Question Was I way ou of line -- WWYD??

Kiss Me Deadly

New member
On January 2nd, my family and I were at a local Wal-Mart. When we got to the car, my husband realized that some of the things we paid for didn't make it into our bags, so he went back in to deal with that while I put the kids in the car. I was standing around waiting for him when a lady a couple of spaces down came out with a car seat in the box, proceeded to take it out and install it right there.

Te seat was an Evenflo Chase, and this woman was so frustrated installing it that she said that she was just going to put it in there and put the seatbelt around it. At that point, I couldn't sit there and not do something. I'm not a tech, but I was nice and said that sometimes it just takes an extra set of hands to get these things in. I read the manual, and began to show her where the belt path and everything was. Before we finished, I found out in the course of conversation that the child she was putting in it was only 6 months old! I told her that it was ILLEGAL to have a child that age forward facing, and I could not in good conscience let her baby leave in that seat.

So...

I took my 2 year old out of her rear facing RECARO, gave it to this lady and installed it in her car and let my 2 year old ride home in that POS Evenflo (Personally, I hate all Evenflo seats). She's never ridden FF before, but I knew she would at least be legally restrained for the 5 minute drive home as opposed to a 6 month old in a FF seat traveling out of state.

I'm not too upset by it because I felt like I did the right thing. We have a spare Roundabout, and I wanted a different seat for the 2 year old anyway, but, my husband is FURIOUS! He understands why I did what I did, but he doesn't like it at all! It led to an entire conversation (for the 100th time) about why the youngest one is still RF and everything!

Did I completely cross the line here? I did tell her from the get go that I was NOT a tech, and gave her the business card of our local tech and asked her to get everything checked out and help with finding a seat that worked for her, her child and her vehicle. The whole scenario is still nagging at me...
 
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jess71903

Ambassador
I have no problem with car seat savvy folks doing what they can to help obviously frustrated folks. I did it myself before I was a tech.

But, you gave a stranger your kid's expensive seat? THAT is not what I would have done! I would have gone back in with her if she was willing, and helped her get either a Scenera or a MyRide for the little one.
 

Dillipop

Well-known member
Why couldn't the lady return the evenflo and get a more appropriate choice? That's what I would have suggested to her. Now you have a seat that you don't like, probably won't get a seat back that you do like, and a husband who is upset with you.

I know hindsight is 20/20 and I think you did a nice thing, but it's not something I would have done.
 

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
Why couldn't the lady return the evenflo and get a more appropriate choice? That's what I would have suggested to her. Now you have a seat that you don't like, probably won't get a seat back that you do like, and a husband who is upset with you.

I know hindsight is 20/20 and I think you did a nice thing, but it's not something I would have done.

Agree on all counts.
 

menfusse

New member
I don't think you were out of line from a moral, ethical, or technical point of view, but from a practical one...kind of.

I guess I'm confused why you didn't encourage her to just exchange the chase for a scenera? Or some other convertible available in the store?

Otherwise, I don't see anything wrong with a car seat savvy person helping out someone in obvious distress with a car seat situation, especially if they are open to the help, and you encourage them to see a tech after the fact.
 

sunnymw

New member
IDK... if my funds were as tight as they are, I would not have given her my seat. I would have went back inside with the lady, had her exchange it for a Scenera, and then helped her (even though I'm not a tech).
 

TXDani

Senior Community Member
Out of line...no.

Insane...yes!

I don't blame your hubby for being pissed.
 

Amy7707

Active member
My husband would have reacted the exact same way if I gave away one of our seats. I probably would have tried to help the woman like you did, but I would have had her return the seat and exchange it for something else that would have worked in her situation.

Besides giving away the seat, I think you did a good thing. Especially referring her to a local tech :thumbsup:
 

mommy2env

Active member
Yeah, giving a way an expensive seat to a stranger. Yeah, out of line.

Just because she has an expensive seat, doesn't means she's actually going to use it the way you want her to. For all you know, she got home and turned it back around. So, the kid might still be unsafe, just in an expensive seat.

I'd lose it if my dh did that with a friend, let alone a stranger. :whistle:
 

cat mommy

New member
I don't think you were out of line from a moral, ethical, or technical point of view, but from a practical one...kind of.

I don't think you did anything wrong ....except giving away a nice seat to a stranger. :eek:
 

TXDani

Senior Community Member
The more I think about this the harder it is for me to believe that a lady that just spent her money on a brand new carseat would just hand it over to a stranger and take a used carseat in exchange. It isn't like she knew how expensive the Recaro was and that is why she was okay with it. Seems odd that someone would go along with that.
 

christineka

New member
I think that while it was nice of you to give up your expensive car seat, that it was not appropriate to do so without discussing giving it away with your husband. I agree with the others and urging the lady to go back into walmart to exchange her seat for a scenera would be the reasonable thing to do.
 

firemomof3

New member
I don't think you did anything wrong ....except giving away a nice seat to a stranger. :eek:

I agree. I gave my Recaro Vivo to a dad who just wouldn't get his 4y/o a booster :mad: This little boys is dd2 preschool class and it just killed me everytime he arrived in the front seat with just the seatbelt! He's had it for about a month now and his father uses it (it the back seat) and is thankful...so it doesn't bother me.
 

