Do you, or would you do this?

turtlemama

New member
Buy seats for other people?
I have bought car seats for 3 people so far that could not afford better ones than they had. Better being, not expired or got at a garage sale, and not a low back booster for a 3 yr old. I find myself trying to do this a lot. Dh really does not like it, but I feel really bad if I don't try and help the person that needs that seat. So far I gave my cousin a Cosco HBB (the harnessed one, I don't know what else it is called) for her really big 3 yr old. He already outgrew the harness though and I had plans on getting him a GN but she said she would be able to do it, hopefully soon. I bought her 1 yr old a Scenera and sent her baby my Baby Trend. The Scenera plus the cost of shipping the Baby Trend was over $100. I also bought a friend another Scenera for her DD because she had her in an OTH shield seat FF at 9 months. Just this week I ordered another friend a Maestro, and will be ordering her another one soon. That cost $180. I even was going to buy new seats for a stranger. I don't know if any of you remember my post about the lady that left her kids in the car, but I so badly wanted to march her back into Walmart and buy her proper seats. I just didn't have the guts to do it at the time.
Is there any easier way to do this without breaking the bank? I have told them several times about going to their health dept and I personally called Safe Kids for my one friend, but they just don't seem to understand that it is so important and they just kept procrastinating.
I really wish I could get something going in my community that really does teach parents how to use car seats properly and gets them the ones they need if they can't afford it. The health dept only does a 15 min class according to the lady at the Dr. office today that was telling her friend to go there and get a new seat. What got me (I really shouldn't have been listening in, but I heard car seats and couldnt help it) was they wanted to go there because they just didn't want to buy new seats for their kids. I imagine there are lots of people like that that just don't think it is that important and only buy them or use them because it is illegal not to.
 
ADS

stayinhomewithmy6

Senior Community Member
Will you be my friend? :p

Seriously, though, I have bought new seats for my niece, no one else. I give out our used seats fairly frequently, though, to family and friends, and buy new ones for us. That way, if a friend is in need, I can act like I was going to get rid of it anyway and make them not feel so bad about accepting it.
 

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
No, I don't. I might for a very very close friend or family member under exceptional circumstances. I especially wouldn't if my husband objected.

If they don't care enough to go to SafeKids, I am not going to spend my family's money. Tough, but true.
 

turtlemama

New member
I don't do it if DH says no, but if he says it's ok then I do. Usually he says no, which is probably why it has only been three people and just those two friends and my cousin. That, and we don't have that kind of money. I wish I was rich, then everyone who needed one that I knew or saw would get a car seat lol.
 

mumof2

New member
interesting you say this.

I am on a private facebook page and oned of the mums was worried that her then 11 month old daughter was getting to the limit of her carseat her daughter was 11.8kgs and the carseat only rearfaced to 12kgs but because of the lack of work she was unable to come with money for a new seat.

so I decided to ask the mums in the group (via private message) if they would like to donate money towards a carseat for her.

i think about 6 or so of us donated money towards a carseat...(cosco scenera).

just before the carseat was paid off I sent her a message saying that we had gotten her a new carseat that would allow her to RF her daughter for a bit longer..she had turned her (has for about 6 weeks)because she had reached the weightlimit.

she was truly blown away and really appreciative of what we had done she said the topic of rearfacing vs forward facing had often come up in their house but with money being so tight they simply could not afford a new seat for her daughter.

hopefully the carseat will arrive at her house early next week ::)
 

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
I am on a private facebook page and oned of the mums was worried that her then 11 month old daughter was getting to the limit of her carseat her daughter was 11.8kgs and the carseat only rearfaced to 12kgs but because of the lack of work she was unable to come with money for a new seat.

As I wrote, I might do it for good friends under special circumstances. I'd probably contribute to something like that. :)
 

turtlemama

New member
interesting you say this.

I am on a private facebook page and oned of the mums was worried that her then 11 month old daughter was getting to the limit of her carseat her daughter was 11.8kgs and the carseat only rearfaced to 12kgs but because of the lack of work she was unable to come with money for a new seat.

so I decided to ask the mums in the group (via private message) if they would like to donate money towards a carseat for her.

i think about 6 or so of us donated money towards a carseat...(cosco scenera).

