Help him feel secure in booster or just get a Frontier 85

Hi all. I posted back in may about my special needs 6 year old who was outgrowing his harnessed car seats. We ended up buying him a Britax booster seat with an anti-submarine clip and working on booster training while he still had a bit of room in the harnessed seats. He finally has gotten to the harness limit in his harnessed seats now (frontier 80 and graco nautilus). He is traveling well in the booster seat for short to medium trips in his dad's car.

However, we regularly go on a five hour car trip to visit Grandma and when we talked about turning his frontier into a second booster seat for our main car he got very upset about the idea of going to Grandma's without a harness. He really thinks he can't do it. He says "It gets too long and I just want to throw myself out of my seat and in a booster I can." I guess I give him points for being self aware, but I wish I could make him feel more safe and comfortable in the booster.

We do have a younger child who could get the Frontier 85 as a hand me down if we bought one, but it's not strictly necessary for him though I suppose in a year or so he will need some other seat to replace his convertible, I wasn't planning on such an expensive seat. What would you do? There isn't anything new (and less expensive) that is as tall as the Frontier 85, is there?

At this point the FR85 is the tallest traditional harnessed seat. How much room does he have left in the FR85?

Can your DS articulate what it is about the booster that makes him uncomfortable? Does he feel he needs more side support, something holding him from falling forward, etc.?

I have not been able to try him in a Frontier 85. He is exactly at the limit of the Frontier 80 harnessed, if he grows another millimeter he'll be too tall for it, if that gives you an idea of his height. Unfortunately it's pretty much impossible for us to try him in the 85 without just ordering it, but I assume it will give him about an inch and a half more growth?

It doesn't seem to be a comfort issue, he just says he gets antsy and wants to get out of the car after a while. With the harness on he says he can rock around or stretch against the harness and still stay seated, while he thinks if he was in a booster he wouldn't be able to have the self control to not unbuckle it or just jump out of it. I think he's counting on the security of the harness to do some of the work for him. He's very comfortable in his booster seat so I think it's specifically the harness and that he can't undo that himself while he can release his own seat belt.

I sort of feel like if he can articulate that he doesn't have the self control, he probably really does, but I am reluctant to go against his own assessment of his ability to sit correctly.

Do you have switchable retractors on your seat belts?
Locking the seat belt might help him feel more secure.

I tend to side with you - if he can tell you he feels unsafe, he probably has the self control to remain safe. I also think he's very used to (read "comfortable") with the 5 pt harness. The seat belt still is new & foreign. Think how odd you feel (would feel) if you don't wear your seat belt.

What if he has plenty of activities to keep him busy? And maybe something new/novel as a surprise. . .

Tell him to let you know when

he gets antsy and wants to get out of the car after a while.

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A 5 hour trip warrants a potty stop & stretch break (or maybe more than one if he's anxious). Bring a ball, frisbee, scooter, or jump rope so he gets lots of movement when you stop. Turn the trip to Grandma's into 2-3 short trips rather than one long one.

Do you have room in the vehicle to bring both seats? Have him start in the booster but be able to switch it out if he needs it. Maybe having both options will help.

Do you think he would prefer a vest (ride safer or ez on)? That would possibly give him more of the feeling of the harness. Some kids really like the weight of the ride safer (it was originally designed for SN kids).

Bringing something for him to move around at the rest area is a good idea, we do make at least one stop often two, but there are parts of the trip that are in areas where it's difficult to stop. I did talk to him and ask if he could tell me when he's starting to feel that way and we could stop before he starts feeling like he needs to get out and he said "maybe".

I've been interested in those vests but not sure how they work exactly, are they comfortable for long trips? And is there anywhere you can go to try one? How much are they? I looked on the website for them but couldn't find information on cost. We tried one type of vest a long time ago and he was very uncomfortable in it, but it wasn't quite the same as the EZ rider ones and he was much much younger.

I don't know if our car has switchable retractors on the seat belts but I will check. It's an '03 Camry.

The RideSafer vest works basically by keeping the belt in the correct position. In that way, it's more like a booster than a harness; however, it does have more weight than the booster and it helps distribute force. It would also keep the belt positioned, even if he wiggled some.

The EZ on vests are like extra harness straps; one model you can actually use along with a booster, so that may be something that he'd like. They do require tether anchors, so if his seating position doesn't have one, this option would be out.

As for actually trying them out, you'd probably have to find someone near you that has one. I would check w/ local CPST-Is or SNs CPS programs.