My car seat moral dilemma

I got some FR85s and RA55s from Wayfair. I need to install one or the other in IL's car for DN today. I am having trouble deciding which one. This will be long. Fair warning.

DN was 3 in July. He's 37# last we know but could be close to 40# now. He's approx. 39-40" tall. 14.5" torso. Currently rides in a BLVD in his parents' cars. BIL is going through a divorce. Has lived with IL for 5m. IL's are driving to spend 2.5m at their Florida condo in a few days and in Dec. BIL is flying down with DN for a week. Tried talking them into taking a seat on the plane but not happening. So I am installing a seat in IL's car before they go so they can pick up at the airport.

BIL is broke because SIL ran up 30K in CC debt plus other stuff. IL's bought the plane tix and a lot of other stuff (lawyer for BIL). BIL will be fine once he stops letting SIL financially eff him (he continues to pay all her bills and give her spending money, but I digress.) But it will take a while until he's financially good again.

I initially told him I got him a FR85. For $115. He mentioned that IL's might help and I said we could possibly split it. Possibly my kids might ride in it but we have never let IL's drive them yet so if we do in the future it will be extremely limited for safety reasons.

I could actually make some $ on resale on the FR. Whereas I also have some RA55s that cost less and are worth less for resale. I estimate he would get 18m out of the RA55 and it wouldn't probably be as comfy a year from now. But it's less $ that I'm essentially giving BIL and it's lighter and I think easier for ILs to install. The FR, OTOH, would cost me more to gift him but would last him forever. DH and I have been helping BIL out in little ways but since he's not doing anything to remedy his own situation we're getting sick of it (so are IL!) an DH isn't going to be happy about me giving him a seat that I could make $ on. And this is his brother! (He won't be MAD, he'll just be annoyed.)

And I'm not sure, at this point, if IL's are contributing. So I could be only getting maybe half and then there's any resale $ I lose out on. So gifting him a FR could 'cost' me over $110. Whereas the RA55 would maybe 'cost' me $75 at most.

What should I do? I think I know. But please tell me.

Can you contribute $40 towards a Maestro and still sell the Fr for profit?

Kinda a compromise? You did suggest he could buy it off you.

Thirsty4Knowledge said:

Can you contribute $40 towards a Maestro and still sell the Fr for profit?

Kinda a compromise? You did suggest he could buy it off you.

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We initially talked about a Maestro before this sale came up. That's what I agreed to split. Kind of as a holiday gift in my head. I just can't see the point of making a kid ride in a maestro when a FR is available. Especially since it's saving $50 in the future on a turbo booster. And if my kids ever do ride in it, I would prefer the FR. And it will be easier for them to deal with since it's no rethread, etc. I do have the Britax love but not the bubble because I actually use them properly.

IDK then. By the time he's boostered, he may need something different anyway. KWIM? I avoid buying seats with multiple uses because you may need something different. I also find the Maestro easy to use.

I would have a hard time buying a maestro if I already had a fr sitting around. I actually find evenflo combo seats really easy to use and install but any way you look at it, you're going to get more use out of a fr. But I also get where it would be giving it away to someone who doesn't really appreciate it.

I can't imagine at all giving a ra55 for a almost 40lb kid. It's cheaper in the short run but in the long term you will need another seat.
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mominabigtruck said:

I can't imagine at all giving a ra55 for a almost 40lb kid. It's cheaper in the short run but in the long term you will need another seat.
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This is what I was thinking.

Just messaged with BIL and he said MIL doesn't want the seat in her car permanently. So I am thinking I'll give them the RA55 and sell it after the trip. Or keep it. Since I was planning to keep one RA55 anyway. DD can use her CCO until they get back. She's still got 6-12m in it.

Ok. So BIL says they are looking just to leave a seat there in FL. One we could also use. Um no. I told him my kids would be flying in seats (at least DD) and we're planning to go when IL aren't there at some point so it would do us no good to have a seat waiting at the condo if we're renting a car at the airport. And if he ever takes DN when IL aren't there, what will he do? I told him it might be better to get a maestro and ship it there and I can teach them general installation before they leave. We'll see what he says. Then that leaves me out of it completely as far as money goes. He's a nice guy but dumb and lazy.

Lemonade said:

Ok. So BIL says they are looking just to leave a seat there in FL. One we could also use. Um no. I told him my kids would be flying in seats (at least DD) and we're planning to go when IL aren't there at some point so it would do us no good to have a seat waiting at the condo if we're renting a car at the airport. And if he ever takes DN when IL aren't there, what will he do? I told him it might be better to get a maestro and ship it there and I can teach them general installation before they leave. We'll see what he says. Then that leaves me out of it completely as far as money goes. He's a nice guy but dumb and lazy.

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Now I'm confused. Was the seat you are giving supposed to be for DN's permanent use or just for his stay in Florida?

If you do give them the FR could you give them your FR80 and keep the FR85? Not sure if you would want to do that or not but that way you would get to keep the newer seat.

This is just for when he's in FL with IL. They both live locally in Philly but IL's have a condo in FL.

LOL I have 2 FRs in my car and I can't have non-matching seats. I could not have a FR80 for one kid and a FR85 for the other in my car. That would not be acceptable

MIL came over to learn how to install. She said she'd buy him the Maestro. She totally agreed that the Britax seats I showed her were awesome but bulky/heavy. She said she could bring a seat back instead of leave it there. Whatever. BIL is claiming he wants to go down 2x this winter. Well, he's beyond broke and ILs paid for the tix this time and I doubt they will do it again so soon. He's delusional. MIL told me I have her permission to kick his arse because he's not listening to her or FIL.

MIL found a maestro on walmart.com for $62. Cool. It's all settled.

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