Husband wants to know which arrangement is safest!

MarathonMama · Jul 31, 2010

Husband and I are having a debate ...

Seats we have:
2 MAs (30lb RF)
1 RNXT (35lb RF)
1 2010XT (45lb RF)

Kids stats:
4y8m 38lbs
26m 27lbs
4m 14lbs

Correct me if I'm wrong, from safest to least safe (?????):

1) All 3 RF
2) 2yo RF, oldest FF harnessed
3) 2yo RF, oldest boostered (doesn't meet 40lb min in Canada) ** assuming proper belt fit and maturity**
4) 2yo and 4y8m old both FF harnessed

Hypothetically, we're trying to figure out if it would be better to booster my 38lb 4y8m old or to put my 26m old FF (in a RN with safe stop, if that matters). My husband thinks that putting the oldest in a booster in order to keep my 2yo RF would be sacraficing my oldest's safety.

carseatcoach · Jul 31, 2010

Buying a new seat, even a Scenera, is not an option? Because boostering the oldest is not legal, and a 2yo is significantly safer RFing.

MarathonMama · Jul 31, 2010

Long story short ... reaaaalllllllly difficult 3 across. The girls are literally clawing at eachother. I can NOT switch the seats around, and even if I did then my 2yo would injure the baby instead. The plan is to wait until ODD is 40lbs for a booster so we can put her alone in the 3rd row and keep other 2 RF in 2nd row ... everyone has their own space.

My husband just wants me to FF my 2yo and keep ODD harnessed in our 3 across ... but I'm NOT ok with that! Hypothetically, if ODD was 40lbs it would be safer to have her boostered so that we can keep 2yo RF, right?!?

I'm hoping she gains the weight soon so we can booster train so 2yo can stay RF

Of course, we have them the way they are because it's our only safe option at this point and we will keep them that way ... just trying to settle the debate for my husband who is pressuring me to turn 2yo FF as a solution to them being face to face and having a back seat smack down, kwim?!?

glockchick · Jul 31, 2010

Why can't you put a harnessed seat in 3rd row?

MarathonMama · Jul 31, 2010

Ah crud ... I had a HUGE post explaining the car dynamics etc, but thought it was way too much information so I deleted it and paired it down. Sorry!

Kia Rondo ... no to tethers in the 3rd row. Nothing will fit RF. Believe me, we've tried everything with the seats we have and there is no extra $$$$ floating around for another seat as we're saving for a booster in the coming months.

glockchick · Jul 31, 2010

I see. That sucks. I feel your pain.

In that case, I'd probably go ahead and put the almost 5 year old in a booster as long as she sits well in it.

steph_s · Jul 31, 2010

Can you put some kind of barrier up so the 2yo can't touch the baby? I use a soft sided dog crate that I cut up to fit in between 2 of my seats so my 7yo can't fight with the 3yo and it works great. (Plus it was only like $10-$15 so works great and it's cheap! He can hit, kick, throw stuff and yet can't get anything over there to harm the 3yo.

Can you put your 4yo in the xtsl rear facing until he/she gains that last few pounds or has it been outgrown in height already?

I just don't like the sound of a child under 40lbs in a booster unless that child is like 6 or 7 years old and I don't like the idea of turning a 2yo around ff either.

MarathonMama · Aug 1, 2010

If we could turn the xt around and have the girls switch seats, I would. However, we can't in our car! The boot makes it impossible to fit because of the mechanisms to fold/roll the seat forward for access to the 3rd row.

We might be able to put DS into the xtsl in the centre, put YDD into a MA outboard (where the bucket currently is) and leave ODD FF outboard in her XT ... but that would mean giving up the bucket for DS and that would make going out near impossible as I need to put DS on the ground while I load the other 2. I also can't put a RF MA in where the FF XT is and leave the bucket as the MA won't fit there either even though they puzzle well together in the same direction.

Besides, I think even if the girls were both RF (or FF for that matter) it wouldn't solve the behaviour problem ... they'd just find another way!

As for the barrier, we've tried a few things and they just pull them down or shove through them. My YDD can kick them down too.

Our next desperate attempt is to keep YDDs nails really short and put a baby leg on ODDs arm to help deter YDD from clawing her sisters arm

*** Does anyone know if putting a 40lb 4.75yo in a booster is any less safe than having that same child harnessed? (assuming good belt fit and maturity).

NannyMom · Aug 1, 2010

MarathonMama said:
If we could turn the xt around and have the girls switch seats, I would. However, we can't in our car! The boot makes it impossible to fit because of the mechanisms to fold/roll the seat forward for access to the 3rd row.

