WWYD?

livilou

New member
If you knew someone who was practicing unsafe (and illegal) car seat use and you have told them before about it but they choose to ignore it, WWYD?

I know someone who has her ten month old son forward facing and he has been forward facing for about a month. She posted a picture on Facebook which a few people gave her crap for, but she dismissed it saying that he was happier because she could see him in the mirror so he was fine. Talking to her does nothing at all because her way is the right way, period. She has since taken the picture off of Facebook, and I just happened to stroll on past her house and I noticed that the seat is still in there forward facing, not moved at all.

Would you contact someone? Would you just leave it be? I'm really unsure what to do. I've told her and she chooses not to listen and I am not at all comfortable knowing that a child is riding around like that, but at the same time I don't want to put my nose where it doesn't belong, so to speak.

So, sorry about the novel, but what do you think is the right thing to do?
 
ADS

hrice

New member
I would just leave it alone. You tried and that's the best you can do. You can't make people care.

Sent from my iPhone using Car-Seat.Org
 

BabyKaykes

New member
Friends of DHs used to have their 10mth old not only FF, but in a Turbo booster. I offered them a free seat saying how unsafe it was. They declined.

Sometimes all you can do is pray they're never in a serious accident. :(

on my Kindle Fire using the app...I make much more sense IRL...
 

livilou

New member
Makes me sad to think about it, but that's exactly what I thought. Just wanted some other opinions - thanks!
 

equilibrium

New member
Friends of DHs used to have their 10mth old not only FF, but in a Turbo booster. I offered them a free seat saying how unsafe it was. They declined.

Sometimes all you can do is pray they're never in a serious accident. :(

on my Kindle Fire using the app...I make much more sense IRL...


Who the frig does this! I wonder what their reasoning is. Seriously.
 

Lenae

Active member
I don't know about Canada, but in some states in the US where you can report things like this and the person gets a letter in the mail basically saying they need to follow the law.
 

NatesMamma

New member
I just try really hard to make peace with the fact I've given the parent all the necessary information, and s/he chose to ignore it. 9 times out of 10, there's nothing I can do to change what someone does with her own kids.

I've been in your shoes before, almost exactly. I had talked briefly with a friend about ERF. She had a child my DS's age (which was a little less than 2 at the time) and also an infant. She chose not to turn her older child back to RF, and soon after she turned her baby at 10 months. I suppose I could have reported her, but I didn't. However, I refused to transport her children that way, so we never drove together anywhere. Eventually we lost touch. We had pretty much polar opposite views on how to raise our kids, and I guess it was a little frustrating for both of us.
 

Mysweethoneybee

New member
One of my neighbors has her 8 year old son in an evenflo hbb but somehow most of his head is above the back of the seat which is above the back of the vehicle seat. The seat belt guide is below his shoulder so they just put the seatbelt over the booster seat headrest. I even showed her in the manual where it says that is wrong. I offered to give her a Monterey or trade it because she said she didn't want charity. She said she didn't want to take charity even in the trade because my seat was more expensive than hers. I pointed out it could mean he could be injured in an accident. She said she would rather him be injured than to take charity. A friend of mine reminded me that sometimes you just can't worry about other peoples' stupidity.
 

Dmcj13

New member
I asked a police officer about this at work once. He said as long as it was against the state laws to call the local police, and if possible provide licence plate number and dress, and they will go to their home and discuss legalities and inform them that they will be ticketed if they are stopped on the road or in an accident and the child is not properly (legally) restrained. Also he said if I see a car going down the road with unrestrained children to call 911.
Of course this is a small town in Ohio, things might be different elsewhere, but you could try and have a "chat" with an officer and see what they say.
 

Genevieve

CPST Instructor
You have described my best friend. We no longer talk about car seats (at all) and I have just let it go. While it frustrates me to no end, I cannot make these choices for her and not everyone will choose to take my advice. You can only help people who want to help themselves.
 

PlacentaMama

New member
You have described my best friend. We no longer talk about car seats (at all) and I have just let it go. While it frustrates me to no end, I cannot make these choices for her and not everyone will choose to take my advice. You can only help people who want to help themselves.

:yeahthatsad: When my son was 1 y.o. my best friends kids were 1 y.o. and 3 y.o. She would put them in FF seats, but not buckle the harness because it "upset them". It drove me crazy! Thankfully she changed this practice with her next 3 kids. I think sometimes we plant the seed, and then it takes a while to grow and take root.
 

livilou

New member
Makes me sad. Clearly she knows that what she is doing is wrong because she removed all those pictures from Facebook, but she won't change her ways. :( You're so right, you can only help those who want the help but somehow I just wish I could do more.

I just don't understand why all parents don't educate themselves on this, or at least really consider change when the options have been put right in front of them. I certainly don't know everything about car seat safety, but at least I'm trying to learn.
 

Laurelz

New member
I leave it be but in frustration. If I've already tried nicely. I am not friends with this lady but I know someone via fb and she has a 9mo old ff'ing too. It's sad. She said "he's almost a year so its close enough". :(
 

livilou

New member
I leave it be but in frustration. If I've already tried nicely. I am not friends with this lady but I know someone via fb and she has a 9mo old ff'ing too. It's sad. She said "he's almost a year so its close enough". :(

Wow. :(
 

tarynsmum

Senior Community Member
I have the same thing going on too. A girl that I’m peripherally friends with (I guess we have mutual friends; she comes to the gym with us, but we never hang out alone) texted me, out of the blue, asking about a convertible seat for her baby. I gave her recs, she texted me pics of him in different seats, etc. She ended up buying the Symphony65, which is not one of the ones we had talked about, but whatever.

So then, she texts me a couple days later saying that her daughter is “almost” 40lbs and “like” 38” tall… is she ready for a booster? This kid turns 3!!!! In April. I told her, “no way! Totally not safe, needs to be mature enough, you have years, yadda yadda. I couldn’t go to the gym that night because I was sick, and our mutual friend tells me that she’s “going to do it anyway” because the little girl “said she would sit still” :dizzy: W.T.F. I’m basically done with her, honestly. I can’t be friends with someone who 100% knows better and chooses something contrary to what everyone is telling her (that, and we basically disagree on everything parenting-wise). It makes no sense to me.
 

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