Advice on when to let DS FF in dad's car

Mom2three · Sep 8, 2011

Now that we are in the process of getting divorced, the last time he had the kids all he did was complain, complian, complain about DS RF. DS is almost 27 months, approx 25lbs, and has plenty of time to RF still. I turned DD at 4 yrs old, and plan on doing the same with him. But my husband is so not cool with that idea suddenly. It's amazing how quickly his attitude changed on so many things. I know it wouldn't be horrible to let him FF when he is with dad now, but I cannot bring myself to believe that.
In this situation, what would you do, and why?

freqflyer · Sep 8, 2011

My almost three year old (next month) is rear facing in my car and forward facing in his Dad's car.

I turned him FF in his Dad's car at 2 1/2 years because his Dad was letting him ride in the front seat (unrestrained) to go through the car wash. FF seemed the lesser of two evils since the reason he said he was in the front seat was so he wouldn't be scared and could see his Dad.

I would see if your soon to be ex would agree to turn at 3 but if he won't compromise, you may prefer to install the seat FF so you know it is installed correctly. I periodically check the car seat in his Dad's car to make sure it is still installed correctly and that my son is buckled correctly.

I understand your concern though. In the larger scheme of things, if this is a battle you want to take on, feel free to push for more time RF, but there will be a lot of issues over the course of the divorce that need to be settled and I know I didn't have the emotional energy to argue everything.

Dillipop · Sep 8, 2011

Unfortunately, now that you two have split, it's kind of dad's call. Your ds is over the minimums (even the newer AAP ones), he's over the legal limit, and I'm going to guess that even if you got seat written into your parenting plan, the most a judge would enforce is being in properly used and legal seats.

So I think you should teach your xh to install the seat forward facing properly, make sure the tether is attached, and check the seats to make sure the kids are in there safely.