"Do you know she's not buckled"..."yes"...I just pray they don't get hit.

todzwife

New member

• Sep 20, 2010

• #1

A friend of mine (same one that turned her 1 YO FF on her birthday) was waiting outside the school today for her kids. Her 1 YO was asleep in her seat, chest clip at her belly and the crotch buckles completely undone. I asked her if she knew she wasn't buckled (because I did that ONCE and I felt terrible about it) and she said

"yes, she was tired and screaming and I didn't want to fight her so I left her unbuckled".

This friend also has a 6 YO in NOTHING and a hefty 8 YO in NOTHING. I'm sure they don't pass the 5 step test by height. She's banking on the fact that she drives a large SUV.

I pray every day they don't get in a crash. All of her kids would be seriously injured (her barely 5 YO is in a booster but she doesn't sit correctly, 2 YO is in a FF evenflo Chase w/ no chest clip)
I've tried to help but she doesn't take anything I say seriously. I offered to help her install her seats and she said they were "fine".

 

ketchupqueen

CPST and ketchup snob

Staff member

• Sep 20, 2010

• #2

Well, sadly, you can't save everyone. You did what you could, short of calling the police. If you can't interact with her without freaking out about the car seat issues, maybe the friendship is over; if so, you could call the cops next time you see her driving with her kids unrestrained, but realize it probably means the end of your friendship, and quite possibly won't help anyway.

 

skylinphoto

New member

• Sep 20, 2010

• #3

I talked my friend into getting sceneras for her babies (twins) and a nautilus for her 5 year old. She bought all the seats herself which was awesome since she doesnt have a lot of money. I told her how to use them and helped her install them when i was there. I thought I did great.

Then, I went to visit months later. She put the nautilus in her closet. Her 5 year old doesnt use a seat or a seatbelt. Her babies are FFing in the sceneras with belly clips, straps they could be lifted out of because they're so loose, and they're so recline and VERY loosly installed. She's supposed to use locking clips because she has an older car and doesnt so the seats move around a ton.
I was so disappointed seeing that. I didnt say anything because at that point, what's it gonna change? Her kids are SO unsafe in the car. It makes me sick to see her drive them anywhere.

I pray she never gets into an accident. It's so sad because she used to be my best friend of 12 years (no longer talk due to unrelated drama) and I LOVE her children.

Sometimes, you do and offer all you can but nothing comes of it. At least you tried. I hope you friend never gets into an accident.

 

swtgi1982

New member

• Sep 20, 2010

• #4

My Brother and SIL are the same way, I helped them this past weekend, and could not convince them to keep their 23lb 20mon old RF. I just had to shrug it off as the fact is for now they are safer now then they were since the seat was not tight at all nor was the harness. Also we got their 32lbs 3yr old back into a harness and out of a horrid NB booster that she in no way fit into (given to them by the policeman, who was a tech)

Both girls were happy with their new "pretty pink seats" thanks to me and my mother funding them to make these kids safer.

 

littleangelfire

Well-known member

• Sep 20, 2010

• #5

I hear ya. We drove by a car yesterday and my mom said "you better not look." So I did. Goind 45mph down a busy street that's not a stranger to accidents and they've got a baby sitting on the front passenger's lap. Both passenger and baby unbuckled, best I could tell. HOW STUPID CAN YOU GET!! REally, most of the time I figure the mistakes people make are done out of ignorance, not negligence and I think it's an important difference. If they learn better, they'll do better, right? I made mistakes before I knew better. But that is negligence in my opinion. It's hard to know that a 2 year old is safer rear facing if no one has ever told you that before. It's hard to know your 7 year old still needs a booster if no one ever mentioned it. It is not at all difficult to surmise the damage that can occur if you place your 6-9 month old baby on your lap in the front seat while the vehicle is moving. And no, the backseat was not full.

 

K

kaitlyn

Senior Community Member

• Sep 21, 2010

• #6

littleangelfire said:

I hear ya. We drove by a car yesterday and my mom said "you better not look."

Click to expand...

My boyfriend says this all the time. "Don't look beside you, it willonly upset you."

Most of the time he tells me later what he saw that even he knew was wrong (and he knows practically nothing about car seats). Common ones are infants in mom's lap, tiny 2 year olds in no back boosters and preschoolers in nothing, seat belt if they're lucky.

 

CrabbyBunchX3

New member

• Sep 21, 2010

• #7

Unfortunately you can't save everyone.

littleangelfire said:

We drove by a car yesterday and my mom said "you better not look." .

Click to expand...

My DH used to say the same thing to me. Now, he tells me to look at "enter misuse that he sees here."

 

Holly

New member

• Sep 21, 2010

• #8

I saw some people leave a parking lot yesterday with a baby on the passenger's lap.

 

susanx4

New member

• Sep 21, 2010

• #9

i saw a pick up truck with 3 adults across the front, and an infant seat on the passengers lap.

 

C

ConnorsMommy

New member

• Sep 23, 2010

• #10

My husband is tired of hearing me comment on car seat misuse that I see. For example, a FF infant seat, an ancient car seat, straps way too loose, belly clips, babies FF early etc.
It is frustrating to me when I see misuse because I want to help people keep their kids safe, but you never know if someone will be happy to receive the advice or will get offended.
Jenni

 

mlohry

New member

• Sep 24, 2010

• #11

I was at a friend's garage sale the other day and 7 people got into a 5 passenger truck, you do the math, 3 were kids under 4. No one was sitting properly, kids on laps. Just today on my way home, I saw a carseat that maybe was installed in the back seat, but the baby maybe 9 months was sitting on an adult lap next to the FF seat. Then the other day I saw an infant bucket FF, same week I saw a maybe one year old, climbing out of their RF bucket while mom was driving 65 mph down the freeway. Then about a month ago, I saw a RF bucket with a newborn sitting on an adult lap next to the bucket. Should I go on, sometimes I wonder am I the only one that cares????? Just say a prayer for wisdom over the parents and angels over the kids! Makes my blood boil! Oh, don't get me started on what I see when I pick my boys up for school!

 

nevaehsmommy

New member

• Sep 25, 2010

• #12

My neighborhood is full of misuse and no one seems to care. We have a three year old in a FFing infant seat. The straps go over the shoulders but dont clip any where. Then we have a BRAND new two year old in a HBB with a lap only belt. NOT ONE school age child wears even a seat belt. Most of the time I see a 5 passenger car with 5 or 6 kids in the back seat. I have tried talking to some of the moms but they dont really seem to care at all. One mom told me if it were not for the free car seat her daughter would have rode in her lap from the hospital. Daughter went from infant seat to seat belt. I dont get it. My SIL did the same thing though. I bought her a scenera for her baby shower bc she said she did not have money. So then she bought a travel system on CL and took the scenera back to walmart and now her 20 month old is in a HBB ....

 

S

swirvnrn

New member

• Sep 25, 2010

• #13

At what point are these parents breaking the law?

I work in an ER and see/hear all kinds of stories and am not affraid to tell someone their kid will die if they get in an accident. Should be considered child abuse to not have them in a proper seat!!!