6 Month Old Forward Facing!?

I've been lurking on your forum for awhile now and have run into something potentially scary.

At my mommy group there was a newcomer yesterday. Her 5 1/2 month old is 21.5 pounds and her seat was some sort of Graco bucket. She was talking about forward facing him!

I know the law here is 1 year, 20 lbs and will be changing to 1 year, 22 pounds and walking unassisted in January. She seemed unconcerned because he is big and strong for his age. We pointed out that it's much safer for LO's to be Rfing as long as possible. She just sort of shrugged.

Other than calling the police on her everytime she leaves group, what can I do? Like I said, she is new to our group so it's not like I can FB her a link to the you tube videos that convinced me to RF Emi as long as I can.

I would just tell her what you learned about RF-ing, suggest she do her own research, and say something simple like "Since we know rear-facing is safer, it makes sense to me to keep them that way as long as possible. I'm so glad they make seats now that go to 45lbs". And leave it at that. She knows.

Is your local police RCMP? If so, I am quite certain they are WAY overworked and WAY understaffed. If you want to talk to the police about this, I suggest you walk into your local detachment and speak to a police officer in person and see what they want you to do. PLEASE don't call 911. If you call the non-emergency number, ask to speak to an officer. And don't call every time she leaves unless the cops want you to. Just give them her name & plate number once and be done with it.

I would explain to the mom 2 things. One is that the vast majority of child restraints require that children be 1 year age minimum before turning forward facing, and that if her child was injured or killed in the seat while using it against instructions the manufacturer wouldn't be liable.

The 2nd is that babies with good muscle control still don't have the strength to hold their head when they are forward-facing in a collision. Under the age of 1 a child's head accounts for approximately 25% of their body weight. To put this in to perspective, that would be like a 200lb adults having a 50lb head - no adult would be able hold 50lbs of weight on their neck under the forces of a collision - a lot of times that number helps things make sense.

One other thing? Babies who are rear-facing tend to sleep in the car and are more comfortable. When a baby is forward facing he is going to have horrible head slump and at 6 months I would have some minor concern about positional asphyxia even in a child with good muscle tone.. they simply don't sleep bolt upright at that age, and I would be concerned that the airway would still be in the process of developing enough that there could still be some vulnerability to being too upright at his age... We wouldn't have a rf'ing child upright enough to have chin-to-chest head slump at that age, but you can pretty much guarantee that kind of slump when you put a baby in a ff'ing restraint.

And I guess one more thing... A ff'ing restraint is called a child restraint. Does she consider her 6 month old to be an infant or a child? (This may or may not work depending on mom... but perhaps the phrasing may mean something to her? Infants rear face, children forward-face.)

At this point, I would really focus on car seat manufacturers not allowing ff'ing before 1yr old (unless she went searching for the 2 models that do allow it...) and hopefully at least get the kid to 1 yr old.

I really hope you can get information to this mother so that she can see just how dangerous it would be for her to forward face her baby.

My stepdaughter was just telling me the other day about a friend/acquaintance who has a very large 3 month old and while talking to her, this mother mentioned that her son is outgrowing his seat and mentioned FF him! My stepdaughter said she "freaked" and told her she can get him a convertible seat and keep him RF, that she cannot FF him. I hope she listens to her or does her own research!

I also think I need to quit putting off getting those business cards I wanted to have done now that I'm a tech. This way my stepdaughters can hand them out should they come across situations like this again, which I am sure they will as this isn't the first time I've heard car seat horror stories relayed to me by them.

There are car seats that don't require RF under 1 year? Seriously? I thought they were going for 1yr & 22 & walking & that the 1yr had been standard for a very long time...

As for the mom. The one thing I learned after being in 4 different mommy groups, is there will always be at least one that will do as she choices no matter what you say/do. I might try & give her a written brochure that shows her the law & reasons for it...along w/ what the PPs said, focus on facts...

And, she's not FF the babe in the bucket, is she?

Personally, I would not bother w/ the police, especially if you are the one *complaining* about her car seat use....She'll know where the call came from & some people are a bit crazy...

Since she's new, I'd probably stop inviting her to the groups meetings, if that's possible. Wouldn't want her to influence when others FF...so sad, but some people just need an excuse.

tam

Does she, by chance, have older children? Back in the day, it used to be recommended in Canada that infants could be turned forward when they were 20 lbs., had good neck strength, and could sit unassisted (or something lame like that--it might have even been pull to a stand).

What I have found IRL is that parents have a kid then think they know it all. Another kid comes along a few years later and the parents still think they know the safety issues, but actually, research has come a long way and what that parent knows is now considered dangerous. Since this mom is considering ff a 6 month old, it sounds to me like she has an older kid and hasn't kept up with the times. The vast majority of new parents know to keep kids rf to 1 and 20 at least. Talking to this kind of parent takes a different approach.

You may also want to explain to her than the old 20 lb minimum cam from a time when there simply were no seats that had higher weight limits - kinds HAD to FF at 20 lbs because that's the highest weight available. It had nothing to do with the safety of FF, only the seats being manufactured at the time. Even then the AAP recommended RF "as long as possible" and the Swedes were RF to four because THEY had they seats to do so.

Thanks for all the tips. To answer a few things:

-We have a large municipal police force, not the RCMP
-I'm not sure if she considers him an infant or a child. I might try using that terminolgy with her.
-She does have an older son, somewhere around two I believe she said.
-I don't think she is FFing the bucket. Is that even possible to belt in?

I just feel bad for this little guy. Hopefully we can kinda bring it up this week if she comes again.