Any other co-sleepers?

amy919 · Apr 6, 2007

Yet another controversal topic...

Do any of you co-sleep? If so, until what age? I was opposed to it before I had kids. No real reason why, just didn't think I would like it. My 4 year old hated her crib. We tried everything. She would scream for hours on end and literally shake and tremble in fear when we put her in the crib. If we put her in the crib asleep, she was up within 10 minutes. After trying every method possible, we gave up for the sake of everyone's sanity and ended up co-sleeping with her.

My 1 year old slept wonderfully in her crib until she was about 3 months old - then started the whole thing that Kaylie did. This time, we weren't opposed to co-sleeping, so we didn't fight it too hard and brought her in with us.

So yes, it is a bit crowded in our queen sized bed! Kaylie and Teagan both have their own rooms. Kaylie has a twin bed in hers and Teagan has the 4 year old, but practically brand new, barely used $500 waste of money crib in her room.

We've been working with Kaylie for the past year to get her into her own bed, but truthfully, we're so used to the situation and none of us really mind it so we don't put too much effort into it. But, it is starting to wear on us. So for the last two nights, she's been allowed to lay with us for a little while to watch TV and then when she falls asleep, we move her into her own bed. She's made it through the night both times!

As an aside, Kaylie has horrible night terrors. She wakes up several times a night a complete mess, part of the reason co-sleeping was an easy decision for us. I wanted her close by because when she has a bad terror, she is very violent and destructive and I am afraid she will hurt herself.

Just curious if anyone else co-sleeps and for what reason.

Amy

momof2kiddos · Apr 6, 2007

With tristan we started out co-cleeping because I was scared of sids and he was nursing and I was lazy so it was easier to nurse him in my bed instead of getting up

He co-slept until he was about 13 months old,I was pregnant and wanted "my space" in the bed

So I did CIO...I know a lot of people disagree with that but he was over a year old and needed to sleep on his own so after 3 days of CIO he LOVED His bed...He slept in his crib until 18 months when we moved him to a bog boy bed because his foot kept getting stuck in the bars(he is a crazy sleeper

) and now he loves his racecar bed and is one very happy little boy!!

Now with Madisyn I started out putting her in her bassinet...I am a very hard sleeper now and I am scared to death to roll on her plus I like having me and Dh cuddle togeather at night alone

and i didn't want to have to teach her to sleep alone later on so I just started doing it right away,and she will have it no other way now.

Madisyn will stay up and "talk" to herself and stare at you until you take her out of your arms and put her in her bed then she coos herself to sleep:thumbsup:

Splash · Apr 6, 2007

Yep. Until he decides he's done. His crib is beside our bed, and he crawls into it at night now to fall asleep. He normally starts out the night in his bed and then wakes up and comes to bed with us (or, more often, cries for me to pick him up and bring him to bed with us) after a few hours. I try to stay up until he wakes up, because I don't like having to wake up to get him, I'd rather have him and sleep! If I am really tired, sometimes I'll just pick him up sleeping and bring him to bed with me.
The first night he slept all night in his crib (it's only happened once), I didn't sleep at all. I wasn't nervous or scared, I just couldn't get to sleep! It took me a few days to realize that is was because my baby wasn't with me. I NEED him in bed with me! So, he'll sleep with us until he decides he's done. He knows he can always climb into his bed, and he does at times, but he still sleeps in his mama's arms.
I knew I wanted him in bed with us in the beginning, but didn't know how long it would last. Just the other night I was thinking about it. Like the mother who breastfeeds her child at age seven. You start out, both parties enjoy it, and it works. No need to stop it, because both people want it. He wants to be with us, I want him with us (AJ is neutral), why stop it? I can see it lasting for several more years. However, he will be out by the time the next baby comes. I don't want to start trying until he's out of our bed. I don't want to rush him out, and I refuse to have a toddler and infant in the same bed. I just think that is a very dangerous situation. So, he's our birth control!

tiggercat · Apr 6, 2007

With both kids we put them to bed in their crib at the start of the night, and brought them to our bed when they woke to nurse. They both needed early bedtimes, so this seemed to work for all of us.

