Extended Harnessing~Are they Embarrassed??

momof2kiddos · Apr 5, 2007

I have decided to keep my lil ones harnessed in my car for as long as possible but when they reach 5 yrs old and 40+ pounds they will use a HBB when going with other peoplpe for short trips.

My Dh is VERY supportive of everything I do and our child's saftey,but he thinks our kid's will be embarrassed by thier peers.So I was wondering if your children are and what they think of extended harnessing?

Minniemouse · Apr 5, 2007

Bethany is 5.5yo (will be 6 in July) and in kindergarten.

Last week when I ws picking her up from school one of her friends got in the FRONT seat of her mom's van.

Beth: Mommy, XXX is sitting in the front seat.
Me: She is! Should she be sitting there?
Beth: No, it isn't safe, why does her mommy let her sit there then?

Out of the mouths of babes!

I take moments like this to reinforce how sitting in the back seat is safer, how her 5pt harness in my car (Husky) is safer than her booster in daddy's car, etc. Of course then we had to talk about how she is safe in the booster but she's safER in the Husky... and how lucky she is to still fit in it

Amaris · Apr 5, 2007

There are several kids in my sons kindergarten class who ride in just the seatbelt

The rest are in boosters of some kind, he's the only one still in a harness. He has asked why his friends aren't in "safe seats" like his. The only answer I had for him was that their parents must not know about big boy seats like his. He's very comfortable in his regent, and to my knowledge his friends haven't said anything to him about being in it. A few parents have asked me why he isn't in a booster though!!

joolsplus3 · Apr 5, 2007

Oh goodness, no! My 9 yo loves his 'big blue seat' (Husky) and as old as age 7 was asking if he could take it in his friend's car (his 9 yo friend w no booster!). If you brainwash your kids effectively (uh... expound on the virtues and safety of harnessing...in a fun way!) then they are never embarrassed... and they feel bad that their friends don't get to be as safe as they are!

lynsgirl · Apr 5, 2007

My kids aren't embarrassed either

. My two oldest kids are 10 and 8 and both ride in a Husky/Regent. My 5.5 yo doesn't realize there are other options hehehe (he's 41 lbs and in a MA). You have an advantage here, since your kids are younger. By the time they're older and still harnessed, *more* kids their age will be harnessed. It's been slow to catch on, but more people are doing it. The embarrassment factor should be even lower for your kids than for ours

lol.

Yoshi · Apr 5, 2007

I have never given this any real serious merit, the idea of my child being "embarrassed" about a safety issue. When my son had to wear his bike helmet while his other friends didn't, he got over it. Now that he is 18, and not yet licensed, he is only able to get rides home from 2 kids we know well. If they are not available to give him a ride, he has to call home and I will pick him up, while his other friends just hop in any old car. My rules- for safety. Is he embarrassed? Maybe, but he copes with it and just says, "That's my mom- the safety freak."

When my daughter is Kindergarten age, and still harnessed, I will tell her she is safer, and will ride that way until I decide otherwise. Young children do not necessarily become embarrassed unless some adult says something like, "Oh, you still ride in a baby seat?" Kids usually side more with their parent's values until about age 10-12, when peer pressure kicks in more. As our kids grow up, hopefully more and more of their peers will be harnessed longer, and it will be the norm. HBB are NOT appropriate for kids that do not meet the 5 step test and are not mature enough to stay properly restrained. 5 years old may be to soon, it may not be, it depends on the child. Your husband's fears are not uncommon for men- they don't want their sons to be ridiculed, or "babied". Safety comes first in my family.

musicmaj · Apr 5, 2007

I showed both my 5 year old and my 6 year old crash tests of a forward facing harnessed and a booster. My 6 year old is happy to be harnessed when she can and is not embarrassed. (We only have one hwh seat right now and the 5 year old needs it when he is in the car. She only uses it when he is not there.) She actually wishes she could be rear facing since she also saw that crash test. She always tells my 18 month old that he is lucky to be rear facing.

mominabigtruck · Apr 5, 2007

My oldest is almost 5 and loves all of his seats, his husky included. Almost none of the kids in his preschool even ride in boosters and he is the only one in a harnessed seat. The other day my mom picked him up and I left his cowmoo parkway there for her and when I got ready to leave half the class was out in the hallway trying to sit in it and the little girls were rubbing the wings saying how soft and pretty it was. I think in general its the other parents that make kids feel bad about carseats, not the kids, because they're the ones telling their kids they don't have to sit in a carseat. I think if you buy any kid a nice, comfortable seat they're going to want to sit in it because its more comfortable then being in a regular seat with an adult seatbelt riding up on them.

AdventureMom · Apr 5, 2007

Nolan LOVES his Marathon. He's 4 and only 35lbs so no booster anytime soon. But he sees kids in the front seat or not in a car seat and comments that they're not safe and why don't their mommies and daddies put them in a car seat, etc. :thumbsup: I tell him that some people just don't know that it's not safe, but lucky for him, his mommy/daddy have learned alot about safety...

He really doesn't mind. He loves being in his carseat. I think they get used to it. I remember not wearing a seatbelt as a teenager, back before everyone became so safety-conscious (yes, I'm aging myself here - LOL!). But now, I feel naked in a car until my seatbelt is on. I think it's the same way with kids: they get used to being harnessed and they like that security....?

