How to talk to others about carseat misuse?

equilibrium

New member
Hi everyone,

I am hoping that you can help me with some ways that you start talking to people-friends, family, strangers about seeing misuse, etc. Say a really low chest clip or something. I am needing the simple ways to start a conversation about it but in a way that someone won't become defensive. Do you have any suggestions?

I know someone in my dh family that has moved her son who is just 40 lbs and 3 yrs old to a back booster with just the lap belt. He falls asleep all the time and really, to me...he doesn't seem very safe in it. He seems too small still. I am really not sure how to start talking about it. I mentioned that they now make great convertible seats that go up to 65 lbs and 5 pt harness whcih helps but she was just like oh ya....

Anything to help would be appreciated!
 
ADS

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
I would only *consider* offering unsolicited advice on life-threatening misuse. A low chest clip in an otherwise properly used seat is not. A 3yo in a booster with lap-belt only might be. I start out by discussing the law, because it's a lot less loaded to say "hey, that's illegal" than "hey, you don't know how to keep your child safe", and then if they seem open to it, move into best (or better) practice.
 

lovinwaves

New member
Becoming an actual certified technician and just in general speaking about CPS around family and friends allowed me to be a resource for them to go to ask about questions.

Offering up unsolicited advice (especially to friends and family), in my experience, almost never goes over very well.
 

HayleyCPST

New member
Yeah, I gotta agree with Lovinwaves...
Mostly you just learn from experience and what you find effective. There are certain strategies and ways you can beat around the bush.

I've found that unsolicited advice never works. Last week I mentioned that this baby's straps were way too loose and the mom said "oh that's just how I do them when we aren't in the car". Could be, couldn't be. Don't know.

Since you are becoming a tech, you can send them info. "Hey, I just learned in this class I'm taking that it's actually illegal to put a child in a lap only belt with the booster. An option you could do is to install his seat in the center since I found out that it's 42% safer and he could use a harness."
HTH
 

Defrost

Moderator - CPSTI Emeritus
Regardless of whether you're certified or not, you can always start a conversation with something along the lines of "I know you really love your kid because..." When it's someone you know, you can point out their particular "passion," like "...because you breastfed for so long," or "...because I remember how much time you spent baby-proofing your house," or "...because you always have him dressed so well," "spent hours researching daycare, cloth-diapered, etc, etc."

Then you can talk about how their particular "passion" really made you think about it, and you're wondering if she'd mind hearing about your "passion," yk? That way you've set up a non-judgemental atmosphere - kind of a "I won't judge you for your car safety mistakes if you don't judge me for not breastfeeding/cloth-diapering/my kid's messy clothes/whatever."

You can also try the "playing dumb" approach, and ask questions. Things like "Oh, I see you've got Billy in a booster already. My little guy is still in his harnessed seat, do you think that's okay?" Getting them talking about why they chose whatever is a good way to understand them. You can totally avoid the "OMG that's so WRONG!" attitude by simply looking confused and saying things like "Wow, that's so weird - I read/was told that kids should stay in a harness until they're 4. I'm going to have to look that up." Later you can even go back and say "Remember when we talked about XYZ? Well, I looked it up and it was really confusing, lots of different opinions, but I found out there's a free seat check event. Do you want to come with me? We could help out with each other's kids..."
 

Mommy2Marcus

New member
I usually start off with how adorable their child is, then move into something about car seats. I once time seen a momma in Target that had her DD buckled in wrong in her infant seat. I was talking to her about how cute her DD was & how old she was. I then noticed she was buckled wrong. I asked her if I could share something with her about car seats & she said yes.

I then told her that the straps where done up wrong on her child. She freaked & asked me how to fix it. I then asked her if I could show her to which she said yes. I then proceded to fix it. She had her buckled with the hip straps under her legs instead of over them. :eek: I fixed it for her & she was SO relieved b/c that looked SO much easier.

I then went on to share about ERF & how much safer it was. She then asked me about what kind of seats I reccomended. She was very receptive.

I have been blown off many times. However I try to find something to strike up a conversation about 1st & then to go to car seats. It seems to help to go from how precious, cute adorable their child is, then to straight to the miss-use.
 

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