Grrr!! I"m so sick of this!!!

MagnificentMama

Senior Community Member
My dad drops of my DD at her preschool 2x a week because I have to be at work at 6:30 in the AM. Technically her school is open then, but I just thought for the sake of convienence she could stay and sleep a little longer and he could just drop her off.

Well today he decides to tell me that he could only buckle the top (chest clip) in the car b/c her coat was too big. I"VE TOLD HIM OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO NNNEEVVVEERR PUT HER BIG PUFFY COAT ON WHEN SHE"S IN THE CAR!!! He keeps giving me these crap excuses like "well i don't warm up my car" (I DON"T EITHER!!!) and about "if the parents are in a roll over crash and "knocked out" and the kid is in the car for 4 hours in the cold, then she'll freeze to death. Uhmmm NO! It's always on her LAP! She'll be DEAD if she was in a roll over buckled like that to "keep her warm" because of the compression and the fact that he only has her secured into a pre crash positioner that's DESIGNED TO BREAK WHEN YOU"RE IN AN ACCIDENT!!!!

He's so stubborn and won't listen to a word i say. I tell him all the time to NEVER do that and now I know for a fact he doesn't listen to a word I say. He thinks he knows more than me and I just came from my CPST course! I don't EVER want her to wear a coat in the car. EEVVEERR!! Why can't he just respect my parenting decision?!?!?! Worse Case Scenario: Hypothermia is treatable, death by ejection is not! I don't comprimise her safety so I guess from now on she's getting dropped off at by me super early at school. :( I just cannot risk her safety like this. I just wanted her to be at school for a shorter amount of time, but i guess thats impossible.

Sorry I just needed to vent. He won't change so I guess I need to stop trusting others. I'm really leinant on most parenting issues, but safety and emotional well being are just non negotiable in my book. This just stinks!
 
ADS

Ali

New member
That's why my in-laws aren't allowed to have DD in their car. They simply won't learn how DD needs to be put in her seat and how the harness needs to go.

When we were trying to teach them how DD went in her infant seat - MIL tried to hook one side of the chest clip and the male end of the buckle together!?!?! Zero common sense.
 

JaRylan

New member
Sorry to hear that, maybe now that you have taken away his privilege of dropping her off he'll come around and realize you mean business. As far as I'm concerned safety issues are not parenting issues...they are safety issues plain and simple that everyone needs to be concerned about.
 

MagnificentMama

Senior Community Member
Sorry to hear that, maybe now that you have taken away his privilege of dropping her off he'll come around and realize you mean business. As far as I'm concerned safety issues are not parenting issues...they are safety issues plain and simple that everyone needs to be concerned about.

Unfortunately that will NEVER happen. He knows everything... period. I could never challenge that ever. It's too bad
 

Morganthe

New member
not to play devil's advocate, but :

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissMommy928
if the parents are in a roll over crash and "knocked out" and the kid is in the car for 4 hours in the cold, then she'll freeze to death. Uhmmm NO! It's always on her LAP!


how would the coat have stayed in her lap during a rollover? ;).

Go even further and think about it -- very young child in freezing cold weather for 4 hours sitting still & shocky.... is not going to be saved by her coat. :(

What makes him think that 4 hours is the magic number? Couldn't it be more or less? :rolleyes: ;)
 

MagnificentMama

Senior Community Member
not to play devil's advocate, but :



how would the coat have stayed in her lap during a rollover? ;).

Sorry! I should have worded the coat on the lap thing differently. There is nothing wrong with her having a coat sitting on her lap. There's a huge problamo with her having a puffy coat on that won't allow her to be harnessed.

I doubt a coat would save her butt from hypothermia being out in the elements for "4 hours". Maybe prolong the inevitable or minimalize the final effects. I'd rather be involved in a roll over knowing my kiddo is as safe as i can make her rather have her go into a roll over with a chest clip and a big jacket just on an offshoot that she might get cold.

Again, it's not so much the actual total misuse (it is, but i could deal with that). It's the lack or willingness to be receptive to education. It's the repeated defiance that apparently he knows more about this than i do. I don't care what he does in his own personal life, but you'd better listen to me when you're caring for the safety of my child. Obviously that's not working right now, and that's fine- his loss and my mistake.
 

rlsadc

Senior Community Member
This is why DD only rides with "approved" and "tested" family members;)

My Aunt told me that she used to hold her on their laps...and she didnt know what the big deal about carseats was anyways...I mean all her kids lived through childhood:rolleyes:
 

broken4u05

New member
I know i will trust my mom when i have a baby to be safe and listen to me. Other than that i am not sure. I do not know about my BF parents if i will let them drive my kids around. I am even going to really have to teach my BF but he has aready said i am the boss when it comes to kids
 

Yoshi

New member
I may be the minority, but no one has EVER driven DD anywhere except my husband and I. My Mom has arthritis in her hands, which would make it hard for her to get DD in her car seat and she also thinks I am "too paranoid" when it comes to safety issues, and I do not trust her (or anyone else) to follow my standards anyway. I guess since I am a SAHM, and basically we do not use babysitters either, it has just worked out this way for us. I agree that your Dad should respect your wishes and your rules. If he can't/won't then you must lay down the law and if that means he is no longer allowed to drive her, than good for you for taking a stand. So, in case you were wondering, yes, DD has been glued to my side for almost 4 years!!!!!:p
 

AdventureMom

Senior Community Member
That must be so frustrating for you... :mad:

FYI, my parents are/used to be similar. My brother and SIL have never and will never let their children ride with them. I have let Nolan, however, but only as he's gotten old enought to say "My harness is too loose" or "My harness isn't buckled" or "Buckle the bottom" (all of which he says to us, even if we interrupted the process momentarily to stop the dog from running into the street or answer the cell phone, etc...). But I think my parents have gotten better b/c they know my brother/SIL will never trust them to drive their kids around - they don't want to lose that privelege with me, too ;)
 

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