We coslept with Greg in this manner from infancy to about 2 yrs old. When we moved and set up his own bed, he wanted to sleep in it. He used to come into bed with us for a few hours in the mornings until he was about 5 yrs old or so.

We started out cosleeping with Megan, but she seems to prefer her own space. She rarely wakes up at night, but if she does she usually calls for her daddy and he lies down in the spare bed in her room with her. Sometimes she will stay up late and then spend the night in our bed.

ThreeBeans · Apr 6, 2007

I am a huge proponent of co-sleeping. Good for baby (easy access to the milkies) and less risk of SIDS. Good for mama (more sleep). Parenting doesn't stop when I fall asleep :thumbsup:

scatterbunny · Apr 6, 2007

We are part-time cosleepers now that Hayley is almost six, but we were pretty much full-time cosleepers up until age 4ish.

Hayley was a preemie, so in the beginning I just wanted her in bed with me so I could watch her breathing, and make sure she was okay, and try to nurse her easily at night (she was tongue-tied and couldn't latch properly, and BF was a nightmare, that's why I said "try").

Sometimes she would sleep in a bassinette for naps, sometimes in her crib in our living room (we lived in a one-bedroom apartment when she was born, with such a tiny bedroom there was only enough room for the double bed and dresser), but night sleeping was with Mark or me. Our bed was so small that we got used to sleeping with her in shifts, every other night.

That pretty much continued, and we don't really mind. Now that she's older she's started grinding her teeth, which is bothering me enough to want to get her a dentist appointment to address it, and enough to make me want her sleeping in her own room.

She also had horrible night terrors (scary, eyes-wide-open-but-not-seeing, screaming, kicking, hitting, the whole nine yards) for years, but thankfully they stopped sometime after she turned 5.

becca011906 · Apr 6, 2007

all for co sleeping too! It also helps that dh works night so he could care less! LOL austin co slept from about 13 months (yep started in crib) till 4.5 years old, now sleeping in his room.
Abby co slept from 22 months (yep started own crib) till well still is and is almost 5 years old.
Allie has slept with me since birth...
we are moving soon and hope to get both girls sleeping together in thier own room. but we'll see how that goes.

amy919 · Apr 6, 2007

scatterbunny said:
She also had horrible night terrors (scary, eyes-wide-open-but-not-seeing, screaming, kicking, hitting, the whole nine yards) for years, but thankfully they stopped sometime after she turned 5.

I could write a book on this subject. I'm glad she outgrew is around 5. They keep telling me expect it to continue until the age of 7. You just gave me some hope! It's a tough thing to deal with. And that scary eyes-wide-open, kid looks like they're right out of horror movie thing is downright freaky!

amy919 · Apr 6, 2007

Do you guys get negative feedback on "extended" co-sleeping? I hear it all the time. It's nice to know there are other people who still have a 4+ year old in bed with them.

scatterbunny · Apr 6, 2007

YES. People ask all the time (I'm sure it's like the extended RF people who have to listen to "when are you going to turn her around?") why she's still sleeping with us, doesn't it bother us, when are we going to kick her out into her own bed. Like it's any of their business. They are judging my situation based on how THEY feel about cosleeping.

It works fine for us. Hayley has finally gotten to the point where she doesn't mind sleeping alone once in awhile, and she does sleep all night. So Mark and I can get some "adult" time at bedtime once or twice a week now (and people always assume cosleeping parents never have time for intimacy; that's so far off-base; there's many hours in a day and many rooms in a house

). However, we've gotten so used to trading off and on with Hayley that it's hard for us to sleep together! In my defense, I've always been a person who gets better sleep alone.

It works for our family, and for many families--it bothers me when people judge based on things like this. How can people judge for something that parents do to BENEFIT their child? That's what I don't get. I get the most judgment from people who do some horrible things, things that do not benefit their child in any way; and if I mention any of MY concerns, all hell will break loose.

Double standards suck.

Morganthe · Apr 6, 2007

I didn't intend to start out co-sleeping, but complicated circumstances were such that we (dh, me, & dd) ALL felt better doing so. I ended up purchasing a Humanity Co-sleeper after a few months that helped me feel more secure with her on the outer part of the bed. I didn't want her inbetween dh & I, he is such a mover when he sleeps.

