Frustrated & Defeated

StillThankful

New member
I had to get this off my chest and you guys are the only ones who can relate:

Three situations concerning car seats frustrate me--one more than the other (#2):

1. My friend just had their first baby--a cute baby boy. She and her husband had just come from shopping and came back with some car seat accessories. I mentioned to her and her husband that harness comfort-covers aren't good to use because 1/car seat companies don't test their product with the harness covers on and 2/ most of the harness covers prevent you from positioning the chest clip where it's supposed to be--at armpit level. The father of the baby told me that the chest clip goes in the middle of chest--pointing to his diaphram. I disagreed and restated the above, then he disagreed with me. I then snapped and said I have two kids, have used both an infant seat and a convertible seat, and am a member of Car-Seat.org and I know what I'm talking about--I didn't yell but was "snappy and curt." The room fell silent. I then explained why the chest clip should be at arm-pit level--compression issues. I then apologized for being snappy and blamed it on my cousin's lack of judgment or whatever you want to call it concerning her car seat--story of her is below.

2. My cousin has a 9 month old son, which she turned around FFing because the EFTA wouldn't fit RFing in her 94 acura integra. While we attended a rival high school football game together, she saw me putting DD2 in her Rfing seat and stated that she took her son out of the infant seat and put him in the EFTA. She turned him around b/c the seat was so big. It didn't alarm me then because I kept thinking that he was close to DD2's age--20 months--not sure what I was thinking--cold, tired, ready to go home after the game. Then I got home and thought about it--HE IS 9 MONTHS OLD FFing! I called her the next day but her grandmother answered the phone and told her about the importance of Rfing--internal decapitation, lack of neck muscle development and strength. She defended my cousin's actions by saying that there wasn't any room to keep him Rfing and "you know how kids are today--they don't listen to nobody." This is the kicker--WE SOLD HER THAT CAR! I told her that while we owned that car, we had a convertible car seat which fit fine both in the center and outboard positions just fine and that I would be willing to install it for her today. Well, when my cousin came home, she still used the excuse of "it won't fit" even after her grandmother relayed my message and importance of Rfing.

3. I have explained to my friend previously about the importance of using the top tether while FFing. While she and her fiance were watching, I strapped the top tether into the proper position. They were surprised because they didn't know the purpose of the anchors in his car--I said that the tethers help reduce head excursion. Well, she comes over the house yesterday and I walk out to the car with her to see her daughter. I notice that the top tether is not being used--I get frustrated and ask her why she is not using it. She said that she takes the carseat out alot and forgets to use it. I told her the she is lucky to have anchors already installed in the car--I had to order parts from Honda--get a knife, cut the felt-like material in my back dash to install the anchor! I said it only takes about 10 seconds to install it. To top it off, she has her little one FFing in a Cosco Scenera but she's not at the proper weight to do that yet (30 something #s). She ignored me on that point about a year ago--saying that she had never heard anything like that before--even though it's in the manual.

GRRRR..... All these women above are great moms. I'm just perturbed that something so simple in keeping your child safe is constantly ignored or rebuked. It's not like it costs more to keep your child Rfing--I just don't get it. I really don't. I post so many things on my facebook page about the importance of Rfing and I feel like I don't make a difference. I am not exaggerating--I DON'T KNOW ONE PERSON WHO ERFs!! I feel like my efforts are in vain. I just feel defeated.
 
ADS

wendytthomas

Admin - CPST Instructor
Staff member
Sorry people around you are frustrating. I try not to talk about it too much.

The chest clip has zero to do with compression. It's a pre-crash positioner to keep the shoulder straps on the shoulders. If it's at the nipple/armpit level then the straps shouldn't be able to come off of the shoulders, or be off the shoulders. If it's too low, the straps can pull down the shoulders, leading to ejection. If the harness is properly snug, though, a chest clip is a secondary item. Seats in Europe don't have them.

Wendy
 

wvmommy007

New member
I don't know anyone (besides you people :) ) who ERFs either. I consider babies who actually RF to 1 and 20 lucky, based on the usage I see around here. WV's booster seat law is age 8, but I see toddlers in just seat belts just about every time I leave my driveway. I don't understand why parents choose to ignore car seat safety and then panic over minor things. I feel your frustration.
 

ketchupqueen

CPST and ketchup snob
Staff member
The chest clip could also potentially cause injury in a moderate to severe impact if it's positioned too low. The sternum, where it is supposed to be positioned, is the strongest part of the chest. Lower down you have no bone protection, only soft squishy tissue over vital organs.
 

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
30# is safe to FF in a Scenera if the child meets the age and height requirements, and a chest clip isn't a huge deal. Pick your battles in order to save your friendships and your sanity.
 

StillThankful

New member
Yep. I know I can't control anything--I just need help delivering the message without letting my frustration get the best of me. It just seems so simple to ERF or FF with top tether.

*Sigh*

You wouldn't believe the amount of people who think I'm crazy for Rfing DD1 until she was 4. But I always get this response "my doctor said it was fine to FF her at 1." Me against a doctor--the doctor will win all the time.
 

jujumum

Well-known member
Kudos for trying!! I personally rarely talk to people about ERF, probably because I know so few people with kids under 10 close enough to do so.:)

But, I do keep some Kyle David Miller Foundation Kindness cards in my purse to hand out (or place on a windshield) when needed and a bumper sticker on my van.

