When should I take his opinion seriously RF vs FF?

zeo2ski

Well-known member
DS2 will be 4 in April, 38 lbs something like 42". He's been saying he wants to FF. He rode FF in his brother's seat when Christmas shopping in DH's car, and has been asking to FF ever since. He's not uncomfortable or anything like that (RNXT) but claims he wants to see me. I'm not opposed to a 3.5 y.o. FF by any means, it's just that he's my baby, ya know?! DS1 RFed to 4y4m so it just seems like I shouldn't turn DS2 so much earlier. But the other thing is when DS2 does FF--which he'll have to eventually--I will have to put both FFers outboard whereas so far I've only ever had RFers outboard. If DS1 was boostered, the top tethers wouldn't be part of the equation so only DS1 in the booster would be outboard; DS2 would be harnessed FF tethered center. Which was sort of my game plan. But I mentioned teaching DS1 how to sit in a booster and he said he did not want to til he was 6 or 7:rolleyes: Not sure where he got that idea, but he seemed very nervous that I would suggest such a thing! This child could have sat still in a booster at age 1.5--seriously, he's incredibly mature and safety concious. I don't want to make him get out of the harness if it's going to scare him, but he'll be 6 in August anyway (which is when the new baby is coming and carseat arranging will have to be done).

So how heavily would you weigh the opinion of either boy? I could do what they both want now and just put them both outboard. I could probably convince DS1 to TRY sitting in a booster and he might not mind it once he feels it. He did ride the bus for the first time today and loved it, but it took some talking to convince him that he'd be safe in a bus even without a seatbelt (BTW, DH and I NEVER talk carseat/car safety stuff with or in front of him besides the casual "we have to buckle up to be safe" type thing). Or I could just keep telling DS2 that he is RFing until he's older. Opinions? I feel like all the options are safe, but they are currently safEST...
 
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Brigala

CPST Instructor
Personally, I'd tell the RF kid that when he turns four in April he can choose then but I don't want to keep hearing about it before then.

For the older child, as long as he fits in his harnessed seat I'd let him stay harnessed if he wants - at least until maybe you need his car seat to pass down to a younger sibling. But I'd probably tell him it was time to learn how to ride in a booster "in case of emergency."
 

Syllieann

New member
Making sure I understand...it's not that you're uncomfortable ff-ing him, it's that ff-ing him means that both kids go outboard, thus "wasting" the protective center position? In a newer vehicle w/ good side impact scores I wouldn't worry too much about it. In an older car w/ particularly poor side impact protection, I might try to convince him he wants to rf and if that doesn't work, I wouldn't be opposed to just saying "you rf to the limits, end of discussion".
 

skylinphoto

New member
I've got an almost 4 year old who is rfing in a radian and begging to ff.
I told her when she turns 4 then she can choose which way she sits. Of course, that backfired and she shouted she wanted a booster.... lol. No way. So, I assume when she turns 4 she will ff immediately.

I don't want my baby to grow up!!

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using Car-Seat.Org
 

zeo2ski

Well-known member
Should have said, we go in the car MAYBE once a week and it has not been a battle with him, he's very reasonably stating he wants to FF and I'm simply telling him he rear faces. No biggy, but at his size I DO have to turn him relatively soon anyway. Oh, and in any case I'm not rearranging seats til this morning sickness subsides some.:cool:

Making sure I understand...it's not that you're uncomfortable ff-ing him, it's that ff-ing him means that both kids go outboard, thus "wasting" the protective center position?
This exactly.
If DS1 were boostered, the arrangement could be such that both center positions were used (by DS2 and DD). DS1 is large enough, old enough, mature enough for booster vs. harness to be a non-issue, but says he wants harness.

In a newer vehicle w/ good side impact scores I wouldn't worry too much about it. In an older car w/ particularly poor side impact protection, I might try to convince him he wants to rf and if that doesn't work, I wouldn't be opposed to just saying "you rf to the limits, end of discussion".
It's a 1998 Suburban.

. Of course, that backfired and she shouted she wanted a booster.... lol. No way.
Oiy! That's hilarious.
 

Syllieann

New member
I would not have heartburn over putting them both outboard in that vehicle. It does pretty well in crash tests, plus the sheer mass is fairly high.
 

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