Would you force someone esle's kid to rf?

linneabw · May 5, 2011

We're taking a 2 hour car trip (one-way) with some friends who also have a two year old (just turned) and she's maybe 23 pounds, 25 at most. She's been forward facing since 1. They know we erf our son (who is a month older than their dd, and 10 pounds heavier!).

We are driving our vehicle and using our seat (easier), would you make their child rear face? Would you ask them? Or just forward face the child?

I don't want to seem "holier than thou" and basically say what they do is wrong, but I'd feel terrible if we were in an accident and she was seriously injured. She'll be in the back of our van.

What do I do?

melniemi · May 5, 2011

I would probably have the seat installed rearfacing but if they whine about it too much, flip it around.

Aurezalia · May 5, 2011

If they're in my car and I'm driving, I have the liability, so they follow my rules. Period, or they don't drive with me. :shrug-shoulders:

carseatcoach · May 5, 2011

What seat are you using? If it's a Dorel seat, I would "force" rear-facing because she probably does not meet the minimums to forward-face.

Otherwise, I'd do as PP suggested and install the seat rear-facing, but switch to tethered forward-facing if parents insist.

hrice · May 5, 2011

I would have the seat installed RF. None of my friends would put up a fight about it. My 3 yr old niece has been FF since one in her parent's cars but rides RF with me and my MIL (yes, she's awesome!)

Angela · May 5, 2011

Aurezalia said:
If they're in my car and I'm driving, I have the liability, so they follow my rules. Period, or they don't drive with me. :shrug-shoulders:

:yeahthat: Especially if it's your seat too.

linneabw · May 5, 2011

I'm just not one to "rock the boat" and I don't want to make them mad or offend them. We've talked about me rearfacing my son and she's like, "oh, you're such a good mom" but then doesn't do the same for her kid??

Has anyone had an experience with the parent wanting it switched?

If it was just the daughter riding with us, I'd rf her in a heartbeat, but since the parents will be with, I'm hesitant. I know dh would just say let her ff.

cmm7 · May 5, 2011

Yeah, I would just install it RFing and not make a big deal out of it. This is what I do when in these situations and have had no one ever even question me.

Brianna · May 5, 2011

My car, my rules. No way would I FF before 30 pounds, and I would flat out tell my friend that. I would continue on about how I wouldn't be able to live with my decision if there were a crash and I could have done something that would have lessened injury to the child.

TerisBoys · May 5, 2011

I agree - have the seat installed RF. You can always use "It fits best that way" if they question it. And/or turn it if they throw a big stink.

mama2girls · May 5, 2011

What seat are you using? If it's something that installs easier RF you could tell her that's the reason. Or that it's more reclined so they can fall asleep. Or you thought the kids would both like to face the same way. If she already knows you ERF I can't imagine she'll be very surprised by whatever you do.

linneabw · May 5, 2011

I can use either the true fit or the RA50, in my '06 grand caravan. I've never actually installed the tf rfing in the van, only ff once for my 4 yo nephew. I'd prefer that seat because it's not installed in a vehicle right now as I plan to sell it.

carseatcoach · May 5, 2011

briheartzu said:
My car, my rules. No way would I FF before 30 pounds

As long as the child meets the seat minimums, age matters FAR FAR more than weight. A 2yo -- even a tiny one -- FFing is not ideal, but it is not misuse either.

mommyfrog · May 5, 2011

I was just thinking about this when I had insomnia last night!! We are going somewhere this summer and my SIL and/or some of her kids will probably ride in our van (that we have yet to buy!!). One of them is 2yo and will be 6yo. I came to the conclusion that I would just have some of my seats already installed for whoever will be riding with us. Harnessed for the 6yo and rf for the 2yo. That's how they would be if they were my kids so that's what I'll do. IF my SIL threw a big fit, I'd let her do what she wants but I can't forsee that happening.

lovemybabies924 · May 5, 2011

I would us the TF and just say it's easier to adjust the harness height RF

saves time haha

Sent from my iPod touch using Car-Seat.Org

cryswilkins · May 5, 2011

I would install the seat RF and just reinstall it if they made a fuss about it. She knows its safer, but probably is worried about turning her DS back RF. I have found with a lot of parents that its not that they don't WANT whats safer, its that they think once they have been FF there is no going back.

Lemonade · May 5, 2011

I think it is your car and your right to decide but if you are firm on RF her, just tell the parents sooner than later. If they are truly not happy about it, they can make other arrangements. Because while it is your car and your rules, it's also their child and ultimately their choice, IYKWIM.

Personally I'd allow a kid over 24m to FF in my car but I turned DD at that age so take that with a grain of salt

safeinthecar · May 5, 2011

Put it in rfing and buy a box of chocolates. Then if she questions why you put it rfing shrug and say

"I guess it's just a habit, but lets leave it that way for now. I have a big box of chocolates and if the kids can't see it, we don't have to share."

jenfrogmom · May 5, 2011

SignCuer · May 5, 2011

Yes, like Aure said, my car, my rules... It's on my head if something happens.

Would you force someone esle's kid to rf?

New member

New member

Well-known member

Carseat Crankypants

New member

New member

New member

New member

New member

Well-known member

New member

New member

Carseat Crankypants

Active member

New member

New member

New member

Moderator - CPS Technician

New member

New member

Car-Seat.Org Facebook Group

Sponsors

Forum statistics