Vent Must.Keep.Blinders.On

kaleigh71 · Apr 2, 2011

I drove home from GA with the kids this morning and aside from the kids at the gas station who were a bit less safe than they could have been, I only saw one thing that made my blood boil.

I-75, average speed above 70mph, a little sub-compact car with the rear window rolled 3/4 of the way down and a little boy, couldn't have been more than about 18months old, hanging his arms out the window. Unrestrained. At all. Nothing. Behind an 18-wheeler.

It made me sick. I wanted to call someone but the speeds and traffic on the highway kept me from doing so and putting my own kids in danger by trying to make the call.

Little Ps Mama · Apr 2, 2011

How can some parents be so irresponsible and reckless? I swear there should be a screening process before people can procreate.

T4K · Apr 2, 2011

Little Ps Mama said:
How can some parents be so irresponsible and reckless? I swear there should be a screening process before people can procreate.

Well you have to fill out an application to even get a friggin library card...it's amazing how much trouble it is to get certified or licensed for some things, but children? Have at it.

amelia222 · Apr 2, 2011

Ugh, today I walked around the grocery store just feeling sick because I was in too much of a rage/shock after talking to the mom getting into the car parked next to me to down the license plate. She had a teeny baby, said it was 7 months but looked more like 7 weeks, ff in an EFTA and 2 kids maybe 4-7ish with nothing, they didn't even have seatbelts on when she pulled away. I told her the baby really needed to be RF because it is the law, its on the stickers on the seat, its really unsafe, etc. But I could tell she didn't care she just smiled and got in the car

The only thing I can figure is that some people really just don't care at all. There is misuse that can be excused (sort of) by ignorance and then there is complete lack of effort.

cookie123 · Apr 3, 2011

I try not to look if I can help it these days. But yesterday at a stop lite the person next to me had a kiddo that could have been rf, but at least was ff with a snug harness and a chest height chest clip, so that was nice to see.

NatesMamma · Apr 3, 2011

I've been biting my tongue for weeks, but I'll jump on the bandwagon and vent.

The strangers are one thing, but it really gets my goat when my friends refuse to restrain their kids properly.

I don't get it! These are wonderful, educated women and great mothers who do their best to protect their children in almost every way. Except when it comes to riding in the car. Now, I love these ladies, and this isn't meant to be a personal attack. (I also love their kiddos, which is why I find it so hard to swallow.) Here's what I see all.the.friggin.time:

Mom A: FF one year old with harness straps hanging completely off his shoulders. Mom refuses to tighten the harness because, "He doesn't want it that way."

Moms B and C: FF one year olds. Dads are pediatricians.

Mom D: FF 11 month old. She and I are in the same moms' group, and I have posted a crap ton of info about CPS. She commented that she likes my message board posts because I always include informative links. :hitselfonhead:

Mom E: Thinks she'll *have* to turn her infant early because he'll want to ride FF like his brother. Who's only 14 months older. When I mentioned that the older kiddo (who isn't even 2 yet) could turn back around, she wouldn't consider it. "He wouldn't like that."

Mom F: *Wishes* she could keep her 1 year old RF, but, gosh darn it, she already purchased a FF-only seat. And, yes, she could totally afford a new seat if she wanted.

UGH! I so completely and totally don't get it. I'm not kidding when I say I can't wrap my brain around this. These mothers slather their kids in sunscreen and ridiculously huge hats for a 20 min jaunt to the playground, won't go anywhere without a bottle of hand sanitizer, and freak out if their babes get so much as a single bug bite, but then they halfass the car seats, happily toss their kids in, and zoom off down the highway.

wvmommy007 · Apr 3, 2011

NatesMamma said:
UGH! I so completely and totally don't get it. I'm not kidding when I say I can't wrap my brain around this. These mothers slather their kids in sunscreen and ridiculously huge hats for a 20 min jaunt to the playground, won't go anywhere without a bottle of hand sanitizer, and freak out if their babes get so much as a single bug bite, but then they halfass the car seats, happily toss their kids in, and zoom off down the highway.

