Moms that don't vax

momof2kiddos

New member
Ds's 2 yr check-up is tommorrow and after doing research of my own I have decided that I don't want my kids to be vaxed,but I am still debatating on the Hep A vax,so if you have info about that,I would much apreciate it.But anyways What do I tell the doctor when he starts baggering me about vaxing.We are military so I know it is going to happen,I just want to know what to say so I can stand my ground,because I hate arguing,so I just want to say what I need to say and be done...Though it might not be that easy:whistle:
 
ADS

easterbun

New member
If you SAH and he's not in daycare I wouldn't do the Hep A - the risk he'd come in contact with it outside of a daycare situation is really fairly low.
 

jmm3

New member
If you've already decided against the other vaxes, I think HepA would be fairly easy to decide to skip. If he were to contract a vax-preventable illness, HepA is probably one of the lowest risk ones. It very rarely leads to chronic problems. It is more easily spread than HepB however. The HepA vaccine has only recently been added to the national schedule, it used to only be in select higher-risk areas and/or for higher-risk people. You probably already know this though, if you've done research on this stuff.

About telling the doctor, if s/he questions you, which I'm sure they will, I would just tell what you've found in your research. I think any good dr. should want to make sure that you really are making an educated decision, and not just deciding against vaccinations because everyone else is doing it or you read a website called ihatevaccines.com. They should be willing to listen to what you have to say.
 

LuvBug

New member
About telling the doctor, if s/he questions you, which I'm sure they will, I would just tell what you've found in your research. I think any good dr. should want to make sure that you really are making an educated decision, and not just deciding against vaccinations because everyone else is doing it or you read a website called ihatevaccines.com. They should be willing to listen to what you have to say.

lol! yeah make sure you arent getting all your info from a site like that :p then the doc will probably take you serious.

Our doctor just wanted us to do the chicken pox vax... that is the only one he picked on us about. Youd think of all the things to pick, why the chicken pox? lol! We went to the health department and get an exemption letter and handed it to the doc and told them this is what we have decided is right for us.

Hopefully your doctor will respect your decision, if not I would try to transfer to one who does.
 

Kellyr2

New member
Just tell the doctor that based on your research, you've decided to avoid vaccinations. Personally, I'd refuse to argue about it. The military doesn't own your kids, they can't force you to get them vaxed. (army wife here!)
If they give you problems, I'd complain, but then, I'd also just switch to a civillian provider. I see a civ doctor who is fully supportive of our vax choices and I'm SO thankful for him!
 

lovinwaves

New member
Why don't you just tell him the "real" reasons of *why* you don't want your DC vaccinated. If you have decided not to do then you should be able to defend or explain back to him why you don't want it done. Just recite all of your research basically to him....
 

momof2kiddos

New member
Thanks everyone,Kelly I just might switch to a civilian,when it was time for tristan's mmr vax,I told the doctor that I did not want him to have that,he went into this huge debate telling me how my research is wrong and that tristan had to have it weather I wanted him to or not because my dh was military and they could force him to make tristan get the shot for health reasons.Being a dumb newbie to the military I did it.Everytime I say anything about what I do not want,they tell me I am wrong and they know what they are doing.

Do you know how long it would take to switch to tricare standard?
 

UlrikeDG

Admin - CPS Technician Emeritus
Switching simply involves going to the Tricare office and filling out paperwork. It wasn't a big deal, just a PITB. *shrug*

If you're otherwise happy with base care, you do have a couple of other options. 1) You could quit doing well baby visits. We never did them, so vacc was never an issue. 2) You could ask around and find out if any of the other docs are more respectful over the issue. It's not unusual to have one doctor or NP who isn't quite as obnoxious over it as the others.
 

supercrunch

New member
I have found that the easiest way out is to tell them that you've decided to wait on that shot until the next appointment. They're less likely to bug you if they think you're going to do it...just not right now.

That's how it all started for me. I just delayed, delayed, delayed until I decided not to do it at all.
 

momof2kiddos

New member
Switching simply involves going to the Tricare office and filling out paperwork. It wasn't a big deal, just a PITB. *shrug*

If you're otherwise happy with base care, you do have a couple of other options. 1) You could quit doing well baby visits. We never did them, so vacc was never an issue. 2) You could ask around and find out if any of the other docs are more respectful over the issue. It's not unusual to have one doctor or NP who isn't quite as obnoxious over it as the others.

