Question Please help me decide what to do with DS1

Little Ps Mama · Jul 12, 2011

DS1 is 6 weeks away from 3 years old. I've always said 3 is my minimum for forward facing. He still fits in his MR and he doesn't complain about RF. DH is starting to complain about RF so I told him we could turn him at 3 as long as I felt comfortable with it, so DH isn't really the problem. The problem is DS2. He hates the car. He makes every car ride miserable and has since we brought him home from the hospital. Yesterday, out of desperation, I experimented with putting DS2 outboard RF behind the passenger and DS1 FF in the center seat right next to each other. Whether it was a fluke or not, DS2 didn't scream once during the ride and seemed to love being able to see and play with DS1. I've tried achieving the same thing with mirrors but that doesn't seem to do the trick for him. And, trust me, almost 11 months into this, we've tried everything to keep him happy in the car, short of FF his brother (until yesterday).

So what's the right answer? Keep DS1 RF for safety, or turn him FF for sanity? Is he really as unsafe as he feels FF right now? Please help this guilt-stricken mother decide!

Jessica61624 · Jul 12, 2011

My kids used to sit next to each other and they were fine. Now they fight so bad they're both outboard.

ericarizo · Jul 12, 2011

I would say try it a couple of times and see what happens and how you feel and then make a decision.

Chely7425 · Jul 12, 2011

I turned my 3 year old FF for logistical purposes (plus he had a crazy growth spurt, and due to the set up in our car wasn't comfortable) but the unexpected bonus has been him being able to play with the 9 month old

I say try it a few times and see how you feel, you can always change things again!

Brigala · Jul 12, 2011

If the screaming baby is a distraction to the driver, that isn't safe either.

If turning the 3 year old means you're all less likely to be in an accident, and you've tried everything else, then I think it's worth it.

Not being in a crash in the first place is your first priority in keeping your children safe.

I know for me, when the baby is screaming bloody murder, it's hard for me to keep all my attention on the road.

Kat_Momof3 · Jul 12, 2011

at 3, I'm fine with ffing... and a crying screaming baby can be quite a distraction.

that said... where were they each placed before?

if baby was in the center before, perhaps he simply likes seeing out the window... if not, then it's probably seeing his brother.

Little Ps Mama · Jul 13, 2011

Kat_Momof3 said:
at 3, I'm fine with ffing... and a crying screaming baby can be quite a distraction.

that said... where were they each placed before?

if baby was in the center before, perhaps he simply likes seeing out the window... if not, then it's probably seeing his brother.

DS2 was in the middle and DS1 was outboard behind the passenger. After one day of FF, I couldn't take it anymore and turned him back around.

This time I put him RF in the middle and left DS2 in his new position outboard behind the passenger. He does seem a bit happier being able to see out the window and I feel better about having DS1 RF again! When it comes down to it, I'd much rather deal with a crying baby than the possibility of my son being injured and me possibly having been able to prevent it by having him RF.

Thanks for all of your replies.

mommycat · Jul 14, 2011

Glad you found a solution that makes you feel comfortable about the setup for now.

Hope DS2 settles in to car rides better now that he can see more and even more so as he gets a bit taller and older. How reclined is his seat? Maybe putting it a bit more upright may make him even more relaxed in the car?

Babywearing Meghan · Jul 14, 2011

ya know I wanted to make it to 4 so badly with Nolan.. but I am finding it harder and harder, to believe it is going to happen.. I think we are just going to turn him when he is 3.5 give or take, he has been gaining weight FAST and will be out of the true fit for weight rear facing sooner than later and height for the my ride, the radian xt will the only seat he can use rfing before long.. he hates it and does want to ride Rfing honestly.. it is a huge battle every time I put him in the car, It is not a phase, he has hated it since birth lol, but once Fiona turned ffing he was so mad that he had to ride rear facing and has spent basically 2 years wanted to turn around like his sisters... he wants to use Fionas nautilus, always asks me if he can and gets upset that I won't let him.
I might just do it depending on how bad the snow is this winter... especially with the lack of options we will have.. he will at least be ffing in Keiths car since he rarely rides in there, probably by the winter.

Kat_Momof3 · Jul 14, 2011

what it sounds like to me was that either he just wanted to see... or (what is also possible) is that he may have been getting a tad carsick... sometimes carsickness happens when we're in the middle, sometimes because we aren't... everyone's different.

and obviously, all a baby can do is cry.

Heck, Ruthie hated her baby bucket... the minute I put her in a convertible seat... in the same seating position in the same car... she was so quiet... before, you'd have thought someone was lighting her on fire.

I'm glad things are more smooth for you and I think if having his brother being ff made you more distracted with concern than his crying, you made the right decision regardless of what that meant for his seating (but again, glad that a window seat makes him a bit happier, as I wish everyone could ride happily, even if it's not always doable)

Question Please help me decide what to do with DS1

Little Ps Mama

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Jessica61624

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ericarizo

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Chely7425

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Brigala

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Kat_Momof3

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Little Ps Mama

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mommycat

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