We recently took one of Nolan's friends, B, with us to see "Go Diego Go Live". He's in a booster in his mom's car but we put him in Nolan's MA and put Nolan in our spare seat (Triumph). B totally wigged. "I want to get out. I don't like these straps. Can you make it looser?" (Um, no such luck in our car, kiddo!) Nolan was just staring in disbelief. I think it's what they get used to.

SPJ&E · Apr 5, 2007

joolsplus3 said:
If you brainwash your kids effectively (uh... expound on the virtues and safety of harnessing...in a fun way!) then they are never embarrassed... and they feel bad that their friends don't get to be as safe as they are!

LOL, I agree! I think if we really teach them the importance of car safety and do it the right way, they won't be embarassed. I also think when they do get the comments and what-not about being in seats, that's when we teach them about peer pressure and not going along with others just because.

groovymom2000 · Apr 5, 2007

6 years old here and not embarrassed either. In fact, he prefers to ride in his Husky, if only because I'm not constantly nagging at him to sit back, sit up,stop touching your brother, etc....

Car seat safety is non-negotiable in our house, and always has been.

CarSeatPoncho · Apr 5, 2007

Who knows what the popular practice will be in 4-5 years? I think the (very lucky, very safe) kids whose moms are on this board are on the leading edge, and as time goes on, it will be less and less of an "oddity" for children to be harnessed at 5 or 6 or more.

I think showing children crash test video will make the point to them! I still remember those Volvo commercials in the 70's with crash test dummies! Car crashes are really really horrible and scary.

Simplysomething · Apr 5, 2007

My almost 7 year old is not harnessed. He is in a booster. I can't think of any of his friends that still are. Now, come July, the law changes from age 6 to age 8 and they'll all have to be in them again.

But, you know, he has expressed...concern. He's a very sensitive kiddo, and has been embarassed. I know the OP was concerning extended harnessing, I'm just saying is that yes, embarassment can happen, but it's not the same as being embarrased because your mom bought you the wrong kind of sneakers, kwim?

This past weekend, my 4 year old nephew told him..."I don't like your car-seat". And that really bothered DS1. But he knows why he must ride in a booster.

mamato2 · Apr 5, 2007

Exactly what Joolsplus3 said! My 9 and 5.5 year old are more concerned about the other kids NOT being as safe as they could than what friends think of them. I mention whenever I can the importance of being as safe as you can and that involves being harnessed.
My 5 yr old is getting tired of her RA though, LOTS of boosters at preschool, only a rare few are still harnessed at 4 and 5, so I'm thinking of getting a RYS for her. I hope that a new and less 'toddler like' seat will keep her feeling good about being harnessed. When she is too heavy (hmmmm 2 years maybe?) she will move to a Husky and big sis to the RYS in booster mode.
My 9 yr doesn't even mention using a booster full time anymore. She knows the booster is for others cars and she's very comfortable in her Husky (jealous when a younger kid has to use it actually!!!).
C.

Erika Ruth · Apr 5, 2007

No one has mentioned that kids like being in the carseats because they can see better. My daughter BEGS to be in the carseat on the airplane because she wants to be able to see.

My kids will be harnessed in 5pt until they outgrow them because I have real experience with rear end accidents, and HOW bad the seatbelt can kill your shoulder (I still have nerve damage in my left arm from the seat belt) I would not have that problem had I been in a 5pt!

Erika

djma · Apr 5, 2007

My oldest is only 4, but he has never questioned why he's still harnessed. We did have him in a booster when he turned 3 (I know...bad decision, but we didn't know any better at the time) and moved him soon after to the Radian. He loves being able to buckle himself. He has recently asked to be RF like our youngest. Like the others, if you tell them it's for their safety, they'll understand.

Morganthe · Apr 5, 2007

DD is only 3 1/2 and LIKES her car seat. She's very insistent on a tight buckle. When it eventually becomes an issue, I'll tell her to pretend she's a race car driver, airplane pilot, or in the Space shuttle. I'm sure there's other exciting jobs out there that I'll think of by then that use harnesses & special seats too

Mama2J · Apr 5, 2007

Well Justin's not technically extended harnessed yet, and has never known any other way to ride in a car. However, his cousin is 4 and rides in a booster, and he will probably be in a booster in his dad's truck soon, so I'm sure there will be questions about that. I can only hope that I can educate him enough about safety to not care what others think.

momof2kiddos · Apr 5, 2007

Thanks everyone I am glad to know that this isn't an issue with most kids.We are just going off our younger brothers and sisters because my youngest sister is 8 and she is just in a regular seatbelt and has been since will 5 *I think* and she would be so embarrassed if I made her ride in a carseat,even though I know she is safest in one.But like a PP stated it's because that is all she knows.Dh says that at age 6 they should be mature enough for a booster full time,so I will argue with him when we get there.:fencing:

skaterbabs · Apr 5, 2007

Plus, I'm mean to my kids. I'll flat out tell them I'd rather have them embarrassed than dead or seriously injured.
CJ will be in middle school next year. Barring a serious growth spurt, he'll still be riding in his Parkway for a while yet.

Extended Harnessing~Are they Embarrassed??

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