Help Me Rationalize This Please (warning-LONG))

TheRealMacGyver

New member
We just started my 1yo son in daycare about 3 weeks ago. He is only there from 8am to noon. After his first 2 days he became sick, ended up at the doctor, and took a week to fully recover. We kept him out of daycare during this time because we could. Started him back last week on Monday, and when we arrived there was a notice on the door warning of rotavirus, saying there had been a case of it there! We thought about just leaving and never coming back, but then realized that we can't protect him forever and he needs to be exposed at some point. This time he made it 4 days, then similar symptoms, vomit, fever, etc. Took him to doctor Friday, doctor said he has rotavirus, prescribed a suppository to help with nasea and vomitting, plus recommended fever-all (tylenol-type suppository) for fever. So in all he has spent a total of 24 hours in daycare and became sick twice already! He's still not completely recovered yet today, but definately getting there. Our insurance covers well-care visits and we have to pay for sick-visits up to a certain dollar amount. So between the daycare cost plus the doctor visits, daycare is beginning to look like it may not be cost effective. We are fortunate that we can keep him out now, but in August I will go back to work and I don't know how we will deal with this sort of thing.

We have noticed some of the other kids have been coughing, had runny noses, and are not well. I understand the dilemma when parents have to work and the child is sick, but it annoys me like crazy that my son is in there with sick kids that should be at home. I'm not blaming anyone, I understand there is no simple solution. Is this just the norm for kids starting in daycare? Is it easier when they are older/stronger?

FYI: Our son has been healthy up until know with no problems at all. He eats healthy, takes a multi vitamin, and gets good rest. I would like to hear your experiences and alternate solutions. I am seriously considering a nanny, but I was hoping to get him socialized as well.
 
ADS

jenny03

New member
Their immune systems seem to build up after a while and they won't get sick as much. My daughter who is in pre-k at a day care center hardly ever gets a cold. That wasn't the case at 1 yr. old. I'd say if you don't have to send him right now, wait until summer. Less viruses going around. OR go the nanny route and plan lots of outings. :)

We have noticed some of the other kids have been coughing, had runny noses, and are not well. I understand the dilemma when parents have to work and the child is sick, but it annoys me like crazy that my son is in there with sick kids that should be at home.
As for this, there really isn't anything the day care can do about it. Usually as long as the kid doesn't a fever, vomiting, diarrhea or a rash, they can attend day care. Sometimes, they really do need to stay home. :(
 

arly1983

New member
Unfortunitly, This is what the state (of Georgia) says on sickness....

"Children can not attend if they have a temperature of more than 101 degrees Farenheit or if they have a communicable disease, are vomiting, or have diarrhea. "

There have been a few times that I have whiped out my communicable disease chart and been able to send a few kids back home and then sometimes I take them and moniter their fevers closely and min it gets to 101 I call Mom or Dad and then sometimes I just have to keep them.

Unfortuntly, this is how children usually react to a daycare. A home daycare is usually the same way, though not usually as many sicknesses running around and if your daycare provider has kids of her/his own then they are usually very watchful. (thats also a great way to pick out a home daycare provider, watch them with their own kids)

A nanny would also be a good way to go to avoid sickness. You could find a friend and share a nanny.

Though, a nanny or homecare is not going to be as dependable as a regualar daycare.
 

southpawboston

New member
basically, unless your child is diagnosed with some sort of special immune disorder or other condition that makes it dangerous to get communicable illness at an early age, it's okay to let them get sick from other kids at daycares/pre-k's, playgroups, whatever... they have to build up their immune systems, and if they don't build them up in daycare then they will simply do it later... they're GOING to get sick, period. it's not a matter of if, but when, and how soon you want that process to start. for some parents, the earlier the better. for others, there is a concern that the younger they are when they get sick, the harder time they have since they can't easily communicate their discomfort. again, there are exceptions to this, depending on whether your child has any special health concerns.

