Does special needs play into...

lil.miss32 · Jul 4, 2011

When you will turn your children from RF to FF? My son is 3 (tomorrow

) and is autistic with MAJOR meltdowns (quite often). He FREAKS OUT about FF, says it's not right, he doesn't like it, and he wants HIS carseat. Even RF, he has numerous meltdowns, which involve throwing toys, blankets, shoes, cups, etc. I *really* am not comfortable with him FF, but he IS 3 and he IS 40lbs. Also, I watch a little girl and to have a 3across in my car, I have to have one seat FF. Him being the oldest, it has to be him, but obviously that doesn't work.

Sorry if this got rambly, some of it is a vent, and some is question.

Jocey'sMommy · Jul 4, 2011

Jocelynn was a preemie . . . its not really SNs but I know that mattered to me when I finally turned her FFing . . . If he is having more issues with FFing than RFing I would take that into consideration, yes, obviously you can't RF him for forever but if you can make it work for as long as humanly possible, why not accommodate him?? As for other children in your car . . . that's a tough call . . . I would ask the questions : how old? how does s/he ride normally? is your DS having a good day or bad day? and weigh the pro/cons and safety significance for the children.

If you are watching another child who is 3 or almost 3 and she usually rides FFing and your DS is NOT having a good day and you KNOW that he would not be able to sit FF without screaming and being upset the entire car ride . . . I would def put him RFing and her FF

if she was just turned 2 or under I was FF him and deal with it for the 15 min car ride because the safety difference would be significant enough for her and not him

hope this helps???

lil.miss32 · Jul 4, 2011

Thanks

Those are things I think about a LOT. The little girl I watch is only 15 months, and 15lbs. So nowhere NEAR FF'ing abilities. My own daughter is 17months and 20lbs, so also not going to work. He has a Multi-Tech, so another 15lbs to go before HAVING to FF.

I guess... idk, it's just so frustrating when I catch SO MUCH flack from everybody. He's 3 AND he's a big kid. Part of me says just FF him so I don't have to deal with the hassle, but that comes with its OWN hassle. LOL

gsdguenter · Jul 5, 2011

I absolutely think this is a reason to keep him rfing. The three across situation is tough since the other two LOs are not able to ff. How often does the three across happen?

What seats besides the MT are you working with? I wonder if you added a RN or two in the mix if you could get 3 rf across?

I think part of the decision to ff is making sure everyone in the car is safe, and if him ff makes it more likely he will throw things that could hit you while driving, than I think he should stay rf, IMHO.

Sent from my iPhone using Car-Seat.Org

3acorns4Christy · Jul 5, 2011

My son, Aspergers, was RF in our truck until he was nearly 5. He had always been RF in there and apparently needed to always be RF in there. Everytime we tried a FF seat he would flip out, so we kept him RF until he no longer fit. What is strange is it was only the truck, in the car he had been FF since he was 3.5 and no problems with it.

My DD and her SN, it will absolulty play into every carseat decision we make for her. Her head is larger then her body and has quite of her body weight in it. So along with being super small that plays a big role into her seat choices. She will also be RF until roughly 5. That will kind of play around how she is feeling with herself too, if she feels it makes her a baby at 5 then we will consider FF, but if she's fine we're fine. Same with a harnessed seat for her and then years from now a booster. It will come down to safety first but then how comfortable she is with the choices.

With my son, and if my new son grows on the average curve, personal preference will not be as tied with safety. But Pia will likely be in all these seats way longer then normal, even for zealots on here (not said in a bad way at all).

henrietta · Jul 5, 2011

lil.miss32 said:
Thanks Those are things I think about a LOT. The little girl I watch is only 15 months, and 15lbs. So nowhere NEAR FF'ing abilities. My own daughter is 17months and 20lbs, so also not going to work. He has a Multi-Tech, so another 15lbs to go before HAVING to FF.

