Screaming Child!! What to do???

lovinwaves

New member
There is a lady on one of my forums asking advice for her *Screaming* 9mth old. She said it is so loud it makes her ears hurt, and sometimes pop.

So anyways, people are giving her all kinds of advice, but one in particular keeps being recommended. Has anyone heard of spraying, splashing, or squirting water in their childs face when they scream? I have never heard of it before, and was just wondering if anyone else does this, or thinks it would work?
 
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CrabbyBunchX3

New member
That makes me think of spraying a cat when they scratch on furniture they're not to be scratching on(technique used by my friends). An unpleasent response is supposed to condition them to stop... Would I do this to my child? never
 

rlsadc

Senior Community Member
umm..that sounds odd to me..i can see how it would work to distract them from screaming...but i also dont think it is too safe to turn around and spray the child either (even justs whipping your arm around is dangerous)...so i dont know..i am not sure that is what my plan of action would involve...
 

Amaris

New member
I wouldn't do that. I would think the child would soon have a major disliking of water, so bathtime would not be fun. I don't believe that a 9 month old is going to be screaming for no reason. That is a little old for colic, so if mom can't figure out why baby is screaming then she should call the doctor. JMO though.
 

Amaris

New member
That makes me think of spraying a cat when they scratch on furniture they're not to be scrathing on(technique used by my friends). An unpleasent response is supposed to condition them to stop...

My sil used that method to keep her dogs from getting in the garbage!
 

LuvBug

New member
yeah that is the first thing that came to mind was how we trained our dogs lol!

Ive heard of a less dramatic version lol! If you blow quickly in their face, like a puff, they should stop in suprise- unless it is a serious cry. I doubt this would work on a 9mo though. Is she trying to CIO or is the baby crying no matter what she does?
 

scatterbunny

New member
I'm sure eventually it would work--but with a whole host of other problems as a result. :( I would NEVER do that to my child.
 

Simplysomething

New member
So anyways, people are giving her all kinds of advice, but one in particular keeps being recommended. Has anyone heard of spraying, splashing, or squirting water in their childs face when they scream? I have never heard of it before, and was just wondering if anyone else does this, or thinks it would work?

Hmm. I have blown in a baby's face before to get them to stop screaming. It works.

For all of a half of a second.

But that's a half second of silence...
 
I'd be more concerned with *why* the child is screaming. Is she trying CIO? Is the baby sick or uncomfortable? Babies don't usually just produce ear-splitting (or popping) screams for no apparent reason. I'm thinking it's one of two things:

1. She's trying to have him CIO and the poor child is frantic, or

2. He's sick with (most likely) an ear or sinus infection, and she's not picking up on it.

Poor baby, either way. :(

I wouldn't use the water-squirting method, FWIW.
 

lovinwaves

New member
The baby is *not* crying, just starts screaming every once in awhile. She said he does it alot in the car. Someone else's advice was maybe he is deaf and he has to scream to hear himself :confused:
 

lovinwaves

New member
Here is part of what she typed:

I have a son who is almost 9 months old and he has the most powerful set of lungs I have ever heard. He started off screaming when he was mad but now he screams when he is happy, bored, mad, ect. And when I say scream, I mean blood curdling, makes me deaf screaming. He screams so loud that I am surprised my neighbors haven't called the cops on us yet. It literally makes my ears pop. My sister was in the car with us the other day and my son started in and she almost jumped out of the car on the highway. Then today, I was driving and twice he belted out a scream and it scared me so bad I swerved
 

Morganthe

New member
The baby is *not* crying, just starts screaming every once in awhile. She said he does it alot in the car. Someone else's advice was maybe he is deaf and he has to scream to hear himself :confused:

The deaf suggestion makes a lot of sense. A lot of hearing impaired kids do that, including my brother when he was young.

Another reason might be to watch others jump at sudden noises. DD discovered cause & effect at 7 months one morning when she SCREAMED at the table and I immediately popped my head out of the kitchen door to see what was wrong. She saw me react and got the biggest grin on her face. 4 minutes later, she did it again. This time I just leaned against the door and told her 'THAT' wasn't going to work again. Then went back into the kitchen. Poor kid. Mommy just ignored her until she behaved better :p But I'd hate to think what would have happened if I had given my little drama princess even more attn when she acted up.:eek:

For the next 12 months we had ongoing battles where she would shriek bloody murder and wanted me to react immediately. I'd withdraw from the scene or ignore her. It took a lot of patience & consistency, but I have to say, it's what's made her so much easier to live with since she was 2 1/2.
The hardest afternoon was a very hot summer day after a miserably short nap when she was about 10 months old. I went in to her and she SCREAMED in my face. I immediately turned around and walked out. Screaming & crying got louder, then softer. I told her "Mommy would return when she was quiet". As soon as I walked back in, dd screamed again at me. Out went I. Over 3 hours in an non-airconditioned 3rd floor landing doing this. We were both wrung out by emotional roller coaster.

