No matter how hard I try, I just can't wrap my brain around people who don't seem to care...

luckyclov

New member
When you know better, you do better. I see this said a lot around here and I think it's perfect...very precise.

I know I've certainly made mistakes throughout my 8 years of child restraint use. From turning my firstborn forward-facing at 20 lbs and not 20 lbs AND 1 year (nevermind the fact that even that would have been too soon, in my *now* opinion), to too loose/wrong slot harnesses, non-secure mirrors, etc... But when I was either made aware of by someone else or found out on my own, my misuse, I was grateful and eager to correct it...and learn more.

But what I do not understand are those people out there who just seem not to care...who get pissy when you (tactfully - and genuinely concerned) try to give them a head's up. There's no shame in being "innocently unware" (although, I admit, I don't think it's particulary difficult to read a manual). The shame comes when you refuse to make a change that could potentially make a significant difference in the event of an accident. They know, but have no desire to do better.

But then you have those who want to know and WANT to do better. I was getting my DS out of his car seat the other day at Target (minivan slider), just as another woman, next to me, was loading her toddler ( 2-ish years old) daughter. She asked me what the deal was with my RF tether (MA70). I told her it was optional, only allowed by 2 manufacturers, and that I would be comfortable with or without it, as long as we were RF'ing, but that I did like the option. It lead to a conversation about her car seat and it's install...which eventually lead to the realization that her FF Alpha Omega had been expired since 2008 (she didn't know restraints expired). She went back into Target and bought a MyRide...(I had never dealt with a MR in person before - I really like it!)...*RF*! She was really, really thankful...and it was a happy ending! :)

Sigh.
 
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lorismurph

Senior Community Member
It's frustrating isn't it? Even as a CPST, a lot of people don't listen or don't care. All I can do is think that if I save even one life, I've done my job (even if that is only my own kid). All we can do is try to educate and then leave it up to the parent to make the decision.
 

andre149

New member
It is so frustrating!! But good for you for making a little girl much safer than she was on her way to Target :)
 

TXmom2

New member
Glad you educated that mom and made her little girl safer :thumbsup:

I know what you mean though. It makes me so sad to see FF 1 year olds or improperly installed seats. I saw a FF infant bucket in a car the other day with what looked to be a 2 year old in it :eek: My DH had to drag me away...

A friend of mine (a firefighter no less) turned his 11 month old son FF because he was "getting too tall" :( I told him that I didn't know with my oldest but the new recommendations were to keep your child RF to the limits of their seat and that we are planning to keep our 16 month old RF as long as possible in her EFTA. When I got home I sent him a link for Joel's Journey and asked him to just research it a little. All he said was, "well, he likes being able to see me" and "he's not in my car THAT much" :thumbsdown: His son just turned 12 months and is still FF (at least in Dad's car) I'm hoping that he is at least RF in Mom's car....
 

momtoo3

Well-known member
My older 2 boys were turned at 1 yr because the pediatrician told me to and I didn't know better. My youngest is 2 and ERF in my van (primary vehicle) but FF in my husband's car becuase the seat (Radian) was interfering with my husbands vision and comfort. I would rather it be RF but I know that it is properly installed FF which to me is better than my husband putting it in wrong RF since he was insisting on taking it out when not in use while RF. We just turned him in our truck that is rarely used and usually only in the summer for camping since he outgrew the AOE by height RF and my 5 yr old outgrew the harness on his GN at the same time. So now my 2 yr old is in the GN and my 5 yr old has a ProBOOSTER. I am okay with that since he most likely won't ride in there until May and will be 3 in September.
Anyways it drives me crazy that the 1 yr old I watch must be FF per his parents requirement. They told me to switch him FF last month after he turned 1 in Sept. I argued about ERF and they basically said FF or they will find someone who will do as they say with their child. I need my job so I typed up a letter and made them sign it saying that I would not be held responsible if he was injured in an accident. I still don't like it but I need the paycheck. They dont even click both harness buckles in in their vehicles and the straps are so far behind him FF that they come from the sides of his arms instead of over the shoulders. I have tried to talk to them about it and even fixed the installs of the seats several times but it is always wrong when I see it again. Their 5 yr old does not use a booster in their cars and teases my 5 yr old that he has a baby seat (HBB now that he outgrew the GN.) I make him sit in a NBB in the rare occasion that I drive him anywhere since they are in Full Day Kindergarten and take the bus. I would rather a HBB but I really only transport him about 4 times a yr now so I don't want to spend the money.
I do what is safest for my kids but can't seem to get anyone to understand when I try to help keep their kids safe too. It is so frustrating!
 

momto3girls

Senior Community Member
I feel the same way. I've been trying to work with a mom who knows her 3yr old isn't safe in a hbb. The child puts the shoulder belt behind her. I've talked to her about it and arranged to get her a free harnessed seat at a check. All she had to do was show up and she didn't. :( That's the most frustrating part. Now I have let it go and hope nothing ever happens.
 

luckyclov

New member
I've been trying to work with a mom who knows her 3yr old isn't safe in a hbb. The child puts the shoulder belt behind her
Oh, man, I'd lose my mind on that case.
I've always been big on carseat/car safety, but it wasn't hardcore until 2 years ago. A family we knew from church (mother, 2 sons) got into a head-on collision - low speed, but head-on, nonetheless. The mother was fine (some ankle injuries, but fine). The 1-year old *FF* boy was fine...no injuries whatsoever. The 5-year old boy in a lowback booster with the shouder belt around his back? He's in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, completely dependent on other people...he was in a halo for awhile and they weren't even sure he was, initially, going to survive.
 

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