Aww I would do that too, that is very nice!
I offered to help a lady on a private board that I go to as well, but she said no :(
 

wvmommy007

New member
I bought my cousin's 40 lb. 3 year old a Maestro. I didn't want to see him riding in a booster or an outgrown seat. It is the only gift seat I've bought. I actually gave it as his birthday gift. Yeah, I'm mean and boring. :p But he loved the cup holders. I would buy them for friends and family. I wouldn't spend our money on strangers who most likely wouldn't appreciate it (speaking only of my car seat misusing area). I would contribute to an online fund to help someone who wanted to keep a baby RF.
 

mamakc

Active member
Nope. If I could I'd buy one for everyone, but I can't. And bottom line, it's their responsibility. I'll give advice until my face is blue (not that it's even worth the effort), but as much as I want to, I cannot buy every child I know and love a new seat. What's the point anyway, when the parents leave the harness so loose the kid may as well be unrestrained.
 

henrietta

Well-known member
I lost my big long reply...but the short of it is this, HECK NO!!!

I have bought my niece & nephew more appropriate seats on fantastic sales, and one of them was one that they used in my car for months first. It was worth the money to me, b/c I was babysitting for them. I gave that seat to them to keep after they went into daycare.

Otherwise, strangers & friends, NO. The fact is that if you've given the info to someone and they choose not to attempt to use it themselves, they aren't likely to use it even if *given* the proper tools to use the info. $40-80 isn't that much money--drink water instead of beer/soda for a few months, quit smoking, cancel your cable, buy an older used car instead, stop going to get your nails done...it's about priorities. I get it when a single mom, working, going to school, and raising a baby & a toddler says she can't afford a new seat right now but would use one--yes, someone should help her--that's what hospital programs and such are for (or a donation from caring folks), but aside from that: FUND YOUR OWN RETIREMENT. Long after these kids grow up and their parents still haven't done anything, long after you've done all these nice things...they will have done nothing for you. Don't go broke over others ignorance, much as you want to help protect the kids from their parents stupidity. I'm not a tit for tat person--I'm as giving as you are and want to help--I want to give everyone a seat, too. But I gave away a lot of myself on one of my other passions, dogs, and that really hurt me in the end. There has to be a balance. We cannot save everyone, no matter how much we want to.

GL!

henrietta
 

christineka

New member
I'm a sucker for hard cases. If I can get a seat for free, I'll give it away to someone who needs it. If it is one of my older seats, I will offer a discounted price. I let people know about check events and the other resources available. In the end, I do believe the other person needs to take some responsibility on their own. I firmly believe, "Where there's a will, there's a way."
 
It is admirable to want to help everyone, but you may just be enabling them to continue to not learn how to do things for themselves. People appreciate things more, take better care of them, and feel better about themselves when they had something to do with whatever they have. Handouts are not the best way to help people.

Even in extreme situations, like poor villages in Africa with no running water, if an overseas group goes in and digs a well, then they leave and the well breaks, the villagers simply wait for their saviors to come back the next year and fix it.. again and again and again. But the organizations that go in and recruit the people that need the water, and train THEM to do the work, and train THEM to do the maintenance, THOSE people have the pride of "Look what WE did", and they take much better care of the equipment.

If nothing else, you could help someone find the best possible deal on a decent seat, and maybe even pay for PART of it, or nag them to take advantage of the programs that are out there ;), but to continually give seats as gifts probably does not help their situation in the long run. Of course, if you're giving it as a shower gift, that's different. :)

I have given away seats we had that we no longer needed, even if they were expired or soon-to-be-expired, with CLEAR INFORMATION about the fact that their use is NOT RECOMMENDED. I'm sure there are many who would not do this, but I figure, if you're using a 12-year-old seat, a 6-year-old seat is at least a little better. :(

Now, I'm in a quandary over something else -- I mentioned on Facebook that I was in a minor accident recently and need to replace our seats. One of my friends asked if she could have one of my old seats to use for her grandson! A CRASHED seat! Not only that, but the one I have that might be good for her (a Britax Marathon) is probably near the expiration! I really don't know what to tell her. :( And how would her son feel about her putting HIS son in an expired, crashed seat?? :eek: Color me flabbergasted.
 

icnee

New member
I mostly help people find a program for a seat or take them to get a check do with a tech that has the prper seat for them some parents are nervous so i will go with them.

