Unwavering DH

tarynsmum · May 20, 2007

Well, first off, let me just say that I love my DH, and he really is a great guy and a great dad. That being said, he's pig-headed. Very, very stubborn (bad when you gt us against each other

)

He refuses to wear a seat-belt. Ever. We were watching the news tonight, and there was a story about stricter belt laws nationwide, to which I gave a :thumbsup: and he had a living fit

. I paused for a minute (to lt him have his hissy fit), and then I said something to the effect that, "I don't care what you do, but when you're in the car with DD, I want you to wear your seat-belt so that you are a good influence." He flat refused, and said that he would explain to DD not to follow Daddy's example

Uh huh, yeah. I answered that I don't want DD to think it's OK not to wear a seat belt, to which he answered that it would be an option for her too (direct quote here, ya'll. It happened about 10 minutes ago)

I really have no idea what to do. Honestly, I've tried to get him to wear a seatbelt for YEARS, to no avail. I have no idea what, besides a crash (God forbid) would make him change his mind, I really thought having DD would.

He also thinks me getting my CPS certification (less than 2 weeks!!!) is stupid

. The only way I 'made' it OK is that I said it would be my Mother's Day present.

What, oh what, do I do???

hsjwmom · May 20, 2007

I'm going to have to do some major searching, but I remember a foreign commercial about buckling up that shows what 1 unrestrained passenger did to the rest who were buckled up. It was graphic, but effective.

hsjwmom · May 20, 2007

Found it!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3392223921210425766&q=car+seats

mommycat · May 20, 2007

I was thinking this same thing (well, not about the video because I didn't know one exists). But I think not wearing a seatbelt is totally selfish if there are other people in the car. I don't care what happens to the person who chooses to be an idiot (sorry, my opinion) but I do care that if we are in an accident they will be flying around injuring or possibly killing me and my kids. No way is anyone going in my car unrestrained. He should buckle up if he cares at all for YOUR safety.

tarynsmum · May 20, 2007

I asked him if he wanted me to show him crash tests and he said no...

When he was in high school, his friend was in an accident and thrown from the vehicle, and the EMT apparently said it "saved his life", that had he been wearing it he would have died... (not sure the validity of the statement, but whatever). DH has never worn a seat belt since (since it supposedly benfitted one, it's of course going to benefit all, right?

)

Lys · May 20, 2007

tarynsmum said:
I asked him if he wanted me to show him crash tests and he said no...

When he was in high school, his friend was in an accident and thrown from the vehicle, and the EMT apparently said it "saved his life", that had he been wearing it he would have died... (not sure the validity of the statement, but whatever). DH has never worn a seat belt since (since it supposedly benfitted one, it's of course going to benefit all, right? )

My sister is just like this and it drives me crazy.
WHen she came to visit this past Christmas and we went shopping in my car I told her to buckle up she refused. I stopped the car and said my car my rules and she poo pooed me. The only reason she FINALLY buckled up is my Honda ding for the seat belt doesn't stop until you buckle up! SHe couldn't stand hearing it!
But, she still doesn't wear her seatbelt in her car.

Namegirl · May 20, 2007

How much does he weigh? If he weighs 180 pounds and you get into a crash at 30 miles per hour, then he becomes a projectile of 5400 pounds of force. Would he mind someone swinging a 5400 pound wrecking ball at you or at your daughter?

However, since he won't watch videos, it sounds like he doesn't WANT to be educated.

hsjwmom · May 20, 2007

mommycat said:
I think not wearing a seatbelt is totally selfish if there are other people in the car. I don't care what happens to the person who chooses to be an idiot (sorry, my opinion) but I do care that if we are in an accident they will be flying around injuring or possibly killing me and my kids. No way is anyone going in my car unrestrained. He should buckle up if he cares at all for YOUR safety.

:yeahthat:

I'm afraid this would be a MAJOR issue with me. I would refuse to ride with a person who wouldn't buckle up. Or not let them ride with ME.

TxMomma · May 20, 2007

Re: Found it!

msbeltran said:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3392223921210425766&q=car+seats

Here it is in English http://www.mojoflix.com/Video/Wear-Your-Seat-Belt.html

southpawboston · May 20, 2007

wow. i'm a rather pigheaded guy myself, and even i can't believe how stubborn he is being...

at the very least he should buckle up when your child is in the car to set an example. is he this way (unwavering stubbornness) with a lot of things? i wonder how much of it is genuine belief versus simply control issues? is there any way you could strike a deal? is there anything you do that he can't stand?

TxMomma · May 20, 2007

msbeltran said:
:yeahthat:

I'm afraid this would be a MAJOR issue with me. I would refuse to ride with a person who wouldn't buckle up. Or not let them ride with ME.

:yeahthat: I will not put the car into drive until EVERYONE is buckled up! My car, my rules if you don't like it then don't ride with me! I wouldn't ride in someone elses car if they didn't buckle up either.

ThreeBeans · May 20, 2007

I would not allow him to drive DD, and I would not allow him to drive in the car with DD and me unless he buckles his seatbelt. Period. I would be so infuriated. His selfishness could kill his child. You must be livid.

