A tricky WWYD re: loaning seat

mkmama

Active member
I'm at a loss what to do...I really want to loan my BIL one of my seats for my nephew to use, but its a somewhat complicated situation (isn't it always with family?!?!?)

Nephew is 2.5 years old and riding in an old seat that expired in December. The fit for him is definitely less than ideal as well. I've commented to BIL numerous times that it needs replaced, etc, and always get the same standard response that "it's fine, etc etc etc"

In the past, I've offered to let him borrow one of my seats until he gets a new one, but he's always flat out turned me down.

I was complaining to DH the other day that its really bothering me that my nephew is still riding in this seat for a number of reasons:

1. Nephew is 28 mos, probably just at/over 30 lbs, and short for his age. My biggest concern though is that his head his HUGE for his other stats...it terrifies me that he is FF and has been since 12 mos. This child is really one that needs to be still RF to prevent internal decapitation in a crash -- but I've tried suggesting that (and only let him ride RF in my vehicle) and its pretty much a no-go.

2. BIL is divorced...his ex would have a SPECTACULAR custody case against him if he were in a crash and nephew was injured at all in that seat. Family keeps telling me not to worry about it because BIL and ex get along great...they just don't see that that can change in a heartbeat when a child is injured.

DH told me that BIL has indicated to him that he WOULD use one of my seats if I loan it to him...but ONLY if he can use it for the entire time until nephew outgrows it (instead of a couple of months I was envisioning while he gathers funds to replace his current seat) -- and therein lies the problem.

I have the following seats...2 Nautis, MyRide, TF, Avenue, Radian XTSL, BabyTrend FlexLoc, 2 Dorel booster seats (which my DS1 uses only when absolutely necessary, as I don't like the fit of them).

I was originally going to let him borrow one of the Nautis and just switch the other one back and forth between our two cars for DS1 since he's booster training in it...but it will be forever and a day before nephew outgrows a Nauti, and I will need/want it back before then. Also, with DD being born tomorrow, I really don't want to give up one of our RF seats for an extended period of time because I'm not sure exactly which seats I'll need to do our 3 across in our Impala for our own three children...and what seats will fit her best. I'd be much more open to giving him a RF seat (and would in a heartbeat) if he would RF nephew, but he absolutely won't.

WWYD?? Give him a seat, knowing you won't get it back for at least a year (or if you do, it'll create very hard feelings -- this of course is my favorite BIL...it'd be so much easier if it wasn't!!), and it'll make it harder (if not impossible) to transport all 3 of your own children in one of your vehicles? Or just keep pushing him to get a new seat of his own while nephew continues to ride in current seat? If I had the funds, I'd just buy a new seat for him to borrow...but that's just not an option right now...
 
ADS

babyherder

Well-known member
I would give your BIL the Nautilus and get your oldest son a HBTB so you don't have to move your second Nautilus around. That's assuming that he's doing well booster training and would be fine in a booster in your second vehicle.
 

DahliaRW

New member
Can you swing a turbo for your ds so you don't have to move the nautilus? If so, then give him a Nautilus.

But honestly, if he's not going to listen, then I probably would end up dropping it if it's majorly inconvenient for you to lend him a seat.
 

BookMama

Senior Community Member
If you can swing a Turbo for your child, why not just buy your nephew a Maestro and be done with it?

(Oh, and a 30+ lb. 28MO in a properly installed and used FF seat doesn't bother me nearly as much as one in an expired seat.)


:twocents:
 

aisraeltax

New member
just give him e seat. its easier on everyone..including you. OR, buy your nephew a new seat. I know Big Lots had some really cheap seats a few weeks ago ($60 for a HBB that harnessed for quite a while..though i cant remember the exact seats). no, not what i would want to do, but better than what he's in now.
 

cookie123

New member
As hard as it is, it might be best to let it go. You'll probably never get your seat back, for sure not in the condition you'd like it to be in for you to use it. Or if you can swing it, get him the Maestro. Could it be a birthday gift?
 

Splash

New member
I wouldn't. It's not a concern for him, let it go. I've had to do it with my nephews as well.
 

KaysKidz

Senior Community Member
I'm 'loaning' out a seat. I don't expect to get it back. I'm just going to order another. It's not worth $70 (or even $150 if that's the case) to worry about it and cause friction. I'd rather be happy knowing the kiddo is safer then they were before, then ask for my seat back.
 

tjham

New member
Yeah, my daughter was dating a guy with his tiny 4 yr old in a TB. I had a pink Nauti my granddaughter had outgrown so I lent it to him. My daughter and I were glad to see her out of the booster. She loves the butterflies on the Mariposa!

But now DD broke up with him. No way will I ask for the Nauti back. :eek:
 

CTPDMom

Ambassador - CPS Technician
I think a GN, purchased on clearance at Target, would make a GREAT Christmas/Hanukah gift for your nephew! :thumbsup:
 

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