With one view of the heartbreaking video, I was sold on car seat safety hook line and sinker.
 

mumof2

New member
With one view of the heartbreaking video, I was sold on car seat safety hook line and sinker.


I was the same thats why I liked the radian as it harnesses FF to 80lbs and also watching Joels journey was enough to make me want to ERF
 

StillThankful

New member
Kudos for trying!! I personally rarely talk to people about ERF, probably because I know so few people with kids under 10 close enough to do so.:)

But, I do keep some Kyle David Miller Foundation Kindness cards in my purse to hand out (or place on a windshield) when needed and a bumper sticker on my van.

With one view of the heartbreaking video, I was sold on car seat safety hook line and sinker.

Great idea! Can I find the Kindness cards online? I think that's a great nonconfrontational way to get the word out:)
 

momtoeliza

New member
Sorry to jump in, but I had a rough week with this! Everyone I know turns their babies FF at a year (well, almost, the little one I watch a few days a week is still RFing at 23 months :)) but that doesn't even make me as crazy as seeing super, super loose harnesses. I swear I've seen so many kids recently that I could have pulled out of their car seats without unbuckling anything. How hard is it to tighten a strap?

How does everyone handle car seat safety issues within their families? I have an 11 month old niece and one on the way soon. I obviously hope that my brother and SIL choose to ERF but I'm worried about creating strife if I push it too much. We have a great relationship but I already have the reputation as the know-it-all older sister with my brother and I know that things get much more emotionally charged when parenting decisions are added to the mix.

You wouldn't believe the amount of people who think I'm crazy for Rfing DD1 until she was 4. But I always get this response "my doctor said it was fine to FF her at 1." Me against a doctor--the doctor will win all the time.

If it makes you feel any better, my DH *is* a doctor in the pediatric intensive care unit and I still haven't been able to convince my friends and neighbors to ERF :shrug-shoulders:
 

wendytthomas

Admin - CPST Instructor
Staff member
You wouldn't believe the amount of people who think I'm crazy for Rfing DD1 until she was 4. But I always get this response "my doctor said it was fine to FF her at 1." Me against a doctor--the doctor will win all the time.

"Really? My doctor read the journal Pediatrics article the AAP put out about rear facing to at least two and he's thrilled my daughter is still rear facing. Do you want a copy to bring in for your pediatrician?"

Wendy
 

StillThankful

New member
"Really? My doctor read the journal Pediatrics article the AAP put out about rear facing to at least two and he's thrilled my daughter is still rear facing. Do you want a copy to bring in for your pediatrician?"

Wendy

Sorry for the misunderstanding but I meant "their" doctor. I've heard two moms say that their doctor told them that it's fine to turn their kid FF at 12 months; therefore, I lose everytime. I am not a tech, so they just kind of look at me oddly and continue with the doctor's advice.

It just hurts to see my cousin FF her 9 month old son. It.really.hurts. He is such a precious little boy. It would kill me if he were injured. She has been in a couple of accidents already that she caused (before having kids). I just hope that she doesn't have anymore.
 

wendytthomas

Admin - CPST Instructor
Staff member
I know it was your friends' doctors. That's what I'd say to them to get them to maybe think that their doctors aren't up to date on CPS.

Wendy
 

Aurezalia

Well-known member
Sorry for the misunderstanding but I meant "their" doctor. I've heard two moms say that their doctor told them that it's fine to turn their kid FF at 12 months; therefore, I lose everytime. I am not a tech, so they just kind of look at me oddly and continue with the doctor's advice.

It just hurts to see my cousin FF her 9 month old son. It.really.hurts. He is such a precious little boy. It would kill me if he were injured. She has been in a couple of accidents already that she caused (before having kids). I just hope that she doesn't have anymore.

Oops, if you see she put quote marks around her statement - she was suggesting a response for when you hear that excuse from parents. :thumbsup:
 

Baylor

New member
I just want to say thanks for trying so much. I can not imagine the frustration.

Thanks for trying to help the little ones.
 

TechnoGranola

Forum Ambassador
30# is safe to FF in a Scenera if the child meets the age and height requirements, and a chest clip isn't a huge deal. Pick your battles in order to save your friendships and your sanity.
I was thinking she actually meant height and that the child wasn't 34" yet (isn't that the height for FF in a Dorel seat?), but I could be totally wrong in my interpretation.
 

nevaehsmommy

New member
Yeah smart moms who are dumb. My SIL has her wont be two until Thanksgiving in a booster bc the doctor said she was close enough in weight. A whole whopping 28#. And the kicker! I bought her a scenera to use for her when she was born and she returned the car seat for smokes and borrowed a bucket seat from a friend. My mom also bought her a scenera to use and she refused it. Now my mom was reading the side of the booster and it said from 30# "so she is close to the weight, Christina" I was yeah but not legal and not safe. So yeah I feel your pain OP

Eta this is the same SIL who had DN FFing at 6 months in a car seat her teenage brother had used as a child. She would not turn the seat back around or buy a new seat.
 

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