Best way to approach someone about not using a car seat for his grandson

msg221

Well-known member
I was leaving work today and my co-worker's wife came to pick him up and was waiting in front of our building. He had the door open to the back seat of their SUV and I saw his 3 year-old grandson sitting in the back seat, no car seat, just seat belted in. I had no idea how to approach him. I probably should have said something right there, but I didn't know how he or his wife would react. So I just hoped that they'd be safe on the drive home and figured I'd think about how I would bring it up with him tomorrow.

I just want to say something to him in a helpful way, not making him feel bad. I think he would be receptive. I know he cares for his grandson very much just by how he talks about him all the time, shows us pictures and how proud he is when he brings him in. I just hope that his grandson isn't being transported this way in his mother's car.

What is the best way to bring this up with him? Something like "I saw you as we were leaving work yesterday and I happened to see that you had J with you but noticed he wasn't in a car seat . . ." But then what? I've been thinking about this ever since I left work!
 
ADS

cat mommy

New member
9-1-1! For something that extreme, I would have called and let the police educate him. (I'm assuming you know the child is 3, and not just estimating his age.)

I would try to approach him in a way that offers a solution not just "you need to put him in a carseat." Can you approach him from the perspective of telling him you saw a good deal on X carseat at Y store and that carseat would be the right fit for this child and is easy to install and you would be happy to teach him to install it because you are a tech and what he is doing is illegal and unsafe.
 

msg221

Well-known member
Yes, I do know that he is 3 for sure.

It was just a really hard situation because I honestly don't believe that he would intentionally endanger his grandson plus I didn't want to say it the wrong way then cause a whole lot of friction with someone I have to work closely with every day. I'm thinking that maybe he really doesn't know any better. But I also know that he and his wife babysit their grandson a lot, so I would hope the child's mother (my co-worker is her father) knows better, but then again, I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't either.

I was looking at seats and found a Matrix Nautilus on Amazon for $138. I was thinking the Nautilus because it should last a good long time. Or the Maestro, since it seems to be an often recommended seat and more budget friendly. There weren't any on Amazon and I wonder if that is due to the recent recall. I have still seen them at Target though.

I will try my best to figure out how to bring up the subject. At least tell him that if he does ride that way on a regular basis, that it is illegal and he probably would want to get him a seat, especially since the police dept. is two blocks away!
 

zactayaus

Well-known member
I would say something like "I don't know if you are aware of this or not but I am a child passenger safety technician. It's my job to educate people on how to safely transport their kids in their vehicles. I couldn't help but notice that your adorable little grandchild was not riding in a car seat. Would it be ok if I gave you some information on why it's so important that he be properly restrained in your car. I'd also love to give you some recommendations on a few seats that I think would work well for you guys." Or something along those lines.
 

msg221

Well-known member
I ended up e-mailing my co-worker, hoping that it might avoid a defensive reaction if I was talking to him face to face. One of the first things I said was that I wasn't saying it to be critical or judgmental, only out of concern for his grandson. I even ran it by another co-worker who knows him and she said it sounded perfect, so I sent it. He came over a few minutes later and thanked me and said that I was right and that normally he does have a seat (although it sounded like his grandson has a NBB :( ) and that he was going to call his wife and tell her she needs to put him in a seat if he is coming with her. I guess yesterday she was leaving to pick him up and at the last minute, he wanted to go with her so she went ahead and put him in the car with just the seat belt. Anyway, I recommended some seats to him since he also thought it would be best if they had their own seat for their vehicle. I hope that he follows through!
 

cat mommy

New member
Good! I suspected it was kind of an unplanned trip. It sucks to have to have these kind of conversations, doesn't it? :thumbsdown:
 
S

SpoonMum

Guest
Oh really glad he handled it well and that his grandson usually has a car seat! Have you seen him with just a belt on since then? Hope not :)
 

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