Vent I just don't understand the logic

AtownMom

New member
So an acquaintance of mine posted the other day a picture of her 2.5 yo in a convertible RF on FB the other day with a caption that read something like this. "We only have one carseat in dh's car, and I was being lazy, so rear facing she went!".

She doesn't normally RF her daughter even though our friend and I have repeatedly made comments about how it's safer and we both ERF our kids.

So I posted something like, "It's actually safer to keep them RF until they limits of the seat, or 4 yo whichever comes first."

To which she replies, "I know"

So here's what I don't understand. If you know something is safer for your children, why not do it? To me it's similar logic to say, "I know going in the basement when there's a tornado is safest, but we're going to all stay on the roof instead." I just don't get it.

I'm not perfect, and I'm constantly learning. But if I learn that there is a better or safer way to do something, especially if it's statistically proven, or just plain makes common sense, then I do my best to learn and do better. If you know something is safer, why would you purposely and logically choose to NOT do it? I just don't get it. :confused:
 
ADS

mommycat

Well-known member
It's a sad reality of life that humans in general just aren't logical. At all. :shrug: I run into this sort of "I know it's safer but that's not going to happen to us and I am not willing to change" mentality all the time.
 

vonfirmath

New member
So I posted something like, "It's actually safer to keep them RF until they limits of the seat, or 4 yo whichever comes first."

To which she replies, "I know"

1) She probably meant "I've heard your lecture before you don't need to get into it again" *wry*

2) She can know it is SAFER to keep RF but it is SAFE ENOUGH for her FF and she has other reasons to do that. But because she knows this is your issue she's not going to get into it with you.

Humans beings make safe enough decisions everyday. And different people have different points of what is safe enough for them.

For example: healthy food. I know that the way we purchase/eat is not THE BEST. But it is good enough for me and I know I'm not going to change (at this point) no matter what others who are passionate about this say. So I do my best to avoid the discussions.
 
It really is nonsense.

I used to (until very recently) be flabbergasted when people say things like that, now I just give them the info and :shrug-shoulders: when they get all :akimbo:. It is frustrating, since I have known better and have been (trying!) to spread the word I have heard some very silly things, typically...

"Ha ha, I rode in the bed of my Dad's pick-up truck from 3 until I got my own car, and I am okay." I wonder how many fatal accidents these people have lived through?

"Well, I put all my children in boosters at 3 yo." To which I say, "And..."

And my favorite...
"Eventually you can't put bigger kids (children 5+ yrs) in car seats because it could hurt them."

I am not surprised anymore. When talking reasonably to people like that, information seems to be blocked by their egos that guard the gates of logic.

Thank god everyone doesn't have that mentality...we would still be in the stone age.8-0
 

Stelvis

New member
Yeah, my neighbor has her 16 month old FFing and has since 12 months, because it's "just easier" and apparently he was "fighting her" when he put her in the seat. But she KNOWS that RF til 2 is safer. She says "it terrifies me but I'm doing it anyway." And she has two nice Boulevards that would hold him for a long, long time. Sigh.
 
1) She probably meant "I've heard your lecture before you don't need to get into it again" *wry*

2) She can know it is SAFER to keep RF but it is SAFE ENOUGH for her FF and she has other reasons to do that. But because she knows this is your issue she's not going to get into it with you.

Humans beings make safe enough decisions everyday. And different people have different points of what is safe enough for them.

For example: healthy food. I know that the way we purchase/eat is not THE BEST. But it is good enough for me and I know I'm not going to change (at this point) no matter what others who are passionate about this say. So I do my best to avoid the discussions.

Thank you for this. The healthy food analogy really helps me understand other people's disinterest in RF their child beyond a certain point. My sister is VERY controlling about what her children eat - only organic at home, no dyes, etc when they are out of the house (there are no allergy issues--this is just what she thinks is healthiest, thus, safest, for them). I know she takes issue with the fact that I don't buy much organic stuff b/c I can't bring myself to pay that much more money for an apple or a bag of chips. I don't buy things with dyes in them or HFCS, but I won't buy organic, either. It is very much a "this is healthy enough for us" attitude.
 

hrice

New member
I would have replied something like whether it's out of laziness or diligence she is safer RF and in the end that's all that matters!
 
Thank you for this. The healthy food analogy really helps me understand other people's disinterest in RF their child beyond a certain point. My sister is VERY controlling about what her children eat - only organic at home, no dyes, etc when they are out of the house (there are no allergy issues--this is just what she thinks is healthiest, thus, safest, for them). I know she takes issue with the fact that I don't buy much organic stuff b/c I can't bring myself to pay that much more money for an apple or a bag of chips. I don't buy things with dyes in them or HFCS, but I won't buy organic, either. It is very much a "this is healthy enough for us" attitude.

