I cant get erf into my mothers head

eyeslkethesky5391

Senior Community Member
So my mom is looking into adopting twin girls very soon...my uncle has them right now as foster children and mom and step dad have been considering adoption for awhile. Well the girls are about to be two years old. And I was talking about seats to mom and I told her you might wanna go with a convertible because I advise them to be rearfacing. Shes not gonna have a ton of money to play with so I was thinking about maybe purchasing 2 myrides or something similar as adoption "presents" She so bucks up and rears when I talk about RFing she does the typical i don't want there legs up on my back seat or there not going to like it routine...I have showed her videos, showed her statistics, the whole nines. I told her if they are riding in my vehicle and they are under the RF weight limit they will be RFing...but that I advise she do the same. Is there something ELSE i can do or say
 
ADS

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
eyeslkethesky5391 said:
i don't want there legs up on my back seat or there not going to like it
My response to the first argument here is always: "oh I know, it's sooooo annoying when kids kick the front seatbacks -- I hate it as the driver & I know my front passenger hates it too -- at least when they're RF they can only bother themselves" ;)

For the 2nd excuse: "well, my kid LOVED being able to prop her feet up on her own vehicle seatback or cross her legs or push on the vehicle seatback, etc. verses ONLY bein able to dangle her legs when FF & I don't blame her ... I mean, *I* can't stand it when I sit on a bar stool that doesn't offer any leg support."

But . . . after 2 yrs old I also wouldn't make an issue of it. They'll be her girls to care for & they're not turning FF *prematurely*. We can't make everyone (even those we love) or anyone, really, do what we want them to do :shrug: I'm honestly quite extremely happy when I see 2 year olds still harnessed securely in seats that are installed correctly (with top tether).

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eyeslkethesky5391

Senior Community Member
thanks for the encouragement...I know that they are two but i have a feeling from seeing pictures that they are very petite...that was really my big concern with turning them...but I will try a couple of things maybe I can convert her :)
 
Just remember, your mom already knows the info as you've said you've shown her. They are not your children to make the decision on. Typically, the more you push the ERF on someone the more they are to do the oppsite of what you're saying. It gets old being told over & over again. You made it clear that when in your car they will RF & leave it at that. Don't alienate your mom w/ car seat stuff, it's just not worth it at age 2 (petite LOs or not).

That's the hardest thing I've had to learn. Do not alienate friends & family w/ car seat stuff. Offer up the facts & let them decide for themselves. Yup, RF to the minimums is not ideal & we pray & pray they don't learn the ERF benefits the hard way, but it's just our jobs as, techs or friends or family to pass on the knowledge, we can't force people to use the knowledge to our liking.
 

firemomof3

New member
:yeahthat: Very well said. I have a problem with keeping my mouth shut and I have pushed ERF onto people which just made them mad :eek: I have learned my lesson and now I just inform as nicely as possible and then I drop it. But its SO discouraging when they just blow you off, sometimes I feel like I have to say it all over again because they obviously didn't get it!
 

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
thanks for the encouragement...I know that they are two but i have a feeling from seeing pictures that they are very petite...that was really my big concern with turning them...but I will try a couple of things maybe I can convert her :)

As long as they meet the minimums for forward-facing (and a petite 2yo may not, especially in a Dorel seat), size is not really relevant.

I agree, hard, about not alienating people. You want people to feel comfortable coming to you with questions. If they fear lecturing and nagging, they won't ask when they need to.
 

ConnorsMommy

New member
After having a CPST come to my son's school and after seeing the fact that none of the seats he checked were being used correctly and I doubt any of the other seats he didn't get to check were used correctly, I'd be focusing more on helping her learn to use the seats correctly instead of pressuring her to ERF. She already knows the facts so the ball is in her court now. What I usually try to do is to tell someone about ERF once (maybe twice depending on the circumstances) and then leave it up to them to decide. It is hard though to bite your tongue when they decide to FF at 1!
 

icnee

New member
I under stand it is hard for you. But she has been given the info and it is up to her so even though none of us here realy like her decision I would say that the net best thing would be to help your mom and step dad to be able to properly instal and use the seats FFing ( with no mention of ERFing)

Heck myu neice even when she was barly a year and a 1/2 old I was happier to see her in a FFing seat that she wasnt yet big enough for ( not yet 20 pounds she was 2 before she was 20lbs) then on her moms lap.


And who knows maybe if they are ina seat with suoer head slump ity will drive her nuts and a good fix woud be ERFing that then she may be open to but really I would not mention it to her more other wise she may not want you to even help install FFing for fear of being nagged.
 

Kat_Momof3

New member
I agree that they aren't your kids... so what I'd do is tell your mom that you'll get them carseats as an adoption present... and take her shopping... let her know your budget... and help her choose a safe option for whichever way she decides to go.

Small steps... they're over 2, so if she chooses ff, it's not horrible... keeping them harnessed until booster readiness is the crucial part.

I'd probably do 2 myrides if she will change her mind, but if she wants them ff, I'd get two evenflo maestros.
 

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