So frusterated with sister!!! Need advice

sb518

New member
My sister is having a baby in January and wants to use the same car seat she used for her DD 2 years ago. It's a nice clean seat, manufactured 03/2004 but it's only a 3 point harness.

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When she brought it up from the basement today I told her she shouldn't be using it because it's a 3 point harness. She said she didn't care and that the baby would be fine.

I was so upset, I come from a family of selfish adults, and "put yourself before your child" siblings so it's really hard for me to keep my mouth shut. I gave up trying to convince them to put my niece rear-facing

I'm at my wits end! Do I give in and buy the baby a new car seat (My sister's know they can act like this and I will provide their kids with things) or do I just cross my fingers the baby will be okay and not take responsibility when it gets killed in an accident?

I'm already saving my money for a chicco keyfit or SS1 for my OWN car and the baby isn't due for 6 more months. Why do my sisters have to have their prioritys so mixed up. :confused:

My other sister just put my 38 lb niece in a backless booster. "WE DONT HAVE THE MONEY" I would love to buy her a regent or radian and the other 2 nieces marathons but I know they would just sell them and keep the money for themselves.

:mad:
 
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LimePink

Senior Community Member
What a hard situation, I have no idea what I would do. First I would say just buy them another seat, but if you think they'll sell it...what's the use?

Best thing I can think of to do is to help her install it and make sure it's in her car perfect and then make sure she buckles that baby in perfect every time the seat is used. Gently remind her where the clip should be and the no pinch rule. Also, maybe you could show your other nieces when she's around how to buckle their dolls into the new babies seat, and explain it to your nieces how important it is...and make sure she overhears. Used correctly it's safer than a 5-point used incorrectly.

Good luck, I also have selfish "adults" in my family who put their own needs before their childs. It disgusts me.:( Kudos to you though for sticking up for those kids who can't yet do it themselves!

Edit to add: I love your new siggy, your nieces are adorable!!
 

lovinwaves

New member
The seat is safe. It may not be the safest option, but as long as they properly restrain the child and carseat it should be fine.

They would be much better off with that seat properly installed, than a five-point that isn't. The best gift for them would be a Technician to check their carseat install.

You can give them a tip though: They can roll up a washcloth or very small blanket and put it above the crotch buckle. That will help lift the newborn up a bit to fit the harness straps better.

It sounds like this is a lost cause. You can vent here all you want because we obviously side with you, but at some point you may need to just give up for your sanity.
 

sb518

New member
You gave me a great idea Limepink!! Maybe I will "accidentally" break the seat and offer to buy them a new one. The hospital isn't going to let them leave without a car seat and the only one they will have will be the one I bought to replace the one I "broke" then they can't sell it :D

I'm lucky that this sister lives very close so I check DN's carseat very often, they don't mind if I just do it and not "preach" to them
 

Patriot201

Car-Seat.org Ambassador
As Melissa said, the three-point is safe (if it is properly used, of course). It may not be as safe as a 5-point, but it is safe.

Your new DN will probably not be in that seat for all that long. Doesn't that particular seat have a 20 lb/26" limit?

Hope for the best!
 

Defrost

Moderator - CPSTI Emeritus
You can share this pic of my son in his three-point harness - not sure what good it will do because it looks like it would only be an issue with an "older" baby, but I can assure you, he was doing this for months before I got around to taking a picture of it. Drove me nuts! A friend of mine had a daycare baby who actually managed to get her butt over the side in a seat with a 3-pt harness, and nearly strangled before her mother could get her out. I suspect the straps were loose and/or the chest clip was too low in that situation. Anyway, maybe this pic will at least illustrate why it's so important to always put the chest clip in the right spot and make sure the harness is tight:

96Sam3.jpg
 
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sb518

New member
Thanks for all of your advice, I decided to just wait it out and see what she uses, she was looking at the car seats today when we were at walmart so that's a good sign :thumbsup: I didn't realize the 3 point was still safe to use so knowing that makes me feel better, so you can put a rolled up blanket between the baby and crotch strap?

Here is DN in the seat at 5lbs 8oz
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I'm afraid of the impact on her little legs being behind the buckle :confused:

She fit a lot better with the snuzzler (with rolled up blankets behind it as well) but I now know that the snuzzler is a no-no, and the head thing as well, and the chest clip was way too low but we weren't going anywhere.

100_4929.jpg


So how would I be able to fit a baby in this seat correctly and safetly??? Just a lot of rolled up blankets?
 

abacus2

Well-known member
It definitely stinks that she doesn't care. However, that is a good seat, not the best, but good. I think I'd generally choose a 3pt Snugride over a 5pt Evenflo or Cosco. The crotch strap on the 3pt Snugride is close enough to the baby it's generally possible to get a good fit, unlike some other brands of 3pts where the buckle ends up out by the baby's feet. If you bought a SS1 with an extra base for your car, would she use that in her car?

ETA: It looks like the Snugride would have fit better without the Snuzzler if the straps were more snug.
 

sb518

New member
You're probably right, I could have pulled her little legs out and tightened the harness more and she may have fit better. But even with her legs out there was probably an inch between her and the crotch strap with her sitting up all the way.

Does either the SS1 or Chicco have adjustable crotch straps?
 

sb518

New member
I was just playing with the seat and a life-size doll :eek: (6lbs 19inches) and I just can't justify my future niece/nephew in it after taking these pictures.

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Since I won't be there all of the time to make sure the baby is buckled in right, I would rather them have a 5 point with a loose harness, than a 3 point with a loose harness. I think that if she hasn't gotten a 5 point harness by the time the baby comes, I will get her one and do away with the 3 point harness.

maybe I'll have to take the dolly with me to BRU :p
 

abacus2

Well-known member
All of the seats are tested to the same federal standards. And a 5-pt seat is safer than a 3-pt seat.

Isn't the primary issue of concern for 3pt rear-facing seats how well they fit rather than crash preformance? Obviously, I wouldn't use a 3pt Snugride if it didn't fit properly.
 

AdventureMom

Senior Community Member
Isn't the primary issue of concern for 3pt rear-facing seats how well they fit rather than crash preformance? Obviously, I wouldn't use a 3pt Snugride if it didn't fit properly.

My above statement was in response to a comment about using one brand over another, not about which one fit better (which is another issue entirely). The main objective of a child restraint is to prevent ejection, and a 5-pt seat, regardless of the brand, will generally do a better job of keeping a child restrained in the seat than a 3-pt and usually fits better. Here's a quote from www.car-safety.org/guide.html:

5-point Harness. Experts agree and studies confirm that this type of harness is safest. Newer designs are easier to use. The 5-point harness usually gives the best fit and reduces the chance of ejection.

I am not trying to get into a debate. I'd just hate for someone with a brand new 5-pt Evenflo to read your comment and then go home and dig out a 3-pt Snugride to use instead... That's all - just trying to add some clarification. :)
 

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