Kiss Me Deadly

New member
Re: Was I way out of line -- WWYD??

Thank you all for your opinions. I am now kicking myself just a little bit because it never even occurred to me to see if the lady would just exchange the seat in the store for a different one. That was definitely a stupid move on my part! I'd like to blame it on the combination of pregnant brain, being SO shocked over the blatant car seat misuse, and wondering if I was even doing the right thing by saying anything at all (I know people can get really offended).

As far as her taking my seat without any knowledge, I doubt she knew or cared that used seats aren't typically recommended, since she acted like she'd never seen an expiration date on a car seat when I pointed it out to her. I specifically did not mention the price of my seat, not being able to bear the thought of it going on Craigslist (fortunately consignment stores in my state are not allowed to sell car seats). But, I really don't know why she was willing to take my seat. I just hope she does the right thing by meeting with a tech. I have more car seats than my kids can actually use, so I'm not really mourning the loss too much.
 

babyherder

Well-known member
A kid is potentially A LOT safer cause of you. I'm not sure I would have done the same thing but it was very generous of you. And now that's its done, I wouldn't waste any time regretting it.
 

Baylor

New member
On January 2nd, my family and I were at a local Wal-Mart. When we got to the car, my husband realized that some of the things we paid for didn't make it into our bags, so he went back in to deal with that while I put the kids in the car. I was standing around waiting for him when a lady a couple of spaces down came out with a car seat in the box, proceeded to take it out and install it right there.

Te seat was an Evenflo Chase, and this woman was so frustrated installing it that she said that she was just going to put it in there and put the seatbelt around it. At that point, I couldn't sit there and not do something. I'm not a tech, but I was nice and said that sometimes it just takes an extra set of hands to get these things in. I read the manual, and began to show her where the belt path and everything was. Before we finished, I found out in the course of conversation that the child she was putting in it was only 6 months old! I told her that it was ILLEGAL to have a child that age forward facing, and I could not in good conscience let her baby leave in that seat.

So...

I took my 2 year old out of her rear facing RECARO, gave it to this lady and installed it in her car and let my 2 year old ride home in that POS Evenflo (Personally, I hate all Evenflo seats). She's never ridden FF before, but I knew she would at least be legally restrained for the 5 minute drive home as opposed to a 6 month old in a FF seat traveling out of state.

I'm not too upset by it because I felt like I did the right thing. We have a spare Roundabout, and I wanted a different seat for the 2 year old anyway, but, my husband is FURIOUS! He understands why I did what I did, but he doesn't like it at all! It led to an entire conversation (for the 100th time) about why the youngest one is still RF and everything!

Did I completely cross the line here? I did tell her from the get go that I was NOT a tech, and gave her the business card of our local tech and asked her to get everything checked out and help with finding a seat that worked for her, her child and her vehicle. The whole scenario is still nagging at me...

I think what you did was awesome and completely unselfish. I think it was a good Samaritan act and not many people would have that heart. I may have instead gone back in and had her get the right seat but what you did was an awesome thing.

It would have been much worse had that child left in the seat with a seat belt around it forward facing. good job. Kid went home safe in a great seat.
 

mommy2env

Active member
If the baby was only 6 months old, how did you not notice that before she told you? Even if he was huge, at most he'd look like a 1 yr old. And we all know that even 1 yr olds are much safer rear facing.

Also, are you in a position to be so generous? Or did you just put your husband in a pickle? Having to spend at least $200 for a new seat?
 

Lulu

New member
Any chance you can return the seat to Wal-Mart and at least get a store credit? It sounds like you have another seat and won't be using the new one. You might as well get "paid" for your seat.

The situation does sound really weird. You must have caught her off guard if she was okay buying a brand new seat at Wal-Mart only to leave with a stranger's used seat of unknown value. Very bizarre.
 

LISmama810

Admin - CPS Technician
If the baby was only 6 months old, how did you not notice that before she told you? Even if he was huge, at most he'd look like a 1 yr old. And we all know that even 1 yr olds are much safer rear facing.

I assumed from reading that the kid wasn't actually there.

Yeah, I agree with the others. Your HEART was in the right place, but...

If you guys had been stranded in the middle of nowhere, that would have been an awesome solution. But you were "stranded" in a WalMart parking lot.

Anyway, you certainly didn't do anything bad, just... a little odd.
 

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