Kids left in cars...

This is meant to be a thought provoking PSA on all the places a baby might be left in the car. That it doesn't just happen in work parking lots or the supermarket or mall.

Yesterday we decided to go to the 11 am church service instead of the 9 am one and at a church we'd only been to once before. We were running early so we stopped and fed the ducks about a mile away from the church for 20 minutes before we headed to church. Once we got to church we parked and I got out with the big kids and started walking up the longish path to the church and to the kids check in 'desk' outside the church. DH gets there as I am trying to get kids signed in and I do a head count 1,2,3,4... and I am thinking to myself I have 4 walking, kids okay... um but dh's arms are empty as are mine. So I ask (why I dunno I knew the answer) "where's the baby?" It takes several times of me asking for it to sink in that I don't have the baby and you don't have the baby, the baby is in the van still (!). So dh ran back to the van (about 100/150 yards, he was fine never even knew we'd left and was playing with his pull adjuster). So add church as somewhere baby's can be left. I am thankful we all met at the kids check in and that we don't do the 'you drop baby off in the nursery, and I'll take the preschooler to his class and meet back in the adult church" thing because the reason I knew something was amiss is the baby should have been in one of our arms, and he wasn't. Had I assumed dh took him to nursery or he assumed I did I shutter to wonder what might have been. Thank God for new churches (so not yet comfy enough to leave the baby).

The season where it becomes extra dangerous to leave a kiddo in a vehicle is quickly approaching, so where else might someone accidently leave a kiddo in their seat? Let's take away the idea that 'if I am super careful when I am shopping and I don't work outside the home (so I wouldn't be leaving them at work and not dropping them off at daycare) I am immune from it happening to me' notion.

glad u remembered! and thanks for the reminder were all human!!

At home. When B was about 4 months old I almost forgot her in the car at our house. It was late, dark, she had fallen asleep about 5 seconds after I put her in on my way home from a monthly group I attend. I don't usually take the kids with me but had brought the baby for some reason. The only reason I remembered her was when I went to grab my purse what I grabbed was the diaper bag. It really scared me because I really didn't remember that I had her with me.

It really can happen to anyone at any time.. I am trying to be as diligent as possible since DS has been falling asleep more in his seat lately. I try to make sure that I have the diaper bag on the seat next to me as a reminder. If the baby is not with me then I carry my purse. Thanks for the extra reminder as it is very important to never think that it cannot happen to you.

I'm glad you have this post. I have only told one person about an experience I had because I felt so awful. My bff because I could trust she wouldn't judge. A couple of months back I was working a lot of ot at work. For whatever reason I left early that day to do some errands. I picked my son yo went home at lunch and went to the store. My son fell asleep in the car..it was the middle of the day and so off my schedule since I was usually at work. I went in the store was gone for 5 min if that..as I walked to the car I realized what I had done. I panicked..I cried all the way home and prayed thanking god he was ok. How could I do that? How did I do that? I never understood how people forgot their child...I got it. I had been over worked not enough sleep, stressed from work out of synch. I felt like the worst mom...I cried for hours and prayed and prayed some more apologizing for what I did. That was the LOWEST I ever felt. I only told one person because I was afraid no one would understand..and think I did it on purpose, or think I didn't care about my precious boy! Nothing means more to me than my child and ever since then I can't shake the feeling of that day. I always check now.

I left a 6yo in the van at church once, LOL. He was so sleepy, that when everyone unbuckled & climbed out, he lay down to sleep on the floor. I was busy with the baby & toddler, and really didn't notice exactly which of my children had joined the mob of kids at the door. It was a good 5 minutes later as I ushered everyone into their seats that we realized no-one had seen 6yo since in the van. I went back to find him crying because we had left him.

I don't think I've ever left a baby, but I've almost forgotten to put them *in* the van a few times when leaving home.

It's way harder to keep track of everyone when DH is around because he doesn't check in with me and let me know who he has, and who I'm supposed to have. I'll turn around at Costco & see DH disappearing around the corner and 3 of my children missing. So then I have to chase him down and make sure they're with him, and that he knows he has them.

I am so glad to know I wasn't the only one! My son is 3 and very quiet kid. Always happy but quiet..soft spoken. He was asleep..I wasn't used to having him with me during the day. My son is my first priority and how I could leave him Idk but I will never forget that feeling

I never left my kids in the car but one time I was driving my daughter to my grandmothers for her to watch her while I worked that day. She had off from school for some reason. On the way there I was driving and routine took over, I kjust forgot about driving her to Grandmom's and started driving right to work. She had laid down and fallen asleep..

When I got to work, She said" I thought you were taking me to Grandmom's?"

So while I never left her, I can totally see how it could happen.

Never say never, Do all you can to prevent it from happening to you.

Rylansmom,

I've done it before, too. In our driveway. Thankfully, it wasn't hot enough out that my son was hurt, but I literally forgot about him for a good 15 minutes. He had fallen asleep, and I had to use the bathroom really bad. So, I ran inside and left him, thinking that I'd be right back out. I got distracted by something-probably our dogs-and then realized that I'd forgotten to bring him in.

It was and is a horrible feeling that I'll never forget.

You aren't the only one. And I truly feel for any parent who has made this mistake and lost their child.

henrietta

henrietta said:

Rylansmom,

I've done it before, too. In our driveway. Thankfully, it wasn't hot enough out that my son was hurt, but I literally forgot about him for a good 15 minutes. He had fallen asleep, and I had to use the bathroom really bad. So, I ran inside and left him, thinking that I'd be right back out. I got distracted by something-probably our dogs-and then realized that I'd forgotten to bring him in.

