Talking to friends with unsafe car seats

I'm wondering how people handle this kind of situation:

You are dropping off at preschool and notice your friend's husband unloading his 3.5 yo DS from a high back booster. I don't even think the little guy is 40 lbs and he definitely isn't mature enough to sit properly the entire ride. It's really not my business, but ACK! I didn't say anything, and I'm not sure I will say anything, but it made me curious how (if) other people handle this situation.

Adele

cwesis said:

I'm wondering how people handle this kind of situation:

You are dropping off at preschool and notice your friend's husband unloading his 3.5 yo DS from a high back booster. I don't even think the little guy is 40 lbs and he definitely isn't mature enough to sit properly the entire ride. It's really not my business, but ACK! I didn't say anything, and I'm not sure I will say anything, but it made me curious how (if) other people handle this situation.

Adele

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In this case, I probably wouldn't say anything. In fact, I'd probably do a happy dance that he is IN a HB booster. - He doesn't have to be 40 lbs. to be in a HB.

It's not best practice, but it's "pretty good" practice. In fact, depending on his height, a HBB is probably what would be provided at many SK check events for him, as HWH seats are harder to come by.

I'd only suggest a harnessed seat if it came up in conversation that DS was getting out of his seat or they were planning a long car trip. Then I would mention a HWH seat as being safer for longer trips, especially if he might be sleeping in the car.

flipper68 said:

In this case, I probably wouldn't say anything. In fact, I'd probably do a happy dance that he is IN a HB booster. - He doesn't have to be 40 lbs. to be in a HB.

It's not best practice, but it's "pretty good" practice. In fact, depending on his height, a HBB is probably what would be provided at many SK check events for him, as HWH seats are harder to come by.

I'd only suggest a harnessed seat if it came up in conversation that DS was getting out of his seat or they were planning a long car trip. Then I would mention a HWH seat as being safer for longer trips, especially if he might be sleeping in the car.

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Ditto the bolded. My brother and SIL have both their 6 year old and 3 year old in high back boosters (though weight is not an issue with either child as they are on the chunky side). And I have a very good friend whose 4 year old is in a HBB...and she's ptobably just under 40 pounds (but she's been in the HBB for almost a year and a half now). While it makes me sad...and I pray for their safety...I keep my lips sealed because they are doing what works for them...whether it is the safest or not.

I agree... I'd be happy he's in a seat that he meets the minimums for and I'd be thrilled if it was used properly... it's not ideal, but so much in life is not.

I disagree somewhat. Since it is a friend I would say something. They can then take my advice or leave it but at least they know. I would want my friend to tell me if something I was doing with my children was dangerous.

For a stranger I would let it go as pps said.

flipper68 said:

IIt's not best practice, but it's "pretty good" practice. In fact, depending on his height, a HBB is probably what would be provided at many SK check events for him, as HWH seats are harder to come by.

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OP said she doesn't think the child is 40 lbs, though. In my state, that would be illegal, and the child would probably still fit in a Scenera (and almost certainly in a Maestro).

If I had reason to believe that the child was not complying with the law, I would approach the friend with an "I'd hate to see you get a ticket" approach and offer to help find a good deal on an appropriately fitting seat.

It's tougher if it's only a "best practices" issue, though. In that case I probably wouldn't see anything unless I had a chance to observe that the seat was not being used correctly. As in, "I notice your daughter keeps playing with her seat belt and pulling it away from herself. The booster and belt would be completely useless to her in an accident. Children her age are generally much safer in harnessed car seats." And then, again, offer to help shop, locate, or (if possible) even loan/give them a seat.