ETA: oh, and this year, the rotavirus was especially penetrant. just about everyone i know got it, young or old! my entire family with the exception of our 6mo duaghter at the time got it over christmas despite practicing good hygiene, and it was pretty grim, but it happens...
 

broken4u05

New member
I also what to add being a nanny to 2 boys a year old. I take them out all the time. They have a music class and everything else. Parks, playdates, play areas at the mall when it is cold or rainy and book readings at book stores so they meet other children so if you want a nanny make sure you have someone that takes him out. But i also have to say the boys have been sick with the stomach bug 2 times this winter and a few colds. So when you have your children with other kids they are going to get sick. So nanny or day care when kids are together they get sick.
 

MagnificentMama

Senior Community Member
We have noticed some of the other kids have been coughing, had runny noses, and are not well. I understand the dilemma when parents have to work and the child is sick, but it annoys me like crazy that my son is in there with sick kids that should be at home. I'm not blaming anyone, I understand there is no simple solution. Is this just the norm for kids starting in daycare? Is it easier when they are older/stronger?

Honestly... my daughter was sick for the entire school year when she first started daycare. She started when she was 2 and I swear we were in the doctors office every other week. Her pedi deemed her the ear infection princess!!

I can't give you any specific advice because it's totally up to you, but at the same time, i just wanted to reassure you that my DDs emersion into daycare was the same as your sons :( It's not that we picked an unclean daycare, it's just that when you get a bunch of germballs (and i say that with lllooovveee :love:)all together in a room, someone is bound to pass something around and the little kiddo's immune system is being newly introduced to everything so theyll pick up anything under the sun.
 

Starlight

Senior Community Member
This is true, despite me closely watching, we ALL got to experience rotavirus in early Nov as well...

Had any of your kids recently been vaccinated for rotavirus? The new vaccine is a live virus, and I'm surmisisng that we all have the CDC to thank for this rash of rotavirus we've seen lately.
 

arly1983

New member
No, none of my kids had gotten recently but all three of my little girls will this summer I think....so that will be just great!
 

mommy2jana

New member
As others have said - germs are just going to be passed around in any environment where there are children. Even in the cleanest daycares and with the most watchful/careful caregivers it is going to happen...there's no way around it. It is up to you, though, how early you want your child exposed to illness.

I was a SAHM until my dd was 9 months old. She went into a home daycare first. She did not get sick the couple of months she was there. However, every daycare she has been in since (we moved a lot) -she has gotten sick within the first week of being there. As a matter of fact, the daycare she is in now, she has only been there since mid-February. She got a stomach bug the first week, and seemed better, then got it again the next week, and a couple of weeks later. Then she had her tonsils and adenoids removed and was out for a week. After returning to school for one day - she got Chicken Pox! She is not at an unclean daycare....its just that her body has to build up immunities to the types of illnesses that are passed around this specific daycare. At her old daycare, she was there for 2 years, she got sick a couple of times within the first couple of weeks and then was completely fine and rarely got sick.
 

didymama

New member
daycare to me is nothing but a breeding ground for germs. i choose to aviod it at all costs. i would exhaust every alternative before daycare. when my oldest was there he was always sick. no more daycare=much less sickies. doesn't eliminate everything, but certianly a huge chunk!
 

southpawboston

New member
daycare to me is nothing but a breeding ground for germs. i choose to aviod it at all costs. i would exhaust every alternative before daycare. when my oldest was there he was always sick. no more daycare=much less sickies. doesn't eliminate everything, but certianly a huge chunk!

breeding ground for germs, yes, but that's not a bad thing. germs are what build the immune system. no more daycare = much less sickies early on, much more later on. it's not a matter of less or more sick, but simply when.
 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
Do you know the providor's cleanliness routine? In NY we're required to provide the oversight Coordinating Council (in each county) with a detailed schedule of how often hands/toys will be washed + where + how, etc.....
 

TheRealMacGyver

New member
Thanks for your comments. I was completely expecting that he would be exposed to sickness with all the germballs, but I just didn't think he would be getting sick this frequently. I understand that he has to get exposed at some point in order to build up immunity, but I just can't take it this often. I am trying very hard not to get hysterical over this. 2 days in, 11 days out, 4 days in, 4 days out (so far). And I've spent almost as much at the doctors as I have on daycare! If I take him in there this time and see another one of those kids with snot dripping out of their nose, I'm going to vapor-lock right there. I know I can't keep him in a bubble, but there has to be a middle ground here. I'm taking one giant leap from peppy happy-boy to lethargic vomit-boy with every visit to daycare.
 

arly1983

New member
It is a shock, isn't it?

