I am having a moment of weakness. I've lost the RF 'bug'.

Glitter

New member
Hi, I usually just lurk these forums, but I am posting today because I used to be overly zealous about ERF. Now, I'm not so sure. My family thinks I'm being over protective with still RF my 2.5 year old, and I'm starting to agree! It's hard to keep it up when your kid has figured out how to use the back seat as leverage to fight you to get it it, is constantly calling your name in the car to see if you are still there, and just straight up hates it. We never had this problem FF.

Plus, I see NO ONE in real life RF even thier 1 year olds.
I'm not sure if I'm looking for some one to talk me back into trucking on through the difficulties or maybe I'm just venting. I mean, do we actually know how many kids over 2 years old are actually suffering broken necks each year because they are FF? Without showing me some tragic youtbue videos like joel, is there actually any reports pertaining the the USA? I think I've read just about every report out there, including the British one that said RF to 4.
 
ADS

Glitter

New member
I think I may have come off a little harsh on my post, so just to clarify, I am just feeling frustrated right now, with no one I know to back up my decision, and also am questioning things myself. So maybe I am looking for reassurance that 2 year olds SHOULD stay RF. It's just such a struggle every time we go anywhere.
 

emtb79

New member
Im so feeling it right now with you too. I have my first one that I am ERF in my daycare van. I have him in a BLVD70 and its getting tight to manuver to get the straps out from under neath of him cause he climbs in himself. Also in my van it hard cause he's in the 3rd row. Im going to keep trucking on because he likes it and is no longer a car sick kid. So I will be moving seats around again.
 

cookie123

New member
Most people just don't realize the increased safety benefits of rear facing.

I DO know, and i know I'd be devastated if anything happened to the kids and they weren't as protected as I could make them. I'd never get over the guilt. Also Matthew doesn't put up any fuss regarding his car seat or rear facing. He's seems comfortable, and there's never a fight. He does ff is his dad's car, but rf with his mom, stepdad and me.
 

ketchupqueen

CPST and ketchup snob
Staff member
My 2 1/2 year old fights getting in RF. You know what? My second child was FF at 2 1/2 (no HWRF seats out then) and she fought getting in FF-- and it was HARDER because she could go rigid and slide all the way to the floor!

As much as it sucks fighting her when she wants to ride in her sister's seat, not in her RF seat, I know it's what she has to do to be safe. Just like I made my 4 year old go in for an MRI when she had a seizure of unknown cause, even though she didn't want to, I make my 2 1/2 year old ride rear-facing as long as we have a seat that fits her to do so, because I am the parent, and it's my job to keep her as safe and healthy as I can whether she likes it or not. I hate being the "bad guy" and the "mean mommy" but I do it because I love her and I know at her age rear-facing is safer, and I have the means to keep her so (lucky me! Many parents don't!) and the knowledge that it is best to do so (again, lucky me!) so I will.

Child passenger safety is a woefully understudied field. We take our data where we can get it but it's often little and far between. There's not much compiled and studied data in the US on rear-facing because most kids don't rear-face past 1. Somewhere there is a list of injuries and death and sometimes you can read whether the kid was RF or FF (sometimes not.) Maybe someone can find that for you, I know I've seen it...
 

momto3girls

Senior Community Member
After age 2 there's no research showing it's safer. However, I believe it is. THe laws of physics don't change. My 3.5yr old is rear facing and will be until at least 4yrs. She used to be ff and I switched her back around rf after I knew the benefits. I couldn't live with myself if something happened and I didn't do the best I could to protect her.

I also have a 22 month old rf. She does the pushing on the back of the seat thing. I remember my oldest 2 going through a phase where they would arch their back and slide down the ff seat. With rf they can't go anywhere. This is when I tickle the belly to get her to bend. Hang it there I bet it's just a phase. Bribery works too. ;)

I'm the only one around here with a rf 3.5yr old and a 7 yr still in a hbb. Just say no to peer pressure. Tell them it's safer and leave it at that.
 

Jennifer mom to my 7

Well-known member
Have you seen this video OP? It shows exactly what happens when rear facing versus forward facing, and why rear facing is safer, without being all tear jerky. Just the facts, and it is quite short, too:)

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sssIsceKd6U&feature=player_embedded"]YouTube - Rear facing vs forward facing position in the car[/ame]
 

Baylor

New member
From a mom who would love to rear face her 2.5 yr old but can't..( he is 42 lbs and over every car seat limit available to me) I would tell you keep him RF as long as you can. God forbid you do get in a wreck. The last thing you want to say is .. IF I ONLY...

yeah.. people will say you are nuts and make fun of you.. but you will know that you did the best you could to make sure he was safe.

Take a breath and know that just like anything else in parenting often the right thing is not the easiest!! Hugs!
 

Baylor

New member
Watching that video.. Can you even imagine someone not putting their child in a good car seat? UGH.
 

hrice

New member
My 28 month old has started fighting again and it is a struggle almost every time we buckle up but it doesn't bother me all that much because I know RF is what is safest for him. Honestly I don't care how much of a pain in the ass it is. Safety always trumps convenience with me.
 

Glitter

New member
My posts are not showing up right away, so please forgive me if my responses seem out of order.

My 2 1/2 year old fights getting in RF. You know what? My second child was FF at 2 1/2 (no HWRF seats out then) and she fought getting in FF-- and it was HARDER because she could go rigid and slide all the way to the floor! ..................Somewhere there is a list of injuries and death and sometimes you can read whether the kid was RF or FF (sometimes not.) Maybe someone can find that for you, I know I've seen it...

