Kiss Me Deadly
New member
...convince people that you are NOT crazy for doing what you do in regard to car seat safety?
Please forgive my pregnant-lady crazy right now, but I just can't get these issues out of my head and need to know how everyone else deals with it...
I ERF with both of my DDs. My oldest just turned FF (one month shy of her 3rd birthday) because of weight limits. My younger DD (18 months) is still happily RF in a Recaro Como.
The problem I get from family, friends, and in-laws especially, is that they all think I'm nuts, listen to my spiels, and ultimately do what they want anyway. I am fortunate enough that my parents and my DH defer to me on all car seat decisions and leave it at that, but my in-laws and my sister couldn't care less.
My MIL began asking me when my oldest was just 6 months old why I hadn't "turned her around yet." At that point I could just simply say that it was illegal. She argued with me vehemently that at 20lbs, she was supposed to face forward. I finally stopped it somewhat when I printed out a copy of the laws and highlighted the 22lbs. AND 1 year old portion. After that, she was still on my case about it. I was still working part time (3 days a week) and she would keep my DD for free. I found out that on the days MIL had my DD, she was riding in a FF harness that was not even a convertible, and specifically stated that the seat was not for children under 2! We really had it out (which was UGLY because my husband was deployed and couldn't help me out with her), so I went out and bought a Scenera, installed it myself RF into her car and point-blank said that if my DD was going to ride with her, this was the way it was going to be. PERIOD! Shortly after that, we had an opportunity to see my husband while he was on R&R and she didn't have my DD for about 2 weeks. When we got back and I was dropping DD off, I asked her if she wanted me to re-install the car seat for her, and what had she done? She told me that she gave that seat away because, "I don't need it, I HAVE a car seat!" I then took my 8 month old (at the time) with me to work! I was fed up! Many months later, I was at her house when DH's cousin came over with her 6 month old after his checkup. DH's Cousin said proudly, "He weighs 20 pounds now!" My MIL responded (while GLARING at me), "Honey, that's GREAT, let's go turn his car seat around now, and they proceeded to do it right then and there in the driveway.
Now, my sister, who is ironically an EH fanatic thinks I am actually ABUSING my children by stunting their development since "they can't see to learn anything." This is a weekly conversation for us, and I'm just at my wit's end with her and tired of justifying myself. Keep in mind, this is a woman who bought a FF only harness seat for her 4 month old because he "screamed too much." Luckily, her special needs (blind) 5 year old is still harnessed in a GN.
So...
I said all of that to say this... I now have 2 DDs, and am expecting my 3rd. The situation with my MIL and car seats is so bad that my children have not ridden in a vehicle with her since that day (youngest NEVER has). Other than this ONE issue, she is the best grandmother anyone could ever wish for their children. And with a 3rd on the way, and a military husband that is gone a lot, there are going to be situations where I have no choice but to depend on them for help (I'm thinking specifically when I deliver and the older two have to stay with someone). My parents own their own business, and are out of town almost as much as DH, so while they are willing, they are not always able, to help.
I am continually frustrated with this situation because none of the people mentioned will listen to reason! No matter what literature, videos, etc. I present to them, they think I'm crazy! And not mama-bear protective crazy, they literally seem to think that all of this car seat safety stuff is just something I pulled out of thin air to make their lives more difficult.
Now, I've long since given up on convincing any family members to do the same with their own children. That is a losing battle. But HOW can I make them understand why I do it for MY children, and they need to understand THAT?
I really hope this little rant made sense... Sorry for the length...
Please forgive my pregnant-lady crazy right now, but I just can't get these issues out of my head and need to know how everyone else deals with it...
I ERF with both of my DDs. My oldest just turned FF (one month shy of her 3rd birthday) because of weight limits. My younger DD (18 months) is still happily RF in a Recaro Como.
The problem I get from family, friends, and in-laws especially, is that they all think I'm nuts, listen to my spiels, and ultimately do what they want anyway. I am fortunate enough that my parents and my DH defer to me on all car seat decisions and leave it at that, but my in-laws and my sister couldn't care less.
My MIL began asking me when my oldest was just 6 months old why I hadn't "turned her around yet." At that point I could just simply say that it was illegal. She argued with me vehemently that at 20lbs, she was supposed to face forward. I finally stopped it somewhat when I printed out a copy of the laws and highlighted the 22lbs. AND 1 year old portion. After that, she was still on my case about it. I was still working part time (3 days a week) and she would keep my DD for free. I found out that on the days MIL had my DD, she was riding in a FF harness that was not even a convertible, and specifically stated that the seat was not for children under 2! We really had it out (which was UGLY because my husband was deployed and couldn't help me out with her), so I went out and bought a Scenera, installed it myself RF into her car and point-blank said that if my DD was going to ride with her, this was the way it was going to be. PERIOD! Shortly after that, we had an opportunity to see my husband while he was on R&R and she didn't have my DD for about 2 weeks. When we got back and I was dropping DD off, I asked her if she wanted me to re-install the car seat for her, and what had she done? She told me that she gave that seat away because, "I don't need it, I HAVE a car seat!" I then took my 8 month old (at the time) with me to work! I was fed up! Many months later, I was at her house when DH's cousin came over with her 6 month old after his checkup. DH's Cousin said proudly, "He weighs 20 pounds now!" My MIL responded (while GLARING at me), "Honey, that's GREAT, let's go turn his car seat around now, and they proceeded to do it right then and there in the driveway.
Now, my sister, who is ironically an EH fanatic thinks I am actually ABUSING my children by stunting their development since "they can't see to learn anything." This is a weekly conversation for us, and I'm just at my wit's end with her and tired of justifying myself. Keep in mind, this is a woman who bought a FF only harness seat for her 4 month old because he "screamed too much." Luckily, her special needs (blind) 5 year old is still harnessed in a GN.
So...
I said all of that to say this... I now have 2 DDs, and am expecting my 3rd. The situation with my MIL and car seats is so bad that my children have not ridden in a vehicle with her since that day (youngest NEVER has). Other than this ONE issue, she is the best grandmother anyone could ever wish for their children. And with a 3rd on the way, and a military husband that is gone a lot, there are going to be situations where I have no choice but to depend on them for help (I'm thinking specifically when I deliver and the older two have to stay with someone). My parents own their own business, and are out of town almost as much as DH, so while they are willing, they are not always able, to help.
I am continually frustrated with this situation because none of the people mentioned will listen to reason! No matter what literature, videos, etc. I present to them, they think I'm crazy! And not mama-bear protective crazy, they literally seem to think that all of this car seat safety stuff is just something I pulled out of thin air to make their lives more difficult.
Now, I've long since given up on convincing any family members to do the same with their own children. That is a losing battle. But HOW can I make them understand why I do it for MY children, and they need to understand THAT?
I really hope this little rant made sense... Sorry for the length...