So tired of not being taken seriously

momof2kiddos

New member
So I had an interview today with a lady(28) looking for daycare for her 3 yr old son.

She happened to mention something about a carseat,so I informed her that I know a lot about seats and stuff if she needed help.So we get into a small talk about saftey and seats and I said,yes my kids are both rf(which tristan was ff because his radian was too big rf,but the fpsvd installs like a dream rf),and that I was hoping to make it to 3 with my son rf.She got this horrible look on her face and said "I don't recommend that",there isn't a lot of room for their legs at all and the carseat has no where to go in a crash",yeap that is what she said,lol.So I said,well I chat on a board with some techs and very informed parents and I have learned a lot,and I know it is safest for children to RF to the limit on the carseat,and that most children sit cross-legged and love it,I went on to tell her about the spine and all that good stuff and well she just kept making a face like um "you know nothing".

Then if you believe this she said well,all I know is children should be ff so they can see the dvd player!!I almost laughed out loud,but I had to hold composure.Then I went on to tell her that I am searching for a class to become a certified tech,she told me Why?I said to help parents learn more about the saftey of thier children in cars and hel save lives.She said oh don't waste your time the fire station does that.I explained that some firemen are not certified that do that,and she said oh yes they are,in a omg you are dumb kind of tone.Needless to say i kept my mouth shut and finished the interview and got the job.

But I wish I would of stood my ground more.That was just my first appraoch to someone I didn't know and it didn't go like I thought it would:rolleyes:

It seems everytime I have a coversation with anybody and I know I am right,they treat me like because I am 18 I know nothing...:( It makes me just want to scream,just because I am young,I am not dumb.Like the other day i got in a arugement with a lady at wic about soy milk having hormones,and that is why my dd is not on it.She explained to me that I was wrong and should do research about things before I say things.Sry for this post I was just shocked at the baby-sitting lady and at the way people treat me.
 
ADS

Yoshi

New member
The fact that you have taken so much time to educate yourself about car seat safety to protect your own children is very commendable. Some people don't like being faced with someone who knows more than they do, so they will feel backed into a corner and counter anything valid you have to say. It wouldn't matter if you were 28, 38, or 48 for that matter. Some people just don't get it. It's like you are speaking a foreign language, and they are out of their comfort zone. (with the car seat info) I think all the techs on this board feel the same way when they meet people who are not receptive to "new" and better information. Especially when their parenting skills are being questioned, people can get defensive and lash back at you that they know best. I only talk to CLOSE friends about car seat stuff- ones who know me and understand I am not judging them and only care about passing on good info. I've been both a young-ish first time mom (23), and an older second time mom (at 37) and I realized human nature doesn't discriminate!
 

cpsaddict

New member
Well, pfft, on them is what I say. Your age has absolutely nothing to do with what you know. I was 22 when I was certified and I have no children. People really look at me like I have no clue. Just stick to your guns and you will make a difference, no matter how small!

Keep up the good work! Oh, and YOU are right! :thumbsup:
 

lynsgirl

New member
(((Hugs))) Courtney. We moved back here (Navy also ;) ) about 6 mos ago and I have yet to find something to involve myself with, CPS-wise. Don't let this ignorant 28-yo rain on your parade :p - some people never grow up in certain areas ;) . I can't say that I get taken very seriously all the time, either, fwiw. I do understand where you're coming from, however, because I started having my kids at a younger age than most, too. Where in Chesapeake are you? That happens to be where I am at, as well ;). If you'd rather not post that in a public forum, PM me and maybe we can meet sometime. Chin up and keep doing a great job! :)
 

TXDani

Senior Community Member
I am sorry...people can be so rude!!! It is not a downfall of yours to be educated and to be educated about something that can save children, it is a downfall of hers for being so close minded on the issue. And like the pp's mentioned your age has nothing to do with what you know. You are a great mom and I am sure you are doing a better job then a lot of moms who are twice your age!!! Good luck with the new boy!
 

Loves2sing

New member
I am honestly shocked that you got the job when that is the reception you got from her, but as she gets to know you better, hopefully she will take you more seriously! I actually did laugh at the DVD player comment. :rolleyes: Like that's a good reason to FF? Whatever! You did a good job sticking up for yourself, you wouldn't have got the opportunity to continue her education if you had kept pressing the issue! Good luck and congrats with your new job!
 

broken4u05

New member
I am 20 so i have the your too young to understand thing too. even if they dont say it they are thinking it.. O and the DVD player thing made me laugh too.. I am glad you got the job though but i am not sure i would want to see her everyday.. Are you going to there house or his he comeing to yours?
 

momof2kiddos

New member
Thanks everyone,it is good to know that I am not the only one.I love this board so much,it is so nice to have other moms to find comfort in:)

By the way when she said the dvd player comment,it took it a second to register,I mean who in the world would say something that stupid?lol.Oh well...Hopefully I can slip some info in every now and then.