Thanks,I am going to skip madisyn's 4 month check-up since she is late anyways,and just take tristan to his tommorow and just try to "get through it" and try to find another doctor here at portsmouth,hopefully I can find a good one so I don't have to deal with tricare...I think all military familes know how they can be:whistle:
 

Kellyr2

New member
No clue about Standard, I'm on Prime. I'd just go online and switch my primary care provider. If you go into the offices, sometimes they'll tell you you aren't allowed. Which very well may be true. But if you do it online and then get a letter confirming it, then there's no hassle and no lies. If it's allowed, you can do it that way. I called ALL the time and was told over and over that no I coudlnt' switch to the ped's clinic on post, it was full, and no I couldn't go off post. I believed them, but then moved away and moved back 7 mo later, and just marched into the office and filled out the paperwork listing civ docs as my PCMs and they just processed it all with no questions. Don't ask, just do it.
 

momof2kiddos

New member
No clue about Standard, I'm on Prime. I'd just go online and switch my primary care provider. If you go into the offices, sometimes they'll tell you you aren't allowed. Which very well may be true. But if you do it online and then get a letter confirming it, then there's no hassle and no lies. If it's allowed, you can do it that way. I called ALL the time and was told over and over that no I coudlnt' switch to the ped's clinic on post, it was full, and no I couldn't go off post. I believed them, but then moved away and moved back 7 mo later, and just marched into the office and filled out the paperwork listing civ docs as my PCMs and they just processed it all with no questions. Don't ask, just do it.

I called yesterday to make dh a apt for his pcm and they informed me I wasn't allowed to do that they had to hear his voice on the phone to make apts for him:rolleyes: .....ummm okay?!?

I love free medical but it is to much of a hassle,I can't wait for dh to get out.I will search online for more providers...
 

arly1983

New member
Not trying to influence your decision in the least (really)....just trying to get you to see where your military doctor is coming from....and also so you can plan ahead if he takes this line of reasoning....

We choose to vaccinate because my DH was deployed and exposed to God only knows what, not only in Iraq, but just being in close proximity to so many other people for long periods of time. (i.e. swampy Ft. Stewart in a 50 man tent with no ventalation)

On DHs first trip back from Iraq, he had been recently exposed to Hep. B and Jackson was only 8 months old. The army doctor made sure Jackson had had all of his vaccines before Eric could hold him for first time in 8 months (he left when he was two days old)

After Eric was sent to the G8 Summit, he came back with chills and a fever of 104 for 3 days and then it went away. Now he has this chills and high fever every summer and they can't figure out why. (nobody else has caught it!?!?)

Just saying that your military doctor is probably looking at it from all angles. Make sure you tell him, you have weighted all the options and this is the best for you.
 

Lys

Senior Community Member
We have Tricare Prime and go to the peds clinic on post.
We selectively delay vaxs and refuse others.
Yes, I've had some providers try to argue with me but when it comes right down to it, I tell them it's my decision as a parent.
And when they try to throw the old " I'll get your dh's command to MAKE you get vaxs."
I politely inform them that it is also my right to SUE the hell out of them ( since *I* am a civilian) if my child has any adverse reactions to the shot that they are MAKING me give him/her!! And until they can assure me beyond any doubt that they won't have ANY reaction, I won't allow it.
I have only had to use that once and boy, let me tell you, did that NP get upset! Grumbled and moaned our entire appt! ROFL! She even went so far as to document it in my child's chart!! But ultimately, I am the one who has to live with my choice.
And if anything happened to my child that was even remotely preventable, I would never forgive myself for allwoing someone talk me into it.
Same goes for car seat safety!
 

Yoshi

New member
Nothing to say about your vaxing choices- but is it ever a good idea to skip a well-check up? I have been know to have completely forgotten a couple yearly physicals for my teenager,but at such a young age, when your child can't yet communicate anything- aren't you worried you may miss something serious? Even apparently healthy thriving kids can have things. I am just a worrier. Sometimes the earlier they spot things, the more treatable they are. And you know I'm thinking of totally rare things, like cancer, but still.
 

Morganthe

New member
Before you make a switch from Prime to Standard, make sure you know what the difference is for coverage and costs.
Tricare Prime Overview has a chart further down the page looking at the different programs. You can request to change your PCM or your child's PCM under certain circumstances. It might help to try that before switching programs.