Laurenc0101 · May 20, 2007

Wow, that video is pretty eye-opening. I live in LA and law requires all occupants under 13 to be restrained. It also requires that all front seat passengers be restrained regardless of age. So if someone refuses to buckle their seatbelt, I could get a ticket (and that is not going to happen)! No seatbelt, you don't ride with me. With that being said, I was involved in two accidents (one in my teenage days, low speed and the one time I wasn't wearing a seatbelt and one in my young adult days moderate speed w/ seatbelt that resulted in a roll-over). The second one was much more severe and I had fewer injuries (in fact my injury was from my manual transmission shifter). The second accident just cemented in my head the importance of passenger safety and that is where my advocacy comes from these days. I have heard of one rare situation where not wearing a seatbelt benefited someone, but I have heard of many more where the result was tradgic (lost a friend because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt). I hope dh comes around and will wear his seatbelt all the time for your safety and his!

tjham · May 21, 2007

Here's another one, in case he changes his mind.
Imagine if there had been a child in a carseat in the back when this happened.
Sorry your husband is being like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42e_0pzcLkw

Judi · May 21, 2007

Yeah, he died in the crash. Head crushed. He had stolen the car.

InTheWoods · May 21, 2007

See if the dealer can rig the car so it won't shift into gear if seat belts aren't secured (in seats with a sensor for an occupant).

Call your auto insurance agency and see if rates are higher for those who refuse to buckle up. Essentially, stick it to him where it hurts -- his wallet.

Make a sticker chart for him (just like a toddler) and for every 3(?)X he wears his seatbelt, he gets a BJ. (Essentially, stick it to him where it feels good -- his uh, you know.)

Have a cop friend? Arrange for your DH to get a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt. That raises insurance rates right there.

Buy him a pig mask and make him wear it in the car unless he buckles up.

Kristin

snowbird25ca · May 21, 2007

I have a good friend who last fall witnessed a driver lose control on a wet road and hit a pole. She SAW him fly through the windshield of his car.

Needless to say, it left a very strong impression on her.

And he was pronounced dead at the scene.

Honestly, if you don't buckle up, you don't ride in my car. Period. I'm not willing to have a human projectile in my vehicle.

I understand denial, but these comments from your dh sound like just plain stupidity. (Sorry for the harshness.) It's one thing to not care about himself in an accident and to truly believe he'd be better off - but how can he not care about his passengers? Does he think it'd be better for your dd's car seat to not be buckled in so that it could be thrown from the car in an accident? Does he really see the whole being thrown from a car in any accident as a good thing?

For every 1 accident where wearing a seatbelt truly causes a person to die, there are 100's more where not wearing a seatbelt causes somebody to die. He's playing the wrong side of the odds if he's a gambling man...:thumbsdown:

InTheWoods said:
See if the dealer can rig the car so it won't shift into gear if seat belts aren't secured (in seats with a sensor for an occupant).

Call your auto insurance agency and see if rates are higher for those who refuse to buckle up. Essentially, stick it to him where it hurts -- his wallet.

Make a sticker chart for him (just like a toddler) and for every 3(?)X he wears his seatbelt, he gets a BJ. (Essentially, stick it to him where it feels good -- his uh, you know.)

Have a cop friend? Arrange for your DH to get a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt. That raises insurance rates right there.

Buy him a pig mask and make him wear it in the car unless he buckles up.

Kristin

:ROTFLMAO: I know you were being semi-serious, but omg, that just made me LOL.

InTheWoods · May 21, 2007

Yeah, semi-serious. But, you know, pig-headed guys call for desperate (or equally pig-headed) measures.

Another idea: Heather, you get behind the wheel blindfolded, DH rides front passenger unbelted. He gives your verbal driving directions and you tell him to hold on in case of accident. If he's so sure riding w/o a seatbelt is harmless, why not? :evil grin:

Kind of tempting, huh? Really, what an idiot he is. What's his life-insurance policy like? He needs a good one, that's for sure. Ask him which one of his friends (or walking down the street, which guy(s)) would be a good second husband for you. Just so you're prepared in case anything happens.

Kristin

skaterbabs · May 21, 2007

msbeltran said:
:yeahthat:

I'm afraid this would be a MAJOR issue with me. I would refuse to ride with a person who wouldn't buckle up. Or not let them ride with ME.

Me too. You (general you) will not endanger my life, my children's lives or my family's mental health because you want to be an ass.

A very dear friend of mine very nearly became a widow in September '05 because her dh wasn't wearing a seatbelt. He has permanent brain damage, and lost one arm. Their babies were 3 and 5 at the time.

joolsplus3 · May 21, 2007

tarynsmum said:
I asked him if he wanted me to show him crash tests and he said no...

When he was in high school, his friend was in an accident and thrown from the vehicle, and the EMT apparently said it "saved his life", that had he been wearing it he would have died... (not sure the validity of the statement, but whatever). DH has never worn a seat belt since (since it supposedly benfitted one, it's of course going to benefit all, right? )

(((HUGS)))

"Honey, that's fine, it's your choice not to wear a seatbelt. However, it's my choice to never get in the car with you or allow our child(ren) in the car with you. Period." (no matter how inconvenient this may be, it's less inconvenient than his unrestrained body injuring itself or you, right?)

(Maybe when you learn in your cpst class that the MAIN lifesaving feature of a seatbelt is to keep people in the car, you'll be able to find a way to tell him that so he can understand, but if it's a control issue he's having, that won't help...all you can do is choose not to get in the car with him..you have to fight control with control...)

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