We might be able to put DS into the xtsl in the centre, put YDD into a MA outboard (where the bucket currently is) and leave ODD FF outboard in her XT ... but that would mean giving up the bucket for DS and that would make going out near impossible as I need to put DS on the ground while I load the other 2. I also can't put a RF MA in where the FF XT is and leave the bucket as the MA won't fit there either even though they puzzle well together in the same direction.

Besides, I think even if the girls were both RF (or FF for that matter) it wouldn't solve the behaviour problem ... they'd just find another way!

As for the barrier, we've tried a few things and they just pull them down or shove through them. My YDD can kick them down too.

Our next desperate attempt is to keep YDDs nails really short and put a baby leg on ODDs arm to help deter YDD from clawing her sisters arm

*** Does anyone know if putting a 40lb 4.75yo in a booster is any less safe than having that same child harnessed? (assuming good belt fit and maturity).

Bolded mine. I agree, them both FF won't stop the problem. LittleS and Sofi are both RF and LittleS still grabs and pinches Sofi.

As for the booster, that we don't know. If a child fits, and has proper maturity, we don't know if harnessed or booster is safer.

How about a sticker reward chart? Everyone who is nice in the car, the entire ride gets a sticker (or hand written star) on their chart when you get home. After x many stars, they get a small reward.

MarathonMama · Aug 1, 2010

Ugh, I'm not alone in the pinching?!? No one ever talks about it!

They mostly get squirrely when the ride is longer than 10mins and YDD doesn't like it when ODD is busy with something else and ignoring her

I can't blame them for getting bored ...

I'll try a reward system of some sort - thanks!

NVMBR02 · Aug 1, 2010

MarathonMama said:
We might be able to put DS into the xtsl in the centre, put YDD into a MA outboard (where the bucket currently is) and leave ODD FF outboard in her XT ... but that would mean giving up the bucket for DS and that would make going out near impossible as I need to put DS on the ground while I load the other 2. I also can't put a RF MA in where the FF XT is and leave the bucket as the MA won't fit there either even though they puzzle well together in the same direction.

I think this is your best bet. I might be missing something, but why would you have to put the baby on the ground? DD2 has been in the center for almost a year now. I open on the passenger side and put the baby in the center. Ds then gets in (I used to help him but now he gets in himself) and then I open the door for dd1 on the driver's side (she can now open the door and get in herself). I buckle the baby in from whichever side seems better at the time. If it is raining, I buckle her from the front seat. I think if you tried it out it wouldn't be a rough as you think. It might take a trip or two to figure out the best way for you to load and unload but I am sure that laoding and unloading wouldn't be as difficult as you think.

glockchick · Aug 1, 2010

I agree. While a bucket is convenient, it's not as hard to do without it as you think.

LuckyFins3Lil'Fish · Aug 1, 2010

I agree w/ Vanessa & Shanna. Losing your bucket is not a bad thing. Why does he have to go on the ground? Why not lay him in his seat quikly, wear him or use your stroller?

I'm assuming you're worried about the 2yo running while putting baby in right? The ise of a stroller is a great thing here. Leave baby in stroller while putting 2yo or vice versa.

I would leave my girls in their stroller while I put DS in when the girls were still babies (they still are really, lol) & DS was a flight risk.

MarathonMama · Aug 1, 2010

LuckyFins3Lil'Fish said:
I agree w/ Vanessa & Shanna. Losing your bucket is not a bad thing. Why does he have to go on the ground? Why not lay him in his seat quikly, wear him or use your stroller?

I'm assuming you're worried about the 2yo running while putting baby in right? The ise of a stroller is a great thing here. Leave baby in stroller while putting 2yo or vice versa.

I would leave my girls in their stroller while I put DS in when the girls were still babies (they still are really, lol) & DS was a flight risk.

I usually put DS on the ground while I buckle 2yo into her seat and my oldest gets into her seat on her own. I reach over the base to buckle 2yo in while he waits for me. Then I put him in last. Everyone is contained

My biggest concern is coming from the house to the car (and vice versa). We live on a busy road and 2y is a runner! When we're out and about I can/do use the stroller.

Another major reason is that we live in Canada ... I would prefer to have the bucket seat for over the winter. We also use the bucket for grocery shopping. I have a wrap to use, but it's no easier than putting both in the double stroller. I could also just switch him to a MA for now and switch him back for the cold weather. Just seems a waste of a brand new seat ... or a waste of the XTSL for a 14lb baby

I guess I haven't relented to the idea that getting anywhere with 3 young kids is the most time consuming and frustrating thing I've ever done!

Husband wants to know which arrangement is safest!

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