She easily transitioned from full time co-sleeping around 7 months old. We both agreed on it. She'd go to bed in her room in her crib and then around midnight she'd wake up hungry. I'd go get her, change diaper, and then she'd be tucked in nursing the rest of the night. Nighttime feedings ended with her baby growth finally slowed at 18 months, again by her choice. She had grown 6 inches in 6 months to 33 inches tall! Only 3 inches grown in the next 6 months.

That became my magical period of catch-up sleep. For 6 wonderful months, she'd sleep in her crib for 12 straight hours. She'd wake around 6 and babble herself back to sleep until 7:15. I was in heaven & it came to an abrupt end when we had to take off her crib side and make it into a toddler bed. After that, her brain decided to grow. Every morning she'd pop in any time after 5am... I FOUND you Mommy

And her speech was noticeably better. That's when survival nursing came into play. Cuddle back into bed and anything to make her rest longer. Of course, I'd go back to sleep.

That's what's been happening ever since. I've found that unless I"m sick or really exhausted, I can't sleep with her by my side any longer. So she's not allowed to crawl in until 6:15. Any time earlier, she's sent to her cot in the corner of our bedroom and she'll sleep a little longer. Otherwise we're both miserable gits all day long

So I don't know if what we're doing could be considered co-sleeping or not. :shrug-shoulders: I no longer have the co-sleeper pad & bolster on our bed in a very long while and I'm looking to sell it in the near future. Great gear, but I'm not having any more little ones

skaterbabs · Apr 6, 2007

We cosleep too. God knows, with Joyjoy we'd never have gotyten ANY sleep at all if we didn't. Even now she sleeps better of one of us is laying down with her.

Morganthe · Apr 6, 2007

scatterbunny said:
Double standards suck.

You can say that again

amy919 · Apr 6, 2007

scatterbunny said:
...people always assume cosleeping parents never have time for intimacy; that's so far off-base; there's many hours in a day and many rooms in a house ).

LOL - Someone actually asked how I could have gotten pregnant with Teagan since Kaylie was still in our bed. I should have told them we just shove her to the other side of the bed*. It amazes me that people think you ONLY have sex in bed. How boring for those people! If anything, co-sleeping help your sex life - you're forced to be creative!

*disclaimer - that was a joke - we do NOT do that!

rlsadc · Apr 6, 2007

we still co sleep with aleah, and i wouldnt have it any other way..dh maybe:shrug-shoulders: ... but she sleeps better with us, and i sleep better with her. before she was born we had it all planned out...HA! so much for that...i just bought a bedrail, and i knew i wasnt going to roll over on her, she would let me know if i did (atleast now she would, she quite aggressive when she is mad) anyways, i coslept with my mom and my brother untill i was pretty old (3rd of 4th grade) and it never was an issue for either of us. it was just the three of us, so it wasnt crowded. aleah will start sleeping in her bed sooner than that im sure...i dont think i would let her CIO, but there are other methods. i know that my aunt put her kids in their room. after their bedtime story they didnt have to go to sleep, but the lights had to be off. they would usually play for 15 minutes, and then off to bed they went...and i am sure that is probably a route i will try, but only after i feel she is ready, and who knows when that will be.

joolsplus3 · Apr 6, 2007

amy919 said:
Yet another controversal topic...

Do any of you co-sleep? If so, until what age? I was opposed to it before I had kids. No real reason why, just didn't think I would like it. My 4 year old hated her crib. We tried everything. She would scream for hours on end and literally shake and tremble in fear when we put her in the crib. If we put her in the crib asleep, she was up within 10 minutes. After trying every method possible, we gave up for the sake of everyone's sanity and ended up co-sleeping with her.

My 1 year old slept wonderfully in her crib until she was about 3 months old - then started the whole thing that Kaylie did. This time, we weren't opposed to co-sleeping, so we didn't fight it too hard and brought her in with us.

So yes, it is a bit crowded in our queen sized bed! Kaylie and Teagan both have their own rooms. Kaylie has a twin bed in hers and Teagan has the 4 year old, but practically brand new, barely used $500 waste of money crib in her room.