I am absolutely amazed that Central Appts would not allow you to make a PCM appt for your husband. :eek: I have never ever had that happen in 15 years of marriage and various bases. I"ve made numerous appts, dental, PCM, AND Optical, for him especially when he's worked odd shifts or hasn't had access to phone service. Anyone ever see a phone booth on the flightline? ;) That's just silly! :rolleyes:

It has to be a base policy, not AF wide. It definitely does not fall under the Privacy Act since you are listed in DEERS under his number too. The dr just cannot discuss his medical situation with you.... not that appts can only be made by him :rolleyes:

If you feel strongly about the Vacc, don't give an explanation. Use your Mommy veto and nix it. But if your dh deploys, I'd do it as a precaution just like what happened with Arly. You just don't know what he'll come in contact with in those strange parts of the world in really nasty conditions.

Good luck tomorrow :)
 

becca011906

Senior Community Member
I havn't done well baby check ups for about 2 years... we took allie at 15 months they talked us into a "now manditory lead test" and it was nothing but HE** the whole time they did the stick, i took allie back about 2 months ago to get her dr to sign off and agree that she needs speech therepy and they were so crapy b/c she was 2 years 8 months and they considered her there for her 2 year check up... it was a wait of my $90 co pay and a waste of dirve to even take her. I HATE HATE HATE well baby check ups ! LOL

Although i do say i did let my dh talk me into/tell me that they kids are going to be get all vacs and they have so far up till abby and allie both need 5 year boosters. I'm so worried b/c abby is supose to go to the dr and hasn't been since she was 3 years old and she just keeps begging me not to let them give her shots. :( i don't want to do the MMR but i'm not sure at all how to approch the school about it. I know she won't get the dumb poinless booster for chicken poks b/c all my kids had them... oh well i have 2 months to do resurch between now and when school starts...
 

Starlight

Senior Community Member
FTR, Your dh's command can NOT force you to vaccinate your children.

They can force your dh to vaccinate himself, because he is "military property." But they can't force you to vaccinate yourself or your children. And they can't force him to do it either. It's an illegal order.

If I was given the line "I'll get your dh's command to MAKE you get vaxs!" I would calmly reply (w/ a smile) "And I'll make certain you'll lose your license for that blatant HIPAA violation."

I spoke w/ public health on our base about vaccinations once - inquiring (anonymously, of course) how not vaccinating would effect us if we recieved orders overseas... the girl couldn't understand why I was asking. She said, "you're talking about dependents, right? If you have a valid exemption, that's fine. That won't effect your orders at all, unless that country has entry requirements. We can't make dependents vaccinate, especially if its for religious reasons."

When we told our dr we weren't vaxing, we were asked why. I stated that we had done our research and were confident in our decision (In the future, I'll just state that it's "a decision we came to after much prayer."). Our doc offered us some websites (the cdc and aap) and we said thank you and left. At the end of each visit since, she's asked "Is there ... anything ... else we can do for you today?" "No, we're great! Thanks so much!" The actual subject of shots has only come up once, when a new technician was unable to locate ds's shot records and asked if I had them with me. I calmly replied that he didn't have any records, as he had no shots... which flustered her, but she smiled and said "OH! Ok". LOL

We'll see how it goes at the next MTF.
 

bobandjess99

Senior Community Member
I HIGHLY recommend not getting into your reasoning with the doctor.
"it is against our religious beliefs" is really the only thing to say. Depending on the state you live in, and especially with the military involved, that is the ONLY way to avoid harassment. State "it is against my religious beliefs" and if pressured say "my religious beliefs are not up for discussion, thank you".

One of the potential problems for getting into ANY type of scientific or medical reasoning, is that your exemption could actually be jeopardized. In states which have ONLY a religious exemption, if you start getting into medical/scientific/philosophical reason why you don't want to vax, then your religious exemption could be turned down on the grounds that your reasons for not vaxxing aren't truly religious. This is only the case in certain states, New York and New Jersey being 2 of the most notable, but regardless, there is no downside to using religious beliefs. It is the one thing you cant be harassed about, the one thing all states but 2 must accept. PLUS...the doc can't argue woth you on your religious beliefs. If you start blabbering about toxicity, aluminum, formeldahyde, reactions, the body's natural immune system, etc..you are giving him/her something to argue with....and, unless you are a REALLY educated person in the areas of immunology/virology/biology, etc, and VERY knowledgeable about what you are saying, chances are the doc will be able to win hands down in a verbal sparring session about vaccines. Don't argue. "against my religious beliefs"

In public at least, the only thing you should say is that they are against your religious beliefs. To the docs, to the military people, to the school officials. Against my religious beliefs.
 

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