Bus or drive? And how much to pay car pool?

DD1 is at a new school this year and so our prior transportation solutions don't work this year. For the last 2 weeks she's been taking the bus. I drive her and DH to his work, he gets dropped off and she takes the bus from there as there is a bus terminal. It saves her 20 mins. over leaving directly from home and saves her from a couple block walk to the stop in our frigid winters and from waking in the dark in the winter.

We found out that one of the girls in her class, that DD totally gets along with, lives about 10 blocks from us. Her mom switched to working half time this year specifically so she could drive her DD to this new school. Mom was worried about the bus (regular public city bus, not school bus), walking to the bus stop in the dark in the morning and bus ride is 70 minutes from our area). She offered to pick up DD and drive her in the mornings. This would save DD 30 minutes from when we usually leave. I told her I'd talk it over with DD and DH and let her know. I also told her that if this worked out then I'd contribute towards gas and she said absolutely not as she was going there anyway and this wasn't out of her way at all.

Of course I'd give her a gas card or grocery card or something as I don't want bad feelings to build up because she ends up feeling like she's doing something for nothing. So, my questions are:

1. How much would you pay mom? The morning bus ride costs $22/mth so I'm not sure the car pool would save us anything.
2. How often would you pay mom? Gas card every month? One at X-mas, one at end of year? Every 3 months?
3. How do I ask her if she has lap/shoulder belts in the back seat and adjustable head rests without sounding like a loon?
4. Is DD significantly safer on the bus anyway such that I should just decline the offer?

There are some days when DD would still have to take the bus, like when her DD has appointments (she already told me about a couple coming up) or when the girl is sick and not going to school, etc. Or I could end up having to drive DD if we get short notice.

If she said absolutely not to paying, then I would give a gift card at Christmas and at the end of the year.

You could also let her know that if SHE is every sick, then you can drive the girls, or drive the girls to the bus stop at your DH's work.

natysr said:

If she said absolutely not to paying, then I would give a gift card at Christmas and at the end of the year.

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Yes, I had more than one conversation with her about it and she reiterated the 2nd time that she didn't want any money.

How much would be fair for each gift card? Keeping in mind that there are some days I will need to drive DD. $75? $50?

natysr said:

You could also let her know that if SHE is every sick, then you can drive the girls, or drive the girls to the bus stop at your DH's work.

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This is a good idea, I just have to see if we could make it work. We're already having a really tough time getting up so much earlier than the last 9 years of school... We leave an hour earlier than we used to and we're all night owls so we are having to readjust years of never having gotten up this early. So, we just barely get DD to the bus now. Picking up her friend adds 10 minutes and we'd miss the bus (she's 5 minutes further from us whereas we're on her route to school). If I don't have a meeting at work, I could just drive them both, as long as her friend doesn't mind having to drop off DH and then DD2 first. If I have a meeting, not sure what I'd do....if I know in advance I can make sure say I'm not available first thing in the a.m. but sickness isn't planned so it's not like mom would be able to give me advance warning.

I think $50 would be fine.