It was and is a horrible feeling that I'll never forget.

You aren't the only one. And I truly feel for any parent who has made this mistake and lost their child.

henrietta

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Thank you so much! I really needed to hear that. I think every parent, even the best of parents still have those moments where you feel like a bad parent. This just happened end of sec, beginning of Jan, and it is still fresh and it feels good to tell others instead of be so ashamed and not admit it. If this helps someone not make that mistake then it is worth the humility. I felt awful, still do, and hope to never make that mistake again. I am so thankful he was fine, nothing happened, and cops weren't called. I would understand why, but wouldn't know how to explain it. I am thankful for tinted windows. However if I didn't have them I may have saw him as I was leaving

This can truly happen to anyone. Don't beat yourself up over it. All we can do is be as diligent as possible and give ourselves reminders.

You're welcome.

I'll never again think "not me" or feel anything but mercy & love for any parent this happens to. I'm sure there are a few really crappy parents out there who were just plain stupid or ignorant...but I feel like the majority of times this happens, it is truly, sadly, a devastatingly horrible, horrible mistake.

I'd been getting a child in and out of a car for YEARS...and I still forgot about my baby in the car.

henrietta

Very scary, and it truly can happen to anyone. My sister worked at a daycare where it happened. The mom came in to pick up her child and the child hadn't been there. I think it was a little boy. Their other children had been sick that week, routine was messed up and I believe he was in her car the entire day. It ended very sadly. Excellent parents and a mistake that's very easy to make.

I have a caution about children getting in the car on their own. I was at the playground when my middle son was probably around 4 years old. It was a VERY hot day, his cheeks were bright red, and he wanted to go. I told him we'd go in a minute. He's very literal and took that literally. While I was talking to friends he climbed into the van, shut the door, and strapped himself into his carseat. I think it was maybe 5 minutes later that I was rounding up the boys and couldn't find him. I knew after a minute or two of looking exactly where he was and ran to the van. He had already been hot before but was flushed and drowsy. I immediately gave him water and he started perking up. In hindsight I probably should have taken him to the ER. Thankfully he was fine. The car was in the shade. Had it not been I don't think he would have been OK. It was a very close call and I still get shaken up thinking about it, years later.

Becca

vtbecca said:

Very scary, and it truly can happen to anyone. My sister worked at a daycare where it happened. The mom came in to pick up her child and the child hadn't been there. I think it was a little boy. Their other children had been sick that week, routine was messed up and I believe he was in her car the entire day. It ended very sadly. Excellent parents and a mistake that's very easy to make.

I have a caution about children getting in the car on their own. I was at the playground when my middle son was probably around 4 years old. It was a VERY hot day, his cheeks were bright red, and he wanted to go. I told him we'd go in a minute. He's very literal and took that literally. While I was talking to friends he climbed into the van, shut the door, and strapped himself into his carseat. I think it was maybe 5 minutes later that I was rounding up the boys and couldn't find him. I knew after a minute or two of looking exactly where he was and ran to the van. He had already been hot before but was flushed and drowsy. I immediately gave him water and he started perking up. In hindsight I probably should have taken him to the ER. Thankfully he was fine. The car was in the shade. Had it not been I don't think he would have been OK. It was a very close call and I still get shaken up thinking about it, years later.

Becca

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The story you were talking about the daycare I believe was in a parenting magazine. I remember reading it and thought not me, how do you forget but it is so easy when they are asleep and you are out of synch with routine, or even when you are following your routine...but not used to having the child with you. I feel for parents because you have so much going through your mind that it can easily happen.

It truly CAN happen to anyone. I think I started a thread like this last year. The midwife I had with Charlie told me it happened to her...thankfully it did not end badly. She was in hawaii visiting her daughter. There were about 6 adults (her and her husband, her DD and DD's husband, plus maybe another DD or DS and their spouse?). They had taken all the kids somewhere in two vehicles. When they got back, everyone unloaded and they went inside. When they went to put the kids to bed, they realized one was missing...they found him asleep in his car seat still! He was hot and flushed, but ok. If it had been during the day it might have ended badly, but it was night time and cooler. It was a simple situation of everyone being out of their routine, and each adult assumed another adult had grabbed him.

I think admitting it CAN happen to you is the best prevention. You are more aware of the situations you may be caught off guard and you are a wee bit more paranoid. And you can take precautions, like making a habit of checking the backseat every trip, or leaving your purse in the backseat or the diaper bag in the front. When you say "It would never happen to me" and don't take precautions is probably when it is MOST likely to happen. Every article I've ever read, the parent admitted they thought it only happened to bad parents, and that they were good parents so it wouldn't happen to them.

This past summer, I had a scary moment happen to me. I had been running errands all day, appointments and whatnot. My friend had kept the kiddos. I had an appt at like 5p to get the tires changed, and she asked me to take the baby so she could make dinner. Auna fell asleep on the way there, and I spaced that I took her with me. I mean, my friend had had them all day. I never take her just by herself, so it didn't click for me. I went into the mechanic's, gave them my keys, told them where my car was and sat down. About 5 minutes later, I started wondering what the kids were doing and if they were having fun. Shocked, I realized Auna was with me. I ran outside in a panic and my car was on the lift, but not lifted up yet. I ripped the door open and she was still asleep. Flushed, but fine. The mechanic said, "well hello there!" I was terrified they'd call the cops on me or something, but they were SO nice. It really can happen to anybody.