I totally get the healthy food analogy, but it still doesn't help me to understand why she doesn't RF when she knows better.

I don't think eating conventional food has ever greatly increased the probability of any fatalities--FF does. Apples and oranges to me! :rolleyes:
 

AtownMom

New member
1) She probably meant "I've heard your lecture before you don't need to get into it again" *wry*

2) She can know it is SAFER to keep RF but it is SAFE ENOUGH for her FF and she has other reasons to do that. But because she knows this is your issue she's not going to get into it with you.

Humans beings make safe enough decisions everyday. And different people have different points of what is safe enough for them.

For example: healthy food. I know that the way we purchase/eat is not THE BEST. But it is good enough for me and I know I'm not going to change (at this point) no matter what others who are passionate about this say. So I do my best to avoid the discussions.

Thanks for the healthy food analogy. I know that organic, grass fed, etc. is best, but we just can't afford it right now. We eat as 'close to nature' as we can, planting a garden to feed our own family and such, but if I were to pay organic prices for everything from the local natural living store we'd be living in a box. So although it doesn't change my own convictions, it does help me to be a little more understanding of her thought process. I still don't agree, but a little understanding goes along way :) Thanks for helping me to keep my attitude in check :2thumbsup:
 

jeminijad

New member
This is a hot button for you. To you, it seems crystal clear and very important. After all, there was that one study that showed how much safer it is between 1 and 2! And, they do it in Sweden!

She might have different buttons, which in her mind are every bit as compelling as rear facing is for you. Maybe she even has studies on tap proving why.

Don't get me wrong, I'm on this site too :cool: I just try and understand where other parents are coming from, and only occasionally get riled up when I see really, really atrocious usage.
 

HKP1042

New member
This is a hot button for you. To you, it seems crystal clear and very important. After all, there was that one study that showed how much safer it is between 1 and 2! And, they do it in Sweden!

She might have different buttons, which in her mind are every bit as compelling as rear facing is for you. Maybe she even has studies on tap proving why.

Don't get me wrong, I'm on this site too :cool: I just try and understand where other parents are coming from, and only occasionally get riled up when I see really, really atrocious usage.

I completely agree I think every parent has their own hot button issues that they have a hard time seeing the other side of. Car safety is yours. Compared to things I have seen the fact that they use a carseat at all is impressive and a step up from what some parents do.
 

Pixels

New member
I totally get the healthy food analogy, but it still doesn't help me to understand why she doesn't RF when she knows better.

I don't think eating conventional food has ever greatly increased the probability of any fatalities--FF does. Apples and oranges to me! :rolleyes:

Considering that heart disease and stroke are the leading cause of death overall, and healthy eating habits are established in childhood, one could make the argument that it's more important to feed your children a healthy diet than it is to rear face them past the minimums. Healthy food => better overall health and better cardiovascular health => reduced risk of death from stroke or coronary artery disease.
 

actuallyamanda

New member
I dont understand it either. They might as well just say, "I know its safer but I really dont care."

Its just common sense to me to protect my children as much as possible.
 
Thanks for the healthy food analogy. I know that organic, grass fed, etc. is best, but we just can't afford it right now. We eat as 'close to nature' as we can, planting a garden to feed our own family and such, but if I were to pay organic prices for everything from the local natural living store we'd be living in a box. So although it doesn't change my own convictions, it does help me to be a little more understanding of her thought process.

Considering that heart disease and stroke are the leading cause of death overall, and healthy eating habits are established in childhood, one could make the argument that it's more important to feed your children a healthy diet than it is to rear face them past the minimums. Healthy food => better overall health and better cardiovascular health => reduced risk of death from stroke or coronary artery disease.

I was not referring to just "healthy eating habits," I was talking about the conventional vs. organic food analogy--and how choosing one over the other could not possibly be as life-threatening as the threat of serious bodily injury or death. Even if we were to go there and talk about such things as the risk of heart disease...bad eating habits (not eating "healthy") can be corrected with some effort and a good nutritionist. However, healing a severely injured young child would not be such an easy fix.

Just needed to clarify ;)
 

AnnaC

New member
Here's my thing though. I get that everyone has different things they're passionate about. Everyone assigns personal levels of importance to different things. One person might be really particular about cutting their child's food into tiny pieces before they eat it. Another person might want a life jacket on their child in the bathtub.



But auto accidents are the NUMBER ONE cause of child death in the US. NUMBER ONE. I'm sorry, but no matter what you may or may not be interested in, every single parent should be interested in helping their child avoid the number one cause of child death. :twocents:
 

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