Kristina~It is only once a week at my house.She is a single mom so she is dropping him off to go run errands,and then once a month he will stay the night and in dec.he will stay with us for 3-5 days while she gives birth to a baby(she is a surragote(sp?) .So not too much of her;)....
 

momof2kiddos

New member
(((Hugs))) Courtney. We moved back here (Navy also ;) ) about 6 mos ago and I have yet to find something to involve myself with, CPS-wise. Don't let this ignorant 28-yo rain on your parade :p - some people never grow up in certain areas ;) . I can't say that I get taken very seriously all the time, either, fwiw. I do understand where you're coming from, however, because I started having my kids at a younger age than most, too. Where in Chesapeake are you? That happens to be where I am at, as well ;). If you'd rather not post that in a public forum, PM me and maybe we can meet sometime. Chin up and keep doing a great job! :)

I PMed you:D
 

broken4u05

New member
once a week is not too bad than.. Good luck with it and i hope you can put little thoughts in her head.. good luck
 

becca011906

Senior Community Member
Don't worry about her (((HUGS))) Young mom stuff and being look down on SUCKS with a BIG S!!! I was only 16 when i had my first 18 when i had 2 and now i'm 23 with 3 kidos and really wanting 1 more! LOL You did the right thing to try to inform her... all you can do is recoment info and it's the 'parents job' to do the right thing...
As for the W.I.C. lady... just smile and nod next time you go in there... they can't give you organic or soy "YET" but i'm sure it will come soon enough. I work for W.I.C. as a breastfeeding peer cousnler known to co workers as the crazy breastfeeding lady (who behind my back i'm sure think it's odd i bfed allie to 2 year old). Now they know me as the crazy car seat lady too! LOL
 

rlsadc

Senior Community Member
being 19 i get ALOT of that same attitude. i know that what i do for my baby is the best to knowledge...and that i educate myself, and choose how to raise my daughter. alot more than i can say for some older parents i have met....

keep your head up and find comfort in knowing that you are doing your best with your children
 

JaRylan

New member
Hugs and try not to worry about it, we all agree with you and you sound like a pretty smart cookie. ;)
 
(((hugs))) I wonder if you'll find dealing with her difficult, if she has such a condescending attitude? I would have a hard time working for someone like that! Maybe you could print up one of the extended RF fliers (someone help me with a link please!) that lists the benefits and physical science aspect, and just hand it to her with a friendly, "After our conversation the other day, I knew you'd be fascinated by this..." :whistle:

Just a friendly FYI from a used-to-be-a-young-mommy, now a not-so-young-mommy with little ones (so I still get mistaken for being a "new" mommy quite often when out with my 2 little ones)... The "I chat on a board with some experts" approach doesn't really sound all that persuasive to most people, whether you're talking about carseats or any other issues. I've found it much more effective and convincing to say something like, "I've done a great deal of research on this, and discovered...." ;)
 

MsFacetious

New member
I am only 22 as well so I get a lot of crap.

Whats kind of funny is there was actually a big fight between me and another member of up with downs... but, it was pretty one sided. I stayed professional and mature while the 40 year old acted like a 14 year old. Lol.

It was pretty funny. :)

Everyone is different and maturity doesn't always come with age. So it just depends on the person.

I would have had a hard time with that situation... definitely.
 

Niea

New member
I find that extended RFing is a lot like breastfeeding. . .discussing each topic tends to bring out the worst in people. People don't want to be told that what they're doing is not as good (ie, forward facing to soon or not trying out breastfeeding).

Most of the people who know me well already know how I feel about certain topics so I don't even need to say something. For the people who don't know me, I mention casually my preferences but I don't really push. Once I said my piece, I let it go. I find that it really takes finesse when talking to people about issues like this -- nobody wants to be made to feel that they're a bad parent.

To be perfectly honest, I'm in a situation where the woman who watches my DD has different opinions on carseat use than I do. She's fantastic, though, so I don't want to ruin our great relationship. She's got her younger child (about 15 mos) forward facing already, but he has medical issues and she feels more comfortable where she can see him (her reasoning is that our pedi said that his neck muscles are strong enough now). Her older child is 2.5 and is forward facing, but I'm really glad he's still harnessed. She tried him out in a booster for a while, but put him back in the harness after she realized he wouldn't sit still. Despite this, however, she let me install DDs carseat in her car however I wanted (still rearfacing at 2) and didn't say a word.

She's a wonderful mother who sometimes has to make tough choices. I didn't argue with her about the neck muscles thing but I felt it wasn't entirely my place. She really wants him FF to be able to see him and probably would have not turned him around regardless. So in my situation, the argument wouldn't have only done damage to the relationship.

I'm just happy that she's still following the law (regardless of how inadequate it is) with her own childrenand doesn't mind that my DD is still RFing.
 

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