70+lb, just barely 3 y.o.

kidnurse · Oct 13, 2010

My sitter's day job overlapped with my hours this morning and I saw the other LO she watches while picking up my son. This girl is just barely 3 and mom says 71lbs at her 3 yr check-up. Today she was in a 5 point seat, made by Dorel, I believe sold at Costco. I had the sitter read the stickers and she said the weight limit on the harness was 40lbs. I didn't check myself. A couple of weeks ago I saw this little girl in a HBB, when she was still technically 2 yr old.

If a harness goes only to 40 lbs, does that mean it was not tested above 40 lbs or that it did not meet standards at over 40 lbs? What could happen if this little girl is in a car accident in this seat?

This little girls mom saw my son RF in his TF this morning and wanted to know how old he is and why is he still RF. Sitter told her why, and the mom says that as long as the kid drinks enough milk they are strong enough to face forward. Sitter said my son is lactose intolerant and can't drink milk.

Sitter also told this mom that I had done a lot of research and it is safer to RF, mom made some sarcastic remark about some people believing it.

This is the same mom who went to install her barely 3 yr olds carseat in the sitters front seat, after the sitter has previously told her the child is not allow to sit in the front in her car.

I dont' think there is any way to change mom's opinions, but I am just curious, what seat options are there for a 71lb 3 yr old? I'm thinking not much beyond a Radian that harnesses at that weight.

rachelandtyke · Oct 13, 2010

The seat is not safe to use after the child reaches 40 lbs. It either was not tested or tested and failed at higher weights. I am wondering if the child even fits by height if they are over so much by weight? The seat could have a catastrophic failure in an accident, especially with a weight that exceeds the weight limit by so much!

Wow, a Frontier 85 would be another option besides an 80 lb Radian.

lorismurph · Oct 13, 2010

FR85 would be the best bet. That and a diet! I'm sorry but that's crazy heavy for a barely 3yo. My 3 1/2 yo is only 30 pounds (granted, she's tiny). I cannot imagine a child younger than her being more than twice her weight.

kidnurse · Oct 13, 2010

I totally forgot about the FR85, being a 3 yr old my mind automatically went through the convertibles I know. It is a sad situation, from what the sitter says the kid gets plopped in front of the TV all day with pork rinds and soda and the like.

The kid barely talks and doesn't play. From what the sitter says she doesnt even have toys, just lots and lots of DVD's.

babyherder · Oct 13, 2010

I'd use a Frontier 85 or one of the new Recaro seats that harnessed up to 90lbs if she fits by height. Otherwise, a well fitting highback booster. Its not ideal but its safer than an outgrown harness.

kidnurse · Oct 13, 2010

That is what I was thinking, that she was safer in the HBB I saw her in the other day. Honestly the kid doesn't move, not voluntarily, she is probably an exception to the rule for being too young for a booster. She sits perfectly still no problem. She is average height for her age. Mom does not think her weight is a problem at all.

Mags462 · Oct 13, 2010

A 71lb 3 yr old?!?!?!

Wow, i thought my friends 50lb 4 yr old was on the larger side. Does she look that heavy? I mean i just cannot fathom it. I don't think my 8 yr old neighbor weighs that much!

And i am going with the previous posters on this, since mom seems to revel in her uneducated state then maybe offer to drop off a cheap Graco HBB for sitter to use??? Not ideal of course, but man a kid harnessed in a seat that she exceeds by almost double is insane - she would have little if any protection in a crash.

Angela · Oct 13, 2010

And I thought my kiddo was big (5 yrs 60 lbs)! That really is sad that she could care less. How often does the sitter watch her? If I was that sitter I would make it a point to get the little girl outside and do something or even bring some toys along for her to play with. Something to get her away from the tv and snacks.
Yes, I would have to agree that a hbb would be better than the seat she's in.

kidnurse · Oct 13, 2010

I actually have a HBB I can let the sitter use with this little girl. The sitter is with her 3-5 x's a week. I have encouraged the sitter to get this kid out to the park, and to encourage the kid to play more, over watching TV. The mom has said she fired the last nanny for bringing healthy foods over with her for the kid to eat. This mom is determined to avoid any situation that may emphasis her daughters issues, at all cost. The place where we go for mom and me classes ran a special this month, unlimited classes for $25 for the month. I suggested the sitter let this mom know, mom said her daughter doesn't like kids so it would not be a good thing for her.

This poor little girl is going to have a really rough time come kindergarten. I am glad it is not me trying to transport this child, I think I flat out wouldn't be comfortable taking this child anywhere given the circumstances. I guess the HBB is the best of a bad situation, but I would not be totally comfortable with it.

carseatcoach · Oct 13, 2010

What could -- and probably would -- happen with a 70# kid in a 40# harnessed seat is that the seat would fail spectacularly and the child would be ejected.