We've been working with Kaylie for the past year to get her into her own bed, but truthfully, we're so used to the situation and none of us really mind it so we don't put too much effort into it. But, it is starting to wear on us. So for the last two nights, she's been allowed to lay with us for a little while to watch TV and then when she falls asleep, we move her into her own bed. She's made it through the night both times!

As an aside, Kaylie has horrible night terrors. She wakes up several times a night a complete mess, part of the reason co-sleeping was an easy decision for us. I wanted her close by because when she has a bad terror, she is very violent and destructive and I am afraid she will hurt herself.

Just curious if anyone else co-sleeps and for what reason.

Amy

Yup, lots o' toy filled cribs and kid filled beds at our house

My friend said, gee, if you are raising baby animals at the zoo, and the mother stuck the baby in another room to cry it out, you'd take that baby away from that bad mama...it just isn't natural to expect babies not to sleep with their parents. Some do, and that's COOL! I'd kill for my own bed, lol. I wish I hadn't made my elder two cry it out so many times, but they seem to be ok (darn Ferber going back on his old advice...). Leah's really never been out of our bed at night, though I'm making her learn to go to sleep without nursing (lots of screaming the first couple weeks, but now she's getting pretty cool with the routine of lying down, nursing, then having to put herself to sleep while I watch TV or read, she only whimpers and rolls around a little and goes to sleep on her own easily). Meanwhile, her crib is in her sister's room and her sister, 7, is SO sad that her brother has left and the baby's never there that she sleeps with us or on her brother's floor

rlsadc · Apr 6, 2007

joolsplus3 said:
Yup, lots o' toy filled cribs and kid filled beds at our house

they do make great toy boxes

amy919 · Apr 6, 2007

skaterbabscpst said:
We cosleep too. God knows, with Joyjoy we'd never have gotyten ANY sleep at all if we didn't. Even now she sleeps better of one of us is laying down with her.

Same here! Neither of my kids can fall asleep without being held or cuddled, unless they're in the car. And I don't mind it one bit. I'll hold them and cuddle them as long as they'll let me!

oxeye · Apr 6, 2007

Co-sleepers here - people who see our bedroom must think we are nuts. We have a side-carred crib on one side, a california king in the middle, and a twin bed on the other side.

We all like to sleep in the same room but we all need our space. LOL

My 3.5 year old has been in our bed since she was 6 weeks old. I planned on co-sleeping when I was pregnant (I was more gung-ho AP back then than I am now) but medical problems and the fact that I hadn't figured out nursing laying down made me try out the crib. 6 very sleep-deprived weeks later, once I figured out side-lying nursing, she was in our bed. And that's where she's been ever since.

My 20 month old has only slept two nights away from me - when she was in an isolette in the hospital getting phototherapy (and I was sleeping in the chair right next to her the entire time). Her first days in the hospital she slept in the crook of my arm (much to the nurses' dismay) and next to me from our first day back at home. I was never sleep-deprived when she was a newborn which was just amazing to me.

I'd like to get them in their own rooms eventually, but this works for us for now so we're not forcing it to change.

mommy4girls · Apr 6, 2007

rlsadc said:
they do make great toy boxes

Laundry baskets too

we co-slept with all of them. Johannah we kicked into her own bed WAY too early IMO

Laura fell asleep on my lap one night when I was online

and I laid her on the floor on a blanket and she slowly moved down the hall on that blanket to her room, it took maybe a week and it was SO easy (she was about 18 months old). Kendra ended up sleeping with her sisters when she was under 18 months old and she slept in their bed till she and Laura started kicking eachother in their sleep. Ilana was about 4 when I finally left her bed (dh had had enough of her sleeping with us! LOL!)

Any other co-sleepers?

New member

New member

New member

New member

New member

New member

Senior Community Member

New member

New member

New member

New member

Well-known member

New member

New member

Senior Community Member

Admin - CPS Technician

Senior Community Member

New member

New member

Senior Community Member

Car-Seat.Org Facebook Group

Sponsors

Forum statistics