THIS kills me too! I hate the mentality that children should be protected from every.single.possible.thing, except the #1 killer of children.

You might only feed your kid organic food, protect them from possible skin cancer with an inch of sunscreen, and get them active for a healthy body, but none of that will make them crashproof.

I won't post my vent on the public forums, for fear some of the hundreds of FB and "real life" people I have tried to lead here might finally come and see how dumb they are.

But it bugs me just the same.

mumof2 · Apr 3, 2011

a couple of months ago while I putting my children into their carseats the car next to me had 3 children it aged between 1-4 years.

I did not see one single carseat...then I saw the adult in the passenger seat hold onto the 1 year old and the drove out of hte car park!!!!!

I did end up reporting it not sure if anything came of it but I did all that I could do

henrietta · Apr 3, 2011

Natesmom and WVMommy,

These are many of my friends, too. It's sooo disheartening. At the very least, 3 of the 4 that I taught a few things to actually did change some things in their cars. Installs are better, straps are tighter, next baby will stay rearfacing longer, etc. But I have one who just doesn't get it. I reinstall her seats every time. I've even taught her hubby how to do it, and they still do a piss-poor job every time.

henrietta

Kat_Momof3 · Apr 3, 2011

Friday was hard for me... and so was tuesday... tuesday was "party hardy"... the 3rd and 4th grade PE dance performance... friday was the SOL prep night...

tuesday was far worse, as more younger siblings were there... but even taking them out of the equation, there were so many kids who needed boosters who were in nothing. But the worst was the taxi (which belongs to the dad that is a taxi driver) where there were no carseats... and Mom sat in back with the kids... holding the littlest on her lap while the older two jumped around as Dad pulled off... no one restrained at all.

Friday was just kids who need boosters (since Jeffrey is several inches taller than all his classmates), but still, it was all I could do to not keep looking.

Mommy2Marcus · Apr 3, 2011

I completely understand how you all feel. I have to keep from looking into my brothers car at all when I see him with his children. I have talked to him about properly restraining his children, but yet he will not & it breaks my heart to think of what might happen to them in a wreck. I really want to talk to him again since KQ's crash though.

He lets his 5 yo ride in the front seat in nothing & his 3yo rides in a backless booster.

hesgimenez · Apr 3, 2011

NatesMamma said:
I've been biting my tongue for weeks, but I'll jump on the bandwagon and vent.

The strangers are one thing, but it really gets my goat when my friends refuse to restrain their kids properly. I don't get it! These are wonderful, educated women and great mothers who do their best to protect their children in almost every way. Except when it comes to riding in the car. Now, I love these ladies, and this isn't meant to be a personal attack. (I also love their kiddos, which is why I find it so hard to swallow.)

I agree. It is so much worse when it is someone you know who is so concerned about other things but seriously lacking in carseat safety.

I have a friend with a just turned 6 year old-same height if not shorter than my DS and a good 10lbs less, he is very small for his age-he is has been in a booster seat for about a year. I'm thinking they made the switch when he turned five last year. Towards the end of last year she bought a booster seat for her equally tiny three year old because she didn't want to have to bother with the straps anymore

. WTH?!?!? Seriously he could easily be RFing still...but then he wouldn't be able to see the TV in the car

.

I was talking to her on the phone last week and she had to hang up to help get a friends son out of his Graco Nautilus (which I had suggested to said friend but I don't think she knows this)-and she was grumbling. Oh well. At four he should darn well still be in a 5pt harness.

eyeslkethesky5391 · Apr 3, 2011

NatesMamma said:
UGH! I so completely and totally don't get it. I'm not kidding when I say I can't wrap my brain around this. These mothers slather their kids in sunscreen and ridiculously huge hats for a 20 min jaunt to the playground, won't go anywhere without a bottle of hand sanitizer, and freak out if their babes get so much as a single bug bite, but then they halfass the car seats, happily toss their kids in, and zoom off down the highway.

Can I copy this and put it on FB

NatesMamma · Apr 4, 2011

eyeslkethesky5391 said:
Can I copy this and put it on FB

Feel free.

