Car seat as a Christmas gift

Brigala

CPST Instructor
Ok, I'm going to try to be brief because there's a lot of background here. Ask questions if you need to. :)

My son's music teacher has a 3 year old and a 4 month old infant. This summer right after I got certified I talked her into letting me inspect her car seats. I was surprised to find that her daughter was in a long-since expired hand-me-down convertible with a missing top tether. I talked to her about why it needed to be replaced and talked her into going out and buying a Nautilus for her daughter. She was going to re-use her Baby Trend infant seat which is not expired, so I figured she'd be good for a while.

Later, after the baby was born I had a few Wayfair Radians available and I asked her if she was interested in getting one for her son, and found out that she'd bought not one, but two Nautiluses. Her plan was that if her son wasn't quite big enough for the Nauti yet when he outgrew the Baby Trend infant seat, he could use the old expired convertible for just a little while until he could use the Nautilus. *sigh* I talked to her about why that really wasn't a good idea, and suggested she try to return the second Nautilus.

Well, I talked to her again tonight and she hasn't changed her plans at all. She said she simply couldn't afford another car seat. There have been other indications that money has become really tight for them. I know her husband just got home from a deployment only days before the baby was born, so I wonder if he's essentially out of work. They have a nice house and everything but I know with this economy like it is they could be upside down in it... so I believe her when she says she can't afford it, but I don't know the details of her financial situation.

Anyway, I just had a True Fit Recline show up on my porch today from No Better Deal. It is in perfect, new/sealed condition. DOM is two years old (Jan '10), but don't they have a 7 year lifespan? So it would be good for 5 years?? I am thinking about just giving it to her for Christmas. I thought I'd attach one string and tell her she needs to give me the old expired seat to have it recycled. I thought I might also suggest that she try to sell the Nautilus unless she needs it as a back-up or other-car seat for her daughter. The True Fit will last most kids to age 5, right? Almost as long as a Nautilus in harness mode? So unless the Nauti were being used for her daughter it really wouldn't make sense to even keep both seats around.

DH is cool with me just giving the TF away. I don't need it. I bought it to play with and may or may not have ended up keeping it. Besides, I just made $60 profit on another seat I got and flipped through a local consignment shop, so I have money in my car seat fund and that's what the fund is for anyway.

My other option would be to keep the TF and buy a cheaper seat for her. Or just a different seat. How good is the TF in general for people who might be a little uninformed about car seat usage? Is there anything better? (At least now she knows the seat belts are supposed to be locked... I decided not to address the big fleecy Bundle Me that was in her Baby Trend today, though. Sigh.)
 
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SignCuer

New member
I did the same thing for the 2 youngest (2 and 3 1/2 months) at work. I got them a Nautilus and Graco Snugride35 to replace the Comfortsport which was outgrown and the bucket expired. It was a great feeling because now I'm willing to drive her car with those kids in it. (Yes the 2 yr old is FF but when she's in my car, she's RFing and I do make an effort to swap out the seats when she rides in the car.)

On my faithful sidekick :) Don't text and drive... It may save a life!
 

Brigala

CPST Instructor
Is the other Nauti in it's box? Can you trade her?

I presume so. I'm thinking if she is uncomfortable with the gift, I will offer to trade. I would then sell the Nauti (if it's new) and give back anything above what I paid for the TFR. But I don't want to attach too many strings to the gift. I don't know whether she would be willing to trade off a seat she probably paid $150 for.
 

Kaitsmom

New member
I would tell her you won the TF and cant use it or dont need it but you definatly could use the GN. Ask her if she would be willing to help you out and do a trade?
 

Brigala

CPST Instructor
I already told her I had bought the TFR. I don't think I'd feel good about fudging it anyway.

Really, she is a great music teacher and she only charges $20 per lesson - which is about $10 less than most private teachers around here. And she's a university music professor too, so she's very qualified and I'd be happy to pay her more. I think she deserves a Christmas present. And if I'm going to trade her for a seat, I'd rather take the expired crappy Evenflo to recycle. If I recall, it was manufactured in 2002. It's not like taking away the Nautilus will keep her from FFing at 1 & 20 if she's going to, since the TFR can FF also, but giving her the TF will at least keep her from making the decision of "expired RF seat or new FF seat" and hopefully that will be enough for her to keep him RF until 2.

