Vent DS1 unbuckled on a main road!!!!!!

purplemama

New member
He's 12!! He SHOULD know better!! I'm freaking livid. DH took him to school this morning because he had a model he'd made for art class and things on the bus get crazy. They were on a very busy main road (2 lane) waiting to turn left onto the road to school. This road is nuts,it should be 2 lanes with a turn lane in the middle minimum but it's not yet (some areas are but they're redoing it little by little). Anyway there are cars coming at them in the other lane at 55-65 mph (never mind it's a school zone:rolleyes:) and cars going around them on the right dirt shoulder at full speed (55-65 mph). DH hears a click. Asks DS1 what was that. "I unbuckled because we're almost there." So DH chewed him out and called me later to tell me. Good darn thing he won't be home for a coulple hours so I can calm down.
The funny thing about this is he still freaks out about driving through where the accident him, DH, and DS2 were in a few years ago. Always begs us to take a different way. Never wants to be on the freeway because it's too fast and dangerous. Freaks out when some one else on the road is doing something stupid.
GAH. I don't even know what to say to him. Stupid kid!!!!!!
 
ADS

Qarin

New member
Start with, "I hear you made a very big mistake in the car, just before you got to school. Can you tell me about it from your point of view?" and perhaps prompt him to work through what could have happened, what the other cars in the area were doing, what mistakes could have happened with the driving- if he's not coming to realizing it, remind him of a time he pointed out another driver doing something dangerous (passing across a double yellow? left turn with not enough space? really, any example that he might remember having pointed out to you). Let him come around to realizing what a dangerous thing it was that he did. Let him know that hearing about it scared you, but don't call him stupid (if he has the space to work through the potential consequences, he'll likely call himself stupid to himself- he doesn't need anyone else saying it).
 

purplemama

New member
Start with, "I hear you made a very big mistake in the car, just before you got to school. Can you tell me about it from your point of view?" and perhaps prompt him to work through what could have happened, what the other cars in the area were doing, what mistakes could have happened with the driving- if he's not coming to realizing it, remind him of a time he pointed out another driver doing something dangerous (passing across a double yellow? left turn with not enough space? really, any example that he might remember having pointed out to you). Let him come around to realizing what a dangerous thing it was that he did. Let him know that hearing about it scared you, but don't call him stupid (if he has the space to work through the potential consequences, he'll likely call himself stupid to himself- he doesn't need anyone else saying it).

Great advice on what to say!!! Don't worry, I won't call him stupid. He has enough self esteem issues without me adding to it.
 

BookMama

Senior Community Member
Honestly, if he doesn't usually unbuckle and your DH already reamed him out, I'd just give him a calm but firm reminder.

Sent from my iPhone using Car-Seat.Org
 

andre149

New member
I would talk to him about it... but he's old enough that I would let him come to some of his own conclusions. Ask him why he did it, ask him if he's aware of what could have happened, and if he doesn't seem to "get it" I would pull out crash test videos on youtube for a 12 year old. Beyond that, I would just hope he never does it again, and if he does then I would bring out the "punishment". It sounds like he's going to be able to figure this out on his own with some prompting/talking about it with you.

How scary for you and dh though!
 

Kat_Momof3

New member
I think it sounds like your dad handled it.

I'd just approach him more on the why it's wrong, what could happen, and remind him how scary the accident before was, and how that could happen in that "almost there" time.

He's gotten the appropriate anger, now he needs the teaching.
 

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