What would you do?

ConnorsMommy · Feb 9, 2011

Today when I arrived at my son's school to drop him off I noticed a mom pull up next to me. She got her son out of the car seat (wearing a puffy coat of course) but left her daughter who looked to be around 2 in the car! She then walked her son into school, leaving her daughter alone in the car in -6 degree weather. :thumbsdown:I was mad! I told the assistant director and she talked to the mom when she was on her way out. The mom's explanation was "The car is warm". The mom was only in the school for a few minutes, but it still made me mad that she left her daughter alone in the car. I told the assistant director that if it happened again, I may call the police. What would you have done in that situation?

SignCuer · Feb 9, 2011

Call the police... no excuses! I don't care if the car was warm, it's against the law.

rachandsoph · Feb 9, 2011

In Alberta, it's against the law to not use your upper tether on the car seat, but not against the law to leave the kiddo alone in the car

mamom · Feb 9, 2011

I wonder if her rational was that it is warmer in the car than outside? (Definately not agreeing just stating)

LISmama810 · Feb 9, 2011

Let the tomatoes fly...

First, let me say that I am in NO WAY an advocate of leaving children alone in cars. I have called the police on more than one occasion for just such a thing, and I'm sure I will again.

However, I do see a difference between leaving a kid in a big public parking lot to go shopping vs leaving a kid for five minutes in a day care parking lot while you drop off the other kid.

In one case, the time limit is indefinite and all sorts of nutsos could walk by. In the other case, it's a quick run with a few other parents walking by.

Granted, things can happen. What if mom gets wrapped up talking with a teacher or another parent? What if Mom has a heart attack and no one realizes the baby is outside?

I'm not saying it's a great idea, but I don't think I'd call the police in that situation.

Rebelnicky04 · Feb 9, 2011

I am one of those people that tries to plan for the worst... just imagine if that small child had played with the buttons and locked the doors and the mother couldn't get to the child. I mean there are SO many things that could go wrong. I would have said something to the mom or the director but I wouldn't go as far as to calling the police. Sometimes people don't think and are naive (not that it is an excuse) but maybe now that someone has mentioned it to her she will think next time... at least we can hope

LISmama810 · Feb 9, 2011

I had assumed the car was off and locked.

Keeanh · Feb 9, 2011

All sorts of bad things can happen when you take a kid WITH you too. I have nearly lost 2yos several times due to them wandering off, me getting distracted, them bolting and me having to leave the other children unattended to catch them, etc.. I have never had any close calls while they're strapped into a seat they can't unbuckle in a vehicle within my sight. Now, I personally wouldn't leave a 2yo on their own out of my sight. But it's still just in front of the school at a time when lots of other parents are around. You've voiced your concerns. I would leave it.

mamakc · Feb 9, 2011

Here's my probably controversial opinion on it...
Personally, I have no problem leaving my 2 year old strapped in his car seat while I run his sister into somewhere. Provided the car is off, locked, and within my sight the entire time. I do this when I take DD to dance class, especially when I have my niece with me. It's a very small studio and I park in front of the door and walk her to the door. I would be really angry if somebody called the police or even said anything to me about it because I really don't feel like there is ANY risk whatsoever to the babies if I do that. However, letting my 2 year old out of the car in a busy parking lot (lots of drop offs and pick ups) IS risky. I would NOT fault or judge someone else for making a similar decision either.
Also, if I'm leaving the house and have everyone loaded in the car and I realize I forgot to grab the library books I need to return, I do NOT unload everyone for that. I run in the house and grab them.
However, I would not leave him/them in the car for anything else. Not to run into a convenience store to pay for gas, not to use the automated postal kiosk at the post office, not to go grocery shopping, etc.

daycaremom2002 · Feb 9, 2011

I don't think I would worry too much. Especially if mom didn't actually go into the school. I think that if the car is off and locked and mom can still see the vehicle, that it is fine. If she goes inside and stays in for a while, that is not ok. I agree that it is different that a parent leaving a child in the car to go into a store.

finn · Feb 9, 2011

mamakc said:
Here's my probably controversial opinion on it...
Personally, I have no problem leaving my 2 year old strapped in his car seat while I run his sister into somewhere. Provided the car is off, locked, and within my sight the entire time. I do this when I take DD to dance class, especially when I have my niece with me. It's a very small studio and I park in front of the door and walk her to the door. I would be really angry if somebody called the police or even said anything to me about it because I really don't feel like there is ANY risk whatsoever to the babies if I do that. However, letting my 2 year old out of the car in a busy parking lot (lots of drop offs and pick ups) IS risky. I would NOT fault or judge someone else for making a similar decision either.
Also, if I'm leaving the house and have everyone loaded in the car and I realize I forgot to grab the library books I need to return, I do NOT unload everyone for that. I run in the house and grab them.
However, I would not leave him/them in the car for anything else. Not to run into a convenience store to pay for gas, not to use the automated postal kiosk at the post office, not to go grocery shopping, etc.

:yeahthat:

although I do leave them in the car when I pay for gas, but I can see the car the whole time.

Mommy2Marcus · Feb 9, 2011

mamakc said:
Here's my probably controversial opinion on it...
Personally, I have no problem leaving my 2 year old strapped in his car seat while I run his sister into somewhere. Provided the car is off, locked, and within my sight the entire time. I do this when I take DD to dance class, especially when I have my niece with me. It's a very small studio and I park in front of the door and walk her to the door. I would be really angry if somebody called the police or even said anything to me about it because I really don't feel like there is ANY risk whatsoever to the babies if I do that. However, letting my 2 year old out of the car in a busy parking lot (lots of drop offs and pick ups) IS risky. I would NOT fault or judge someone else for making a similar decision either.
Also, if I'm leaving the house and have everyone loaded in the car and I realize I forgot to grab the library books I need to return, I do NOT unload everyone for that. I run in the house and grab them.
However, I would not leave him/them in the car for anything else. Not to run into a convenience store to pay for gas, not to use the automated postal kiosk at the post office, not to go grocery shopping, etc.