NatesMamma · Apr 4, 2011

OK, so I slammed some of my friends earlier in this thread. But today I seriously wanted to hug some other ones!!!

Kid and I were at a playdate with 3 moms with kids age 15 months - 19 months. Someone randomly mentioned car seats (and it shockingly wasn't me

). Two of the 3 moms still have their kids rear facing, and I *think* the other one will be open to it once she reads through the links I just emailed her.

::Happy Dance::

jeminijad · Apr 4, 2011

On a daily basis, I have to shut my mind to my nephew's seat situation.

The 3.5 year old rides in a backless- his firefighter father took the harness out of his Nautilus, but for unknown reasons, wouldn't even leave the back on! He is constantly pushing shoulder belt behind him... because it doesn't fricken FIT!

The just turned 1 year old is FF in a Cosco 5-pt whatever. Straps are reasonably tight...

... But both seats are tethered to the cargo hooks in their mom's Pathfinder. My BIL (the firefighter/EMT) offered to install my Avenue for DD when we were getting ready to go to the airport. No Thank You!

My DH's family is like blind to the existance of convertible carseats. They max out their buckets (22lb buckets) and go straight to the combination seats. I don't get it, really. I bought my other SIL an Avenue when they were so cheap- she didn't like it.

ninejr · Apr 4, 2011

Honestly I think people just don't think it will happen to them, they really truly think they are safe drivers and will never be in an accident. I was just talking to a friend the other day and she was saying something about how they can't get their car seats in tight enough, she is afraid that if they get pulled over they will get a ticket. It doesn't even occur to them that getting pulled over should be the least of their worries

I offered to help her get in touch with a tech, but she didn't want to

Mrs.Lee · Apr 4, 2011

I had a couple move in nextdoor a month or so ago...The wife/gf whatever she is is about my age,the guy about 30-ish. They have a 2yr old,3 yrs old and a noob who is about 3 weeks now. The 3 year old dosent even sit in a carseat! When I finally talked my bestie into a frontieer for her 3 year old, I gave her evenflo chase (newer model, and it was cute!) for the 3 year old daughter to use...yep, they put it in the other car-- for the 2 year old! Now they only have one working car, a 96ish mustdang.I watch them all go places in that car everyday, which means one child is not in a seatbelt at all! They won't hear any of it from me, and I am a bit afraid to make any reports bc they are SUPER shady, and I can't risk it with them being nextdoor

Kat_Momof3 · Apr 5, 2011

jeminijad said:
On a daily basis, I have to shut my mind to my nephew's seat situation.

The 3.5 year old rides in a backless- his firefighter father took the harness out of his Nautilus, but for unknown reasons, wouldn't even leave the back on! He is constantly pushing shoulder belt behind him... because it doesn't fricken FIT!

The just turned 1 year old is FF in a Cosco 5-pt whatever. Straps are reasonably tight...

... But both seats are tethered to the cargo hooks in their mom's Pathfinder. My BIL (the firefighter/EMT) offered to install my Avenue for DD when we were getting ready to go to the airport. No Thank You!

My DH's family is like blind to the existance of convertible carseats. They max out their buckets (22lb buckets) and go straight to the combination seats. I don't get it, really. I bought my other SIL an Avenue when they were so cheap- she didn't like it.

wow... I can't imagine buying a Nautilus just to take most of the seat away when the kiddo is only 3

sound's like your dh's family needs to have buckets that go to higher limits... that gets a lot of people more on board for rearfacing longer.

BudgieStew · Apr 5, 2011

Every morning I see a FF infant. This baby just turned a year but I first started to notice it she was around 7 months old.
They have her in a Touriva. I know it is a Touriva because of the cover as I had the same seat as a spare for my now 7 year old. I don't know when they stopped selling that seat with that cover but can only assume that if it is not expired it is darn close to it.
And baby is not a big baby so she could be RF in it still. I can only assume that she hit the limits of her infant seat and they got another seat and decided not to use RF, or was not aware that you could.

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