booster). I haven't mentioned the booster again and she just climbs in and buckles up now. I'm pretty sure she's been out of a booster since she was like 4, if not younger. Her parents were always horrible about car seat safety. :( I felt horrible putting her in it but she does not 5 step.
 

hrice

New member
Dustin has asked a couple if times but has never said he is embarrassed. I guess it helps that his bestie is still in a booster. (His mom is a friend of mine and defers to me for car seat stuff)

He will be 11 in November. I know he will Stewart bugging me any day now.
 

Kecia

Admin - CPST Instructor
I've BTDT as well with DS1. He was 11 (at about 4'9" coincidentally) before he could 5-step in the captain's chair of our van. That was the summer between 5th-6th grade. He was mortified too during those years between 4th & 5th grade. It got to the point where he would exit the van at his Little League games from the front passenger door rather than open the slider.

I made it clear that I wasn't trying to torture him but he would use a LBB until the seatbelt fit. But I also told him that I would do whatever he wanted me to do (besides ditching the booster) to help him save face. If he wanted to be dropped off a block away, that was fine with me.

Now he's almost 15 and taller than I am. Those booster memories are distant for him although at the time I'm sure he felt like he was going to be stuck in a booster *forever*. All I can promise is that they'll survive and they won't be scarred for life. However, I believe in respecting their feelings, whether they are justified or not, and doing whatever you can (switching to LBB, leaving the windows rolled up, etc) to help him feel less embarrassed about the situation.

Hugs & good luck!
 

bobandjess99

Senior Community Member
Yes, this is what I'm planning to do. Backless around town and to school and sporting events and then high back when we go on longer out of town trips where he's more likely to fall asleep.

:yeahthatlove:

Dd is only 7, but that's what we do with her. :) Works great.
 

Carrie_R

Ambassador - CPS Technician
However, I believe in respecting their feelings, whether they are justified or not, and doing whatever you can (switching to LBB, leaving the windows rolled up, etc) to help him feel less embarrassed about the situation.

:yeahthat:

I'd even be ok with my kid shoving the booster on the floor before he climbs out, or sitting in a less visible seat. I HATE that we (societally) make kids ashamed of being protected during the most dangerous thing they do.
 

firemomof3

New member
My dd1 has also expressed some concern about why she still needs to be boostered because its really embarrasing :( I explained to her how the booster not only enables her to fit into the seatbelt correctly but it also acts as artificial hips which is very important in the event of an accident. After explaining it to her she understood and it made her feel better. But ya, she'll be 9y/o in July and she won't pass the 5 step test for at least another year.
 

luckyclov

New member
Yes, this is what I'm planning to do. Backless around town and to school and sporting events and then high back when we go on longer out of town trips where he's more likely to fall asleep.
This sounds perfect.:thumbsup:

On the other end of the spectrum, my 9 1/2 year old, who's on the last click in his PWSG, asked me if I'd get him a FR85. I was like, "Dude, no, it's OK to ride in a backless at this point!".:p
 

Baylor

New member
I let my 7 yr old use a backless to school and to baseball both are in my section. If we leave the section he rides in Probooster or GN in hbb mode.

It's tough as they get older but are not quite ready for 5 stepping.

auto correct hates me
 

Kat_Momof3

New member
the good news is he had no qualms telling you exactly what he felt and why.

the bad news is that you are very right... the booster is a safety issue.

I read what you said about why he isn't backless yet, but what about letting him ride backless on shorter trips and attaching the back on trips where he is likely to fall asleep?

you could keep the back in the trunk/storage area of your vehicle for such a purpose.

Ruthie just doesn't fit the belt as well backless in dh's car and since evenflo sent me a securekid 400 instead of a big kid booster, the harmony doesn't work in the van, the probooster doesn't work in dh's car, she just has to stay with a highback. But giving her that shot to try it at least made it absolutely no argument from her when we went back to highbacks in both.

From her projected growth, she won't be 4'9" until age 13, so she's gonna be in a booster for a LONG time. Her brother Jeffrey will probably be using one in dh's car until he's 12 or older, too, because of the seatbelts, so I don't even want to think about it in that car... I may just let her sit in the front in that car when she turns 13 if Damian isn't so tall that the leg room is nonexistent for him in the back (the front seat has a very different seatbelt geometry and seat design and kids 5-step there when they do in the van)

I think I may just have to tell her about her great grandma being so petite and my sister being so petite at those ages and even as adults and explain repeatedly that belt fit and safety trumps social stigma.
 

canadiangie

New member
I wouldn't think twice about going to a backless for everyday use. I'd also get something very discreet... like a harmony backless, or Olli, or something.

My dd thinks my mom's Oto is the bomb because it doesn't look like a booster at all. :rolleyes: She's not even 6!
 

Suzibeck

Active member
Dd3 will be 10 in June. She mostly rides in a backless for the last year because she was embarrassed. She rides in a Parkway when we go on long trips still. I was shocked that she asked me to get her a Frontier to reharness her a couple of weeks ago. Too embarrassed for a high back booster but you want to be harnessed? I have very strange children. And no, I'm not getting her a Frontier.
 

Lys

Senior Community Member
This is why I SO love living in Germany while DS is between 9-12. ALL of the *German* kids here use boosters until 12. There is absolutely no embarrassment.
Even when DS went to an out of town game in the team van, they had extra boosters for the kids that they keep in the van for that purpose.
 

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