A Daycare friend and I have a running discussion going about how we think that there might be some extra benefits with starting daycare at 6 week/3 months as opposed to waiting til 1 yr +.

Infants (under 6 months) who come into the daycare enviroment do not seem to go through the same "catching everything phase". They also are not emotionally upset by the change in caregivers and enviroment as much as a 1 year old. This is on average however, there are exceptions out there.

Not that the above, MacGyver, is going to help you now!

Many ((HUGS)) your way.
 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
There may be a physical health benefit of starting childcare earlier (not for all kids, though) ... however, research shows over & over again that such young children are more emotionally + cognitively healthy staying with their primary parent -- except in those instances when the parent is incapable of providing quality care (due to depression, finances, etc.) Infant care is quite different than toddler care vs. preschoolers & such forth so I personally would much rather see our society supporting the PARENTS directly before urging more infants into daycare :eek: But, don't get me wrong, I am not knocking the parents who choose to work at 6 weeks! I am booing the fact that our society doesn't provide as much support for the option to stay home for the sake of the child if THAT is what the parent chooses, nor does it seem that enough providors are adequately trained/supervised to provide truly quality care for infants (this does of course vary).
 

mominabigtruck

New member
Just out of curiosity, how often do you have him out now? My mom ran a large daycare for a long time and you could really tell the difference between kids who had older siblings and their parents had them out alot and the kids whose parents were first time parents and were really careful about when and where they take them out. Not to say that either way is bad and some kids are just more prone to sickness then others but at sometime they're going to be out around other kids unless you plan on exclusively homeschooling or something like that. I take my oldest with my everywhere and he is never sick but my youngest doesn't go out alot because he is so difficult and he gets sick all the time. I think part of has to do with dh also, he comes from a family of sickly hypochondriacs so I think he passed on some bad genes.
 

TheRealMacGyver

New member
mominabigtruck, (BTW I thought of some other names for you-convoymomma, white-linemommy, truckin4momma, haulin'mom, I could think of some others, but I'm getting a bit off topic here!)

I try to get him out of the house everyday. Usually to the grocery store, the park, Wally-World, Home Depot or Lowes, the local fishing pier, the beach, visit friends. That sort of thing. He isn't around many kids, mainly because we decided to let all of our friends to have kids young, then we kind of had an oops and here we are. So all of our friends have teenagers and we have a 1yo! Maybe we should get new friends :D We do actually have a couple of friends that started late like us though. I guess I just have to get through this, it's just painful seeing him sick, especially when you know exactly where it's coming from and that you could prevent it. I understand those of you saying he needs to get exposed, I just think it's easier to say after you've been through than when you're right in the middle of it like I am.
 

southpawboston

New member
Infants (under 6 months) who come into the daycare enviroment do not seem to go through the same "catching everything phase".

this is very true, and has to do with the fact that infants are born with the mother's full complement of antibodies, basically the mother's mature immune system, and therefore resistance. those antibodies start to die off in the infant's bloodstream after 5-6 months, and that is why infants start getting sick after 6 months. the maternal immune system is dying off and the infant has to start building up his/her own from scratch...by getting sick!
 

smurf

New member
I really feel for you.. my kids were sick all the time when they first started day care (about once every 4-6 weeks). They both started at 10 months and things went smoothly, apart from having to miss work to pick them up... It gets better with time, usually after age 2. So it makes for one "rough" year, and then it improves. But it's quite maddening to know that they wouldn't have gotten sick at home. Plus DH and I also catch all the bugs! On average, children who attend day care get about 13 infections per year (a little over one per month).

If that's any consolation, children who attend day care and get several infections are less likely to develop childhood leukemia http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?itool=abstractplus&db=pubmed&cmd=Retrieve&dopt=abstractplus&list_uids=11953850
 

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