I actually found it easier when FF. I think you are talking about the study that is posted up on Joel's Journey. I read that, too. But that seems to be the only in-depth review out there on the subject.

Of course I want my child safe, but RF is 5xs safer than what, pretty darn safe to begin with? I don't really know what I'm expecting to get out of posting this. It's probably 1/2 venting and 1/2 hoping for a pep talk!
 

aeormsby

New member
I must admit I'm kind of looking forward to DS gaining a few more pounds and turning 3 so I can turn him FF. He doesn't fight the carseat/RF and I really have no problems with him RF - he's just getting a little squished in his MA. I'll wait until he's close to the RF limit though (I don't like weight constantly to eke out every last ounce, so I turn them when their within a couple lbs of the limit)
 

Mom-of-Two

New member
LOVE that video, it is the one I show to ALL people who ask about ERF and it's the one I randomly post on my FB page. ;)

It is clear, to the point, EXACTLY what happens in both scenarios- and is brief and not a sad tragic video, which can really PUT OFF some parents who are watching. It does pull the point home for many, but I think I like this video even more than the KDM, Belle's Gift, Joel, etc. out there.

My 33 mo old just maxed out his MA (33lb) and while I am happy with getting to almost 3 RF, I am STILL thinking of moving him back till 4ish. My DH is supportive of ERF, and was fine to do it as long as I wanted, but is not so fond of turning him BACK around now that's been FF for a month or two now, and we'd have to buy a new seat.

So I am still unsure.

Don't give in to anyone else, make up your own mind and if you choose to FF, make it YOUR informed decision. If your child fits in the seat RF, my response is always to keep ERF as long as possible.
 

Mommy0608

New member
My 2 year old (almost 27 months) is throwing awful fits getting into his seat every single time now, and it's gone on for a few weeks. It's terrible! :( Right now I'm actually injured and it makes it even MORE difficult, but I refuse to turn him FF. My reason is that I would not be able to live with the guilt if we got in a crash with him FF at this age and he suffered preventable injuries (or worse!) I leave the house a few minutes early every time we go somewhere now because I know it'll take extra time to buckle him. He hasn't vocalized his wishes, but he acts like he wants to turn FF. He climbs in his seat and immediately turns himself around to face forward. My bare minimum is age 3... not 2 years, 11 months and 3 weeks. Exactly 3 years, longer if possible. My 4yo DD is FF in my vehicle and RF in DH's, by her choice. I turned her at around 3.5 because at that time, she was just about at the 35lb limit on her seats. She's dropped a few pounds now and could easily RF another year or more, but she made her preference very clearly known that she wanted to FF in my van. She was FF in DH's car for a while and asked to turn back RF, so we let her.

Sorry, that was long-winded. All that just to say that you have to decide what YOU are comfortable with... no one can predict when we will be involved in a crash. We have to make our choices so that we won't have guilt if something does occur.
 

all together ooky

New member
I have a 2 1/2 year old too that has fought on occasion. Most of the time though it's because she's so independent and wants to do it herself. I also made the parental decision to use a soft sided mirror attached to the vehicle headrest. She can see me and I can see her and it works out really well.

But, yes, there are times when I want to turn her especially because she's getting so tall and so near the weight limit (33lbs) of her radian. But, I know too that I will probably buy a new radian so I can get to 4 years (hopefully). At least then their vertebrae are starting to fuse. I don't want a "if only" moment.
 

NebraskaMom

New member
In the You Tube video, the RF harness is positioned above the shoulders isn't it? I'm assuming no chest clip because it's not a U.S. made demonstration and other countries have different regulations...right? Could this be the reasoning for the harness as well?
 

HayleyCPST

New member
Glitter,
you have been doing a great job keeping him RF past 1 yr and 20lbs! Especially since you feel a bit of pressure from your friends and family. It's hard, but stay strong. I get so much criticism from families I work for that booster their 3 yr olds while they are still RF in my car.

In the You Tube video, the RF harness is positioned above the shoulders isn't it? I'm assuming no chest clip because it's not a U.S. made demonstration and other countries have different regulations...right? Could this be the reasoning for the harness as well?

Yes, it is. That's because most European seats can be installed much more upright than the US seats can. See the angle the RF seat is at? about 20. For RF in Sweden, it's at or above the shoulders for the harness, same with FF.
The chest clip isn't necessary in the european seats because the harnesses are much closer together. And the threading of the harness is opposite of US seats. Looking at the seat, the harness is threaded over and up through the crotch buckles, so that the part on the child's chest is closer to them.

ETA: see picture below
8ea540d1-1.jpg
 
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emandbri

Well-known member
Elizabeth went through a stage like that. I posted here for ideas and safeinthecar suggested rewarding her with a cute drawing on her hand with a marker when she sat in her seat without fighting me, it totally worked! :thumbsup:
 

cpsaddict

New member
I completely understand and my DD is only 18mths. I have no intention of turning her, but that doesn't mean I love the logistics of rearfacing. I actually hate it. She gets in herself, but ends up sitting on the straps, then I have dig them out. She is content for approximately 5 minutes in the seat and then fusses/screams the whole ride, everywhere we go. It's horrible. I don't feel like a bad mom for wanting to FF because I am not going to FF. I have to do lots of things I don't love and rf'ing is one of them.
Oh, and no I don't need an easier to use seat. I have a Marathon 70, so pretty darn easy, but right now rf'ing is annoying.
 

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