New here but need some support

So I have done my research because I am having a third baby and we need to fit 3 across the back of our hyundai elantra - Well I was able to make it work with 2 radians and a keyfit even got the base in on the keyfit and All RF. my set up is:
RF RN (3.5 y/o) / RF RN (2.5 y/o) / Keyfit.

Some hard work and some help from my husband and all seats are seatbelt installed and in tight. The RN are rock solid - they seem to work well in our car.

So, here is my whine. My 2 boys are happy to be rear facing inspite of the fact that they had been FF before I got the radians. And I am confident it is the safest and best set up right now. But my friends are rolling their eyes at me. Suggesting that it is absurd to RF an almost 4 y/o. (He is only 31lbs. There is no reason I can see not to rear face him!) In fact when one mother asked me why - I simply said it was safer and then she countered that it was probably safest never to leave the house. I had no response. I wasn't expecting to have to defend my decision to RF. I mean it is okay to RF as long as they are within the limitations of the seat. We are all comfortable in the car even with my husband driving because we got a really good upright install on the driver's side outboard RN.

Anyway, that is my rant. Thanks for reading.

Kudos to you for working so hard to keep your kids safe. No one here will give you a hard time for rearfacing a 3yo. My own almost 3.5yr old dd is rearfacing. She's safe, she's happy, she sleeps better when necessary, I am happy, why change?

I understand people thinking you are nuts though. If I don't think the person is receptive to any comments about extended rear facing, I usually just say this is what works for us and for our situation. With some people, it is just not worth getting into it.

Some people just don't like it and there's nothing you can do to change their minds. Sure not leaving the house is safer, but you take the calculated risk to drive, and choose to transport your kids the safest way you can. The benefit of rear-facing outweighs the cost for you, so you do it.

A lot of people think it's ridiculous to RF past 1, but it really doesn't matter what they think. If I were in your position, just tell them that you respect their parenting choices and you'd appreciate it if they would respect yours. You know what's safest, another parent's opinion won't affect that.

Another thought is to tell them it's more comfortable for the almost 4 y/o because he has somewhere to put his legs, and he can sleep in the car if he wants.

fnpmama said:

I simply said it was safer and then she countered that it was probably safest never to leave the house. I had no response.

Click to expand...

"That's true, except that if I didn't leave the house I might lose my sanity. Installing the car seat rear-facing, however, doesn't cause me or my child any extra stress, so I might as well transport him the safest way I can."

You are doing great. Around here, nobody's going to act like you're nuts for keeping your child rear-facing.

My seventeen year old son gripes about having to face forward in the car. He believes all cars should be built with only the driver's seat facing forward and everyone else facing backwards for maximum safety. Then again, he is kind of a weird duck.

Thanks Mamas. I guess I was just so surprised. With the new AAP recommendation this year I thought ERF had become pretty main stream.

Good for you. Maybe your response will get them thinking. Or researching. I rf'd my grandson to 3.5 when he maxed out the weight limit of his seat.

I always tell people that I can't help it that they're not utd on best and safest cs use. And if they are I tell people I can't help that they're choosing to not do the safest thing for their kids.

I've noticed that the people who have the most to say about it though are usually the people that haven't used a seat in years if ever.
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