Now if the parents really cant get them a seat. and they dont drink their money or just blow it then I will help them pay part of it or get it But I never let them know that I will get it. If they just dont want to spend the money then they aboviously dont care enough to use it right any how.

Only 2 families that I have helped did not continue to use them correctly.

one family was homeless and the other was out of work or so I thought but now he helps clear the snow with his plow and did a lot of my yard work in the summer so i guess it evened out.


one lady I met in walmart we were taking about baby shoes and then when I felt she was comfy enough with me I mentioned the car seat. 10yo 3point harnes threaded wrong. I was going to refer them to another tech with seats but she said they did not know when they would be back in the area ( they were buying food) where they live there is nothing and it is about 1 1/2 hours away so I had one avenue left and they waited there I went home got it went back met up with them and the baby left safely. Od seat left with me. The mom amd grama were very happy they had no idea that the seat was no good and by the reaction and their faces I beleive them.

( I had goton the avenues when they were $18 just for those times)

I will help people but I wont do it for them.
 

amp

New member
I wish I could!
I did give my sis one of my Britax seats for my niece (2 yr old), makes me sick thinking about what she was riding in.
 

2BunniesMommy

Well-known member
I did, but only because the seat was on clearance for $17 something. I bought 2 and gave one to my sister for my great niece. I had the other one for a spare. Then something happened to great niece's seat in her mom's car so I gave them that one too. For any regular price seat it would get too expensive too fast.
 

ketchupqueen

CPST and ketchup snob
Staff member
I've given clearanced seats that I had bought at great prices and then not used, just had sitting around my garage, away to strangers in a family that needed HWH etc. seats, and there were no local resources to get them any. And it was a special circumstance; a special family. It felt right to do it. Other than that, and a few gifts to my nieces, no. I refer them to appropriate programs. I help them find resources. I do what I can but no, I can't fund everyone's seats that I'd like to. For a friend in need I might help if I could, more likely with a seat I already had than buying a new one though (unless I found a great clearance price, again.)
 

bethng

Active member
Yes I have bought seats for my daycare, my step son and one of my students. I also have given my seats away to people.....I cant help it. I have to make sure everyone is safe.;)
 

cookie123

New member
I gave a MA to a friend for her granddaughter, and bought what seems like a million seats for the grandkids for my car, their car, their dad's car, etc. I wouldn't buy seats for a stranger. I would donate a few bucks online for a seat that someone I 'know' needed.
 

Judi

CPST/Firefighter
I put in money to help. Also, I have gotten seats from trusted sources and passed them on.
 

Car-Seat.Org Facebook Group

Forum statistics

Threads
219,655
Messages
2,196,895
Members
13,530
Latest member
onehitko860

You must read your carseat and vehicle owner’s manual and understand any relevant state laws. These are the rules you must follow to restrain your children safely. All opinions at Car-Seat.Org are those of the individual author for informational purposes only, and do not necessarily reflect any policy or position of Carseat Media LLC. Car-Seat.Org makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information on this site and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its display or use. All information is provided on an as-is basis. If you are unsure about information provided to you, please visit a local certified technician. Before posting or using our website you must read and agree to our TERMS.

Graco is a Proud Sponsor of Car-Seat.Org! Britax is a Proud Sponsor of Car-Seat.Org! Nuna Baby is a Proud Sponsor of Car-Seat.Org!

Please  Support Car-Seat.Org  with your purchases of infant, convertible, combination and boosters seats from our premier sponsors above.
Shop travel systems, strollers and baby gear from Britax, Chicco, Clek, Combi, Evenflo, First Years, Graco, Maxi-Cosi, Nuna, Safety 1st, Diono & more! ©2001-2022 Carseat Media LLC

Top