I guess... idk, it's just so frustrating when I catch SO MUCH flack from everybody. He's 3 AND he's a big kid. Part of me says just FF him so I don't have to deal with the hassle, but that comes with its OWN hassle. LOL

I can tell you that honestly, as he matures a bit, you will be able to explain things to him better and him understand it better.

That helps w/the fits A LOT. 2.5 to 3.5 was the hardest for us--we didn't yet have a dx for ds1 (high functioning autism). He "looked" like he should be able to "get it", but others didn't see what we saw in our family. He could speak well, but he didn't understand a lot of what was going on around him.

If it's possible to keep him rearfacing, even if you must buy a Radian to make the 3 across work, I would consider that. In another year, he may be more able to reason with.

As an aside, picture schedules and diet changes can work well for some kiddos to help get through those meltdowns.

GL!

henrietta

libranbutterfly · Jul 5, 2011

Since the other 2 shildren are smaller, a cheaper option would be to try a scenera for the child you are watching. That with your DDs XTSL and your multitech might work, but if not, would you son ride RF in the radian? 2 sceneras are cheaper than another radian, and would give him some time to remain RF until be is more comfortable. Just a thought.

lil.miss32 · Jul 5, 2011

gsdguenter said:
I absolutely think this is a reason to keep him rfing. The three across situation is tough since the other two LOs are not able to ff. How often does the three across happen?

What seats besides the MT are you working with? I wonder if you added a RN or two in the mix if you could get 3 rf across?

I think part of the decision to ff is making sure everyone in the car is safe, and if him ff makes it more likely he will throw things that could hit you while driving, than I think he should stay rf, IMHO.

Sent from my iPhone using Car-Seat.Org

I absolutely agree with you. FF him isn't safe, in that he WILL throw things, there's no getting around that. But I'm not able to get 3 RF. LOL

The 3across happens as little as I can help it

I watch the little girl several times a week, but I don't like going in public with all of them, as that means Bubba has to FF.

henrietta said:
I can tell you that honestly, as he matures a bit, you will be able to explain things to him better and him understand it better. That helps w/the fits A LOT. 2.5 to 3.5 was the hardest for us--we didn't yet have a dx for ds1 (high functioning autism). He "looked" like he should be able to "get it", but others didn't see what we saw in our family. He could speak well, but he didn't understand a lot of what was going on around him.

If it's possible to keep him rearfacing, even if you must buy a Radian to make the 3 across work, I would consider that. In another year, he may be more able to reason with.

As an aside, picture schedules and diet changes can work well for some kiddos to help get through those meltdowns.

GL!

henrietta

Thanks for the advice

We are working with picture schedules right now, but I'm struggling with some of it. He's also allergic to gluten, corn, soy and dairy so those are already out (my daughter and myself are, too). We don't let him have artificial dyes, and all of our produce is organic. Any suggestions beyond that are GREATLY appreciated!!

libranbutterfly said:
Since the other 2 shildren are smaller, a cheaper option would be to try a scenera for the child you are watching. That with your DDs XTSL and your multitech might work, but if not, would you son ride RF in the radian? 2 sceneras are cheaper than another radian, and would give him some time to remain RF until be is more comfortable. Just a thought.

Ok, the seats that I have:

2 Radian XTSL
1 Britax MultiTech
1 Graco MyRide
1 Evenflo Symphony (not 65)
1 Chicco KeyFit 30. (other little girl can fit in here, not sure about Auna).