I feel the same as you. I leave Marcus in the car to run back into the house. I also have left him to pay for gas while at the local gas station, but I step right inside the door & stand there watching the car. The women & men that work there know me & know why I do this. I also lock the doors so no one else can get in. I however do not leave him if I can not see the car.

DaniChildcare · Feb 9, 2011

I also have to say, i've left kids in the car to sign in others for preschool. The car is parked right in front of the door to the preschool, and i'm literally walking 10 feet to the door where the sign in sheet is. The car is in view, and honestly, i'm not going to get 1-2 other kids unbuckled and out of the car to walk 10 feet with me to the sign in sheet, just to turn around and buckle them back in.

It depends on the situation, and the place. I'm not going to unload a sleeping baby from the car to go pay for gas either (car is in sight the whole time)

If i can't see the car, baby goes with me, but again, if i'm walking 10 feet to the preschool doors, i see no reason to unload another child.

AtTheSouthDam · Feb 9, 2011

Target parking lot I'd call. The drop off line at our school, nope. They'll notice if the car is parked for more than a few minutes should mom get "caught up" with a teacher.
So, depends on the situation. I wouldn't call the police at a school pick up line though.

BananaBoat · Feb 9, 2011

Like most things in parenthood, I think much of it depends on the kid.

I have no issue leaving DD in the car (locked & off, keys in my hands), strapped securely in her car seat while I run into the ATM or even to Starbucks to order a coffee. :duck:

I can see DD in the car the entire time in both scenarios & we make faces or play peek-a-boo while I'm waiting in line. It's 5 minutes & would take 2x as long to bring her with me. I live in a climate that has lots of cold days & for the short amount of time it takes me to complete the errand the car is toasty warm when I get back in. But, it's not a leisurely trip - it's in & out. If there's a 10 person line, I skip the trip entirely.

We all assess risk differently. There are situations that I have to leave DD on her own for a few minutes at a time. She can handle it. I know there are always emergencies, but I can't prevent every little thing from happening. I have to take the dog out 3x a day & leave her in the house alone to do so. It's 5 minutes & it's not the best situation, but you gotta do what you gotta do. :twocents:

Athena · Feb 9, 2011

I feel like things have gotten a bit off track with assumptions. The OP said she, "walked her son into school," and, "was only in the school for a few minutes." So the mother in question was actually inside the school and for a few minutes and this is a school, not a little daycare facility, right? I did not assume from that description that the mother could see her car, could get there in time if there was trouble, or that the parking was even close to the front door or a drop off line. Did OP say anything about whether the car was on or off? These are details that would matter to me when deciding whether to do something as serious as calling the police. Given what I know of the situation, I understand why you (OP) were concerned for her safety and can imagine how upsetting this would be to see. OP, if you felt she was not safe, then there was probably a reason (since you were there and we weren't) so good for you for saying something.

lovemybabies924 · Feb 9, 2011

at my kids' school the parents parking lot is just a gravel shoulder along a road..so i call my kids' teachers and have them come to the school door to bring me or pick up my kids

Minnesota · Feb 9, 2011

OP - does your state have a law against children being left unattended in a vehicle for any length of time? Unless it does, don't bother calling the police, there is absolutely nothing they could do about it.

I agree that there is a lot we don't know about this situation - how far away she was, how long she was gone, whether or not the car was in her line of sight, if the car was left running or off and locked.

I'm an advocate of all safety measures regarding kids and cars, but I'll admit that I regularly leave my 2yo DS strapped into his seat in my off and locked van with keys in my hand while I dash 15 feet (literally, the six-car parking area is right up against the front of the building) into my son's preschool to pick him up at the end of the day. Pick up is always quick in-and-out, and if for any reason the teachers would want to talk to me about an issue, I would let them know that I had a child waiting and would discuss it at the next drop-off. I'm literally away from my van for maybe 60-90 seconds, but it is usually out of my line of sight just because of the length of the entryway.

It's a parental judgment call on my part because I feel like there is greater risk involved with unstrapping him to make that one-minute trek into the school, and then trying to wrangle both kids back into their seats in the van as other vehicles are coming and going.

Minnesota · Feb 9, 2011

Actually, I answered my own question. According to kidsandcars.org, there is no legislation in OP's state (Colorado) regarding unattended children in vehicles.

The states that do have laws seem to almost all have wording that includes something similar to the following:

a) It is an offense for a person responsible for a child younger than seven (7) years of age to knowingly leave that child in a motor vehicle located on public property or while on the premises of any shopping center, trailer park, or any apartment house complex, or any other premises that is generally frequented by the public at large without being supervised in the motor vehicle by a person who is at least thirteen (13) years of age, if:

(1) The conditions present a risk to the child's health or safety;

(2) The engine of the motor vehicle is running; or

(3) The keys to the motor vehicle are located anywhere inside the passenger compartment of the vehicle.

jessi f · Feb 9, 2011

How much it would bother me would depend on the layout of the center/school. I used to work in a day care where parents left their kids in the cars all the time. I was not ok with bc of the way the entrance worked. You would come in a set of doors walk up a little hall and go thru anther set of doors to get to the classrooms. There was no way to see what was going on in the parking lot. And this might just me me being paranoid, but I would worry that someone who would intend to take a child would be more likely to watch a center where there would be a lot of children coming and going. Especially if they were left out of sight. Out of sight is where I draw the line. Even if it's just for a minute.

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