DS has been riding around without his booster at camp for a month!!!!!

I just walked into the living room after putting DS1 to bed and saw his red Monterey that we bought specifically for camp sitting in the corner of the room. "What is the booster doing here?" I asked DH. He looked at me all confused and said "I took it out of my trunk. How long should I have kept it in there?" Excuse me! "What is it doing in your trunk? It's supposed to live at camp? Has he not had a booster at camp then? How did it get in your trunk?" He said he didn't know and then I remembered that he and DS had flown to CT last month to see the grandparents without me and DS2 and they had used the Monterey then. That was exactly a MONTH ago!!!! I immediately went into DS's room and asked him if he'd been without his booster at camp all this time. He said yes. I asked him if he went on any field trips without a booster and he said yes! He knows it's not safe, he knows the purpose of the booster, and he still rode in the van with just the seatbelt because he's the only one at camp that has a booster (I think there's one other kid that has a backless booster). I asked him if the camp counselors ever asked him where his booster was after seeing him with it and helping him carry it every day for a month. He said no one ever said anything! Ugh, I'm so mad right now! Mad at DH that he never took the booster out of his trunk and gave it back to the camp. Mad at DS for choosing to ride in the van multiple times without a booster even though he knows it's not safe. Mad at DS for never telling me or DH that he didn't have his booster at camp. And mad at the camp for never asking what happened to DS's booster! Thank god camp is over tomorrow!

Did you remind your DH to return the booster to camp after the trip?

I wouldn't be mad at the camp. It is not the norm (unfortunately) for kids that age to bring boosters to camp. They probably though "oh good, these people finally came to their senses and stopped burdening us with that stupid booster seat." Unless you are in one of the states that requires kids to be boostered until 8 years old, it isn't their job to ask about a booster for a child that is past the legal age to have one.

I also wouldn't be mad at your 7 year old either. (Happy Birthday to him. ).

It can be really hard to stand out from his peers and be the only one with a booster. It is not surprising that a kid his age would not remind his parent about a forgotten booster. While he may *know* it is unsafe. He really doesn't *get* it on the same level that you and I do.

It is out job as parents to keep our kids safe.

I agree that it's not the camp's fault. It probably would have been best for someone to ask the first day they saw him without it, but at that age lots of kids are "graduating" from boosters.

I would expect my child to ask about her booster, but I would not put the responsibility on her unless I had very specifically told her that she was never to ride without a booster and that she should call me if anyone asks her to. Kids are used to adults making decisions for them.

Glad nothing happened and your DS is ok!

[/QUOTE]I would expect my child to ask about her booster, but I would not put the responsibility on her unless I had very specifically told her that she was never to ride without a booster and that she should call me if anyone asks her to. Kids are used to adults making decisions for them.[/QUOTE]


I agree with that. I wouldn't be mad at the camp, but I would be upset with ds for riding w/o a booster. He should know that he has to be in a booster. I would, though, be furious with dh. He should definitely know that his kid needs to be in a booster and that since the camp transports his kid, he needs to leave a proper restraint for him.

I don't know the restraint laws in your state, but if they have the typical 8/80/4'9" rule, I would bring it up to the camp to inform them that the kids they transport have to be in boosters. Maybe they just don't know better.

natysr said:

Did you remind your DH to return the booster to camp after the trip?

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No, because DH is the one that takes him to camp every single day and the booster was supposed to stay at camp. I never saw the booster again after the CT trip so I assumed it was at camp. DH never goes in his trunk since the latch is really hard to close so I never would have even thought he would have put the booster in the trunk. He NEVER puts anything in the trunk! Before when he took the booster to camp he put it in the backseat next to DS's Regent.

chickabiddy said:

I would expect my child to ask about her booster, but I would not put the responsibility on her unless I had very specifically told her that she was never to ride without a booster and that she should call me if anyone asks her to. Kids are used to adults making decisions for them.

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The first day of camp he didn't have his booster yet and I told him he wasn't allowed to go on any field trips since he didn't have it. I knew he had swimming the first day, but figured it was at the camp. Apparently the swimming pool isn't on campus and he ended up riding in the van to the pool even though I told him he couldn't go anywhere without his booster. For the first month of camp I'd ask him every day if he rode in his booster and he'd tell me yes. I didn't ask him after his trip to CT since I figured he was after doing it 3 times a week for a month.

mydogteaser said:

I don't know the restraint laws in your state, but if they have the typical 8/80/4'9" rule, I would bring it up to the camp to inform them that the kids they transport have to be in boosters. Maybe they just don't know better.

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We're in CA and the law is 6 years OR 60 lbs I think. So pretty much no one over the age of 6 is in a booster.

natysr said:

Did you remind your DH to return the booster to camp after the trip?

I wouldn't be mad at the camp. It is not the norm (unfortunately) for kids that age to bring boosters to camp. They probably though "oh good, these people finally came to their senses and stopped burdening us with that stupid booster seat." Unless you are in one of the states that requires kids to be boostered until 8 years old, it isn't their job to ask about a booster for a child that is past the legal age to have one.