I'm not sure if anybody remembers, but I've been trying to manage a 3 across since Auna was BORN, so if y'all can make it work, PLEASE do!! I need help!

gsdguenter · Jul 5, 2011

I might have missed it, but what car are you driving? I would think you have a good chance to get a three across with the seats you have, unless you have an unrulishly small car (yes, I just made that word up)

lovemybabies924 · Jul 5, 2011

RF xtsl, kf30 baseless, RF xtsl? Works in my car

(any order)

Sent from my iPod touch, sorry for any auto-correct typos!

lil.miss32 · Jul 5, 2011

I have a Mazda Tribute. I can't get them independently installed, in the 3across. And the way the seats are shaped (like bucket seats almost), they make the carseats lean pretty bad. I've tried Radian w/ locking clip, Radians with LATCH, the MyRide puzzling with the Radians, EVERYthing I can think of. Our LATCH bars cause some issues with installation, too. If we install with LATCH, we lose a good 2" of seat (even tho it's curved up), and if we install with seatbelt, the LATCH bars cause the seat to not sit correctly.

lil.miss32 · Jul 5, 2011

lovemybabies924 said:
RF xtsl, kf30 baseless, RF xtsl? Works in my car (any order)

Sent from my iPod touch, sorry for any auto-correct typos!

I don't know how to install the KF baseless? It doesn't feel safe when I try. LOL.

safeinthecar · Jul 5, 2011

Where are you located?

gsdguenter · Jul 5, 2011

safeinthecar said:
Where are you located?

If you look here to a tech near you I bet someone would be able to help you out

ElfJewel · Jul 5, 2011

Did you say if your son can sit in the Radian? We have done Radian/MyRide/Radian (all RF) and the MyRide puzzles right over the top of the Radians.

lil.miss32 · Jul 7, 2011

safeinthecar said:
Where are you located?

Fort Riley, KS

ElfJewel said:
Did you say if your son can sit in the Radian? We have done Radian/MyRide/Radian (all RF) and the MyRide puzzles right over the top of the Radians.

Maybe I'm doing something wrong? When I try that, the base of the MR doesn't even touch the actual seat of my car.
I'm sorry, yes he can sit in it. For another 5lbs. LOL

henrietta · Jul 8, 2011

Thanks for the advice We are working with picture schedules right now, but I'm struggling with some of it. He's also allergic to gluten, corn, soy and dairy so those are already out (my daughter and myself are, too). We don't let him have artificial dyes, and all of our produce is organic. Any suggestions beyond that are GREATLY appreciated!!

Oh my!!! You are doing better than we are in that dept then! LOL

We shouldn't be doing any gluten--really should be GF/CF, b/c I know it helps him. But we are MOSTLY GF. He pretty much chooses no dairy on his own. I also avoid gluten and dairy. Dyes are a problem for us as well, and we try to eat organic as much as possible. Amazing how many of us struggle w/this w/our autistic kiddos, isn't it?

I really need to take him back to the allergist..

Two other things that help us A LOT (they don't work for everyone, I know)--probably the turning point that I wish we'd tried a whole year earlier...DRUGS...yes, drugs. He's on Zoloft--a very low dose. Within ONE week, he was obviously feeling better (Less anxious, more outgoing, trying more new things, less reactive) and within TWO weeks he was telling us himself that he felt "happy" and "better". The months of daily sobbing ended then. And melatonin for sleep--he just has trouble getting settled down, no matter what. That has allowed him to fall asleep a lot easier and get the sleep he needs to cope. I was really afraid to try these things earlier on...but once we tried the melatonin and saw *that* improvement, I was more motivated to give the others a shot. We do fish oil supplements, probiotics, and usually a multi vitamin as well.

GL w/the three across--haven't had to do that much at all myself, so I'm not much real help there! LOL

henrietta

lil.miss32 · Jul 8, 2011

Today I let him have ONE!! fruitsnack, not even one pack, but 1 actual gummy. He turned into a MONSTER!! I usually am really good about his diet, but somedays I feel bad that he can't have this or that. Bad Mommy, no more sharing.

He takes Melatonin for sleep, and while it's helped TREMENDOUSLY with him falling asleep, he doesn't STAY asleep. He's only 3, so I don't quite feel comfortable with the actual medicine or anything right now, but something to keep in mind later.

Anybody have any ideas with the seats I have? As far as I remember, the closes techs were still a few hours from me.

Does special needs play into...

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