I hate the idea of a 3yo in a booster, but it is way WAY better than a 40# harnessed seat.

annb · Oct 13, 2010

That really sounds like child abuse.

Melanie · Oct 13, 2010

Mom sounds like a mother of the year candidate.

Does the sitter ever transport your child and this one together? If so, I'd be concerned that the child could become a projectile and hurt yours. Just typing that out makes my stomach hurt.

Angela · Oct 13, 2010

annb said:
That really sounds like child abuse.

I agree! I can't even fathom a mother acting like that. It makes me curious about how Kindy will go too. It makes you wonder if she'll decide to homeschool so her child isn't around other kids. If she does take her to public/private I feel sorry for the teacher that has to deal with the mom.

luvsviola · Oct 13, 2010

kidnurse said:
I actually have a HBB I can let the sitter use with this little girl. The sitter is with her 3-5 x's a week. I have encouraged the sitter to get this kid out to the park, and to encourage the kid to play more, over watching TV. The mom has said she fired the last nanny for bringing healthy foods over with her for the kid to eat. This mom is determined to avoid any situation that may emphasis her daughters issues, at all cost. The place where we go for mom and me classes ran a special this month, unlimited classes for $25 for the month. I suggested the sitter let this mom know, mom said her daughter doesn't like kids so it would not be a good thing for her. This poor little girl is going to have a really rough time come kindergarten. I am glad it is not me trying to transport this child, I think I flat out wouldn't be comfortable taking this child anywhere given the circumstances. I guess the HBB is the best of a bad situation, but I would not be totally comfortable with it.

I had the 16 year old equivalent of this child in class. The kids were cruel to her, because in elementary she didn't bathe. She didn't fit in the tub at their house, and mom didn't make her learn to shower. The mom wouldn't even take her to the doctor because she didn't want to hear "those quack's say my kid is too fat when she is perfect." There are so many psych issues and now health issues, that go with it. It is very very sad to see it repeating.

NannyMom · Oct 13, 2010

Mags462 said:
A 71lb 3 yr old?!?!?! Wow, i thought my friends 50lb 4 yr old was on the larger side. Does she look that heavy? I mean i just cannot fathom it. I don't think my 8 yr old neighbor weighs that much!

We're growin' 'em big now a days. This is actually the 3 or 4th time I've heard of a 70-80 pound 2-3 year old needing a seat in 1 month

zactayaus · Oct 13, 2010

Wow! My 12yo hasn't even hit 70lbs yet.

cdncasper · Oct 13, 2010

It is sad to hear of a mom that cares that little about her child. I know someone who is very similar (daughter was 32lbs at her 1 yr appt, will be 2 in Nov and JUST started crawling, was putting her in a 22lb infant seat at 14 months even though she outgrew it at 5 months old). Sometimes they just can't see a problem even when people point it out. Hopefully the sitter can get her outside to get some excercise.

Jocey'sMommy · Oct 13, 2010

I personally would call DCS because this is child abuse, and it is illegal for the babysitter to transport a child in a seat like that with the proper use clause in most state laws. This child needs to be monitered by DCS and mom needs a serious wake up call. That poor little girl can easily have a heart attach if she doesn't already have serious heart issues at that size. I def would make an issue of your child riding in the same car, that is the size of a tween/teenage girl riding with no seatbelt if that seat fails. Again I would bring it to the babysitter's attention that she would be liable if something happens to that little girl with her restrained illegally.

Sorry for the rampage but to me letting a child that young get sooo big is neglect and prob some pshycological issues with the mom, there is no reason for it. I am overweight myself and I eat horribly but my DD doesn't get to eat the junk food I get lol I wish I didn't get the junk food I get, but I am weak lol. Again I have no prob calling DCS, atleast someone can come into the home that way and assess the situation.

ownedbyhorses · Oct 14, 2010

My first thought was eat healthy foods. That is not only abuse but neglect too. That child Has to be beyond fat. She must be obeese. That is so very sad.
I hope you can figure something safe out. The HBB sounds like a good option since the child is so calm and still.
best wishes

Mommy2Marcus · Oct 14, 2010

That breaks my heart for this child. Also that the mother could really seem to care less. She seems the type of mother that as long as the child is not in her hair & bothering her, then whatever it takes to keep her there. I will be one to admitt that my own child does watch several TV shows a day as well as eating some junk. He also does a good amount of playing outside with his toys & running around like a banshee. However he is also a skinny minnie at 34-35lbs fully dressed with shoes on at just 4. I can not even begin to imagine him being double what he is right now. That is crazy.

I also agree that calling CPS might be what gives this woman a wake up call. It sounds like she is truely neglecting this little girls needs. It hurts me to think about the meaness she is going to have to endure at school b/c of this when she is older.

70+lb, just barely 3 y.o.

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