But she didn't scream at me again that day. The next, same thing...but only 45 minutes of walking out -waiting until quiet -- then returning. The day after -- 15 minutes. Never again did it take so long - All I ever did was turn around & touch the door handle, she would quiet down immediately. She can cry all she wants, but no screaming in momma's face. I can't put up with it since my initial instinct is to make it stop immediately. I have difficulty handling loud sharp noises. I didn't get physical, or verbal with her, just left. Best way I could have handled it, imo. I didn't know what else to do :confused:

In the car, I had the rf mirror and I'd talk with her while I was driving. If she screeched, I could see she was ok -- but I'd ignore her until she settled back down. Getting upset because she was hungry or wet or tired -- that was different. This was horrible loud noises that she wanted to see mommy react -- I didn't and they only lasted a couple of try outs. :p
 

LuvBug

New member
yes the deaf thing might be something to look in to.



If he truly is just screaming and she isnt trying to CIO... I dunno.
Children usually do not scream for no reason. We kept 1 little girl in the daycare that would cry all the time because she wanted her mom(obviously we couldnt remedy that for her), we just tried everything we could to make her content and after a while I guess she figured we werent there to kill her or something?!?! lol
But then we had another little girl that we started keeping when she was about 6 weeks old, she was a pretty good baby until about 3-4m old when she would just start screaming all the time, no matter what we did to console her. She would scream bloody murder while you fed her, changed her, held her, rocked her, played with her, let her sit in the floor... no matter what you were doing she would scream. She would scream, tense ALL the muscles in her body, turn red in the face, clinch her fists, and open mouth SCREAM. It would just turn off and on all day. We couldnt figure out what it was, I dont think we ever really did... she got better the more mobile she got. I guess having control of what she wanted to do helped. See my thoughts were that she was trying to tell us something but couldnt. It turns out(after we asked her parents about it) that they would pick her up from daycare(5:15-5:30pm) take her home, feed and bath her, and put her to bed at 7pm and not get her back up until 6am in the morning... no matter what. That was their 'method' of teaching her to sleep at night or whatever. I think that had a LOT to do with why she screamed.
 

babychild taxi

New member
Spraying, squirting, splashing water in a baby's face because they are crying? THAT'S CHILD ABUSE!!

Perhaps the mom could benefit from some parenting courses, have someone she can leave the baby with for a few hours on a regular basis to get a break, etc.

I would hate to think what may happen to that baby if mom continues to have a hard time managing. She needs support (which is okay, a sign of being proactive), personally and professionally (doctor, courses, parenting support, etc). Finding out why baby is crying, screaming is extremely important as a baby's cries are its communication. Parenting is hard work, but the above methods of dealing with baby are simply not acceptable.

K.
Child Development Consultant
"Adopted Auntie to Many"
3 across in a Toyota Echo ("tight fit")
 

snowbird25ca

Moderator - CPST Instructor
I can't believe multiple people would suggest that. :eek: Not something I'd ever do to any child. Heck, I always thought it seemed mean when my parents were training their dog.

My dd has taken to shrieking like that sometimes when she's mad. Mind you she's 2.5, so that probably explains it...lol. Dh had the approach of telling her to stop.. I decided to ignore it or if she was trying to get me to come back in her room I'd tell her mommy doesn't talk to screaming girls... that was usually all it took. She doesn't scream very much anymore. For her it was partly reaction and partly when she was at the development point of needing to be able to say more than what she was verbally able to.

At 9 mos old, I don't really think that any of the ignore methods would really work too well, so I guess it would be a matter of controlling the reaction if the baby is just looking for a reaction.

My question would be has this just recently started, or has this been ongoing since the baby was born? What age did it start, were there any changes in the baby's life - vaccinations, move, start of daycare, change of formula, weaned from breast, moved to a crib, change in routine, anything of that nature? Maybe a new solid food was introduced? I'd look for a precursor to the screaming and maybe that would help identify the cause and help with stopping it. And I do think a trip to the doctor would be a good idea. A 9 mo old might be amused by a reaction and want to see it again - like the way babies play dropsie... but I don't believe it could be manipulative at this age, so there's got to be a reason for it. And finding the reason is what's most important IMO.
 

broken4u05

New member
I would never spray a child with water. that is what you do to a cat or a dog. But i would have the child's ears checked
 

joycemom

New member
I have heard of it before my husband and his cousin both would get so mad when their parents put them to bed (they didn't want to be left out of what was going on at nap time) they would throw a tempertantrum and hold their breath while shaking the crib until they turned blue throwing water on them was the onlt way to make them breath and not pass out. Then sometimes that didn't even work. Thank god my DD is not quite as stubborn but it runs pretty deep on both sides. I am afraid of what my DS will be like when he is born in May:( I wouldn't think that would be necessary if the child i screaming though eventually they have to stop and take a breath. From what you are saying she is just screaming to scream am i correct? She must just like the attention or reaction it recieves so if it got a negative reaction i guess she would stop but it does seem strange to spray them with water. There is not much you can do with a 9mo old to discourage bad or unwanted behavior though. I would try just leaving the room unless it is just while drivin? Then the baby would not get the wanted reaction. Infants are highly amused by the things they can get their parents to do. especially if the mom is putting her hands over her ears and making awful faces.
 

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