I also wouldn't be mad at your 7 year old either. (Happy Birthday to him. ).

It can be really hard to stand out from his peers and be the only one with a booster. It is not surprising that a kid his age would not remind his parent about a forgotten booster. While he may *know* it is unsafe. He really doesn't *get* it on the same level that you and I do.

It is out job as parents to keep our kids safe.

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Yes, I totally agree with this. I remember being that age and feeling mortified if I was at all different from my peers. Plus I was shy - too shy to speak up to a counselor.

And yeah, they really don't *get* it about how they can be hurt in a crash. Heck, based on all the carseat misuse out there, I'm guessing a lot of adults don't *get* it either.

I'm really glad your DS is okay and didn't get hurt!

I completely understand why you are so upset. I guess I took what you said differently than others because if you feel mad, sad, whatever, then that is how you feel and feelings are feelings and I think it is normal to have a lot of feelings when confronted by this frightening situation and the what ifs of it. That does not mean you are punishing your 7 yo or holding him personally responsible for this, right? I'm glad he is okay!

However, thinking about it in the other way
(1) Did you tell the camp you did not give them permission to transport your child without his booster?
(2) I would never expect to have to remind my DH to use a car seat. Aren't we both supposed to be equal partners in parenting and both responsible for our children and their safety. IOW, I'd be mad too, but hopefully would use this as a learning experience so it never happens again.

essnce629 said:

We're in CA and the law is 6 years OR 60 lbs I think. So pretty much no one over the age of 6 is in a booster.

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Yup, IME way too many parents in CA assume that since the law is 6 years or 60 lbs. that it's safe and okay for their kindy kids to ride without boosters (I've even overheard a parent saying how happy she was that in a week she'd be "done with carseats" b/c her youngest was turning 6 ). It's a challenge to keep kids boostered past age 6-7 here, not just b/c so many kids ride without boosters but b/c so many parents aren't aware of how poorly an adult seat belt fits a typical 7YO and find it odd at best to see other parents insisting that their 7-8YOs use boosters (DD2 told me another parent whom we've carpooled with, in DD2's words "sounded a bit disgusted" that I kept sending a booster with DD2 for carpool.)

essnce629 said:

The first day of camp he didn't have his booster yet and I told him he wasn't allowed to go on any field trips since he didn't have it. I knew he had swimming the first day, but figured it was at the camp. Apparently the swimming pool isn't on campus and he ended up riding in the van to the pool even though I told him he couldn't go anywhere without his booster. For the first month of camp I'd ask him every day if he rode in his booster and he'd tell me yes. .

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I can't imagine most kids telling a camp counselor, "I can't go w/o my booster."

IF the child DID say this (and was adamant about it), what is the staff supposed to do?

• Leave 1 staff and 1 child behind and not comply with camp regulations and/or child care laws regarding adult:child ratios for the rest of the campers?
• Call child's parent and ask them to 1) bring booster 2) come pick up the child (and have entire group wait until the child is picked up or parent arrives with booster)? [That would definitely put your child in the outcast category with both staff and campers, even if they recognized it wasn't the child's fault that his mom was picky. ]
• Convince child that it wasn't a big deal and put 'em on the van?

Considering the majority of camp staffers are high school/college age kids, I think the likelihood of having one with knowledge of CPS, and being an advocate for best practice would be extremely rare. The latter strategy is the obvious choice. For that matter, most PARENTS aren't aware of 'best practice,' the dangers of not using a booster when one is warranted, or that state law reflects minimum, rather than best practice.

Personally, I strive to keep the kids in my care as safe as possible (even when they're transported by their parents), but there are times I've gone with less than best practice because best practice was not practical.

I bit my tongue this summer when I watched kids pile on the van at the Y. Many were clutching their backless boosters, BUT there were no headrests in the van.

flipper68 said:

I can't imagine most kids telling a camp counselor, "I can't go w/o my booster."

IF the child DID say this (and was adamant about it), what is the staff supposed to do?

• Leave 1 staff and 1 child behind and not comply with camp regulations and/or child care laws regarding adult:child ratios for the rest of the campers?
• Call child's parent and ask them to 1) bring booster 2) come pick up the child (and have entire group wait until the child is picked up or parent arrives with booster)? [That would definitely put your child in the outcast category with both staff and campers, even if they recognized it wasn't the child's fault that his mom was picky. ]
• Convince child that it wasn't a big deal and put 'em on the van?

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The way the camp is set up, there's always a choice for some kids to go on the field trips and others to stay back at camp. So there's always kids and camp counselors at camp at all times. Lot's of times DS wouldn't want to go swimming or go on the field trip and would stay behind with all the other campers to do sports or other activities at camp. So if he had told the counselors he couldn't ride in the van without his booster, he would have just stayed behind at camp and it wouldn't have been a problem at all.

But camp ended on Friday, so I'm glad it's not an issue any more. I'm just mad that we spent $120 on a booster specifically for camp (after returning the ProBooster) and it barely even got used! DS rides in the FR85 and Regent full-time at home so the Monterey will pretty much get zero use for the rest of the year.