ETA: Besides if I told her I could "really use" the GN I'd have to come up with some kind of reason why I could use it when she knows my own toddler is under two and my boys are years past car seat age. I mean I guess I could use it for DH's granddaughter, but that would be a lie because really she's all set for car seats.
 

SeattleRain

New member
What do you think the chances are that the baby will be 20lbs by the time she's 1?

What do you think the chances are that she'll FF at 1 and 20?

If you think the baby will be 20lbs and you think she'll ultimately FF at 1, I don't see why a trade would be necessary. Sure, I think FF a 1 year old is a really bad idea, but it's a better option than an expired seat. Isn't the Nauti supposed to fit young/small kids really well?

If you think she might be open to RF the baby until 2, I'd definitely try to go that angle and trade her the TF. If you show her how to install it and deal with those lock-offs, it's pretty user friendly.
 

mominabigtruck

New member
I agree with the pp, I'd only give it to her if you thought she was going to use it a while rfing. Otherwise, if she's got a brand new gn she might as well use it.
Posted via Mobile Device
 

Brigala

CPST Instructor
The baby is on the big/heavy side for his age, though not huge. I don't think there's any chance they'll keep using the infant bucket until he turns one. That's why she held on to the old expired seat, I guess. They'll either put him in the expired seat or in the GN before he's a year old, and neither option is a good one.

I don't know whether they'll keep him RF past one if they have an appropriate seat for it or not. But she might.
 

cryswilkins

New member
I personally think you should leave it alone. You gave her the education and she has made her decision. "Gifting" her a car seat is essentially questioning her ability to parent. If you value her as a music teacher I would just let it go.

Sent from my iPhone. Please excuse my auto correct.
 

mominabigtruck

New member
If she was really interested she could have 1. Exchanged the gn for a convertible seat or 2. If she couldn't return it, selling it on cl and buying something else or maybe even trading you for a radian. To me her financial situation is inconsequential because she has a new $150 seat sitting in her house. Even if she sold it at a loss on cl there's still TONS of seats she could turn around a buy with that money. It's not like her only options are an infant seat or the expired seat, kwim?
Posted via Mobile Device
 

Brigala

CPST Instructor
I think I'll tell her she can have the seat if she wants it. I'm not going to give it to her if she doesn't want it, though. Someone will appreciate it.
 

Lemonade

New member
One thing with putting a 1 yr old in a GN vs a convertible is major sleeping headslump. 1 yr olds generally sleep a good bit in the car and you can tell her the TF would offer a lot more support and recline when he does go FF. I like the idea of offering to let her use your extra seat as long as she needs it.
 

lourdes

Well-known member
Lemonade said:
One thing with putting a 1 yr old in a GN vs a convertible is major sleeping headslump. 1 yr olds generally sleep a good bit in the car and you can tell her the TF would offer a lot more support and recline when he does go FF. I like the idea of offering to let her use your extra seat as long as she needs it.

I agree, you can offer her the TFR with the excuse of the head slumping and try to keep the expired seat for recycle
 

Brigala

CPST Instructor
Yeah, I'll talk to her about that issue as well. And I'll tell her I don't want her to feel like he has to take the seat, it's her choice, but if she wants it and will use it, she can have it and I'll trade for the expired seat. I'll let her know that the new seat should last until her son is in kindergarten, and suggest that she either use the other Nauti for the other car for the older child, or sell it, or let me sell it for her. But what she does with it is up to her.
 

Brigala

CPST Instructor
Ok, so here is where we are... via text message:

me:
I have a car seat I can give you if you want it, but I don't want you to feel like you have to take it. Let me know.

her:
Sure! That'd be great! I am out of town, but can get it at C's next lesson.

So my first thought is to go ahead and give her the TFR. I will ask her to trade the expired car seat. Her baby's only 4 months old. Even if she thinks now that she'll FF at a year (which I feel like the main reason for that is financial) she could easily change her mind over the next few months especially if her pediatrician echoes what I've been telling her.

The other option would be to pick something else out for her, but I'm thinking that if she has a really nice seat that she likes she'll be more inclined to keep using it and maybe even keep using it RF. And off the top of my head I can't think of anything that would be better for her than a TFR that I could get for less than the $75 I paid for it.
 

Carrie_R

Ambassador - CPS Technician
I would give her the TF, since she's open to it. I might use the unusual install (lockoffs) as excuse to help her install it -- now or when the time comes.
 

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