my godchildren's house

broken4u05

New member

• Mar 9, 2007

• #1

Well when i was at my godchildren's house. In another post i said that they had gone out but they just texted me and said that they did not hear me nock and they were home. But when i was leaving i looked in the car to see what seats they were using because i had given them a few seats and whenever i come over they are by the front door and i just thought they had taken them out because they needed the car but i wouldn't see the others seats i knew they had.

Ok what i saw in the car. Remember my godchildren are 3,4 and 15 months. She is not even 20 pounds yet she has always been scared. But when i looked in the car i saw 2 no back boosters and a FF crap of a seat. They just don't seem to care about having the kids in seats even when i give them seats. I don't think there is anything much i can do because i have already talked their heads off

 

JaRylan

New member

• Mar 9, 2007

• #2

That's heartbreaking...at least you know now.

 

broken4u05

New member

• Mar 9, 2007

• #3

Meant to say seats not house. I really wish i could change there minds about it. My 3 year old is 31 pounds and could still RF but they have him in a booster. At least i know he can sit still his older brother can not.

 

scatterbunny

New member

• Mar 9, 2007

• #4

What backless boosters are they? If they are Evenflo or Graco maybe you can scare them with the fact that it's against the law because those have minimum weight limits of 40 pounds when used backless? Maryland law also mandates proper use (YAY MD!) so they are also breaking the law with the under-20# child FF.

 

broken4u05

New member

• Mar 9, 2007

• #5

I am unsure about what they are. I will look next time. But it is the same seat they sometimes had him in at 2. God i hate it. And she has never been weighed. The kids never go to the doctor unless they are very sick. So i really dont know how much she really weighs but she is mess than Jack i know because i can feel it and Jack is 19 pounds. Other than calling the cops or someone else what can i really do about it. I could call Child Protective Services on them for a few reasons not major ones other than the car seats but i also know if they take the kids away i will never see them. They have not in any legal way made me the godmother so under the law i have no say on them and being 20 no one give me the kids. It is just a bad thing all the way around and i do not know what to do anymore. All i can really do is be there for the kids.

 

scatterbunny

New member

• Mar 9, 2007

• #6

They won't take the kids away for carseat mistakes--they won't even give a ticket for a first offense, they just provide education. Getting that from a cop might be the "scare" they need to listen to you.

 

broken4u05

New member

• Mar 9, 2007

• #7

O i know that but there are other things as well. The kids almost never have clean cloths other than when i bring new ones over, They never really talk to there kids. One day i went over there and the door was unlocked and i went in and the 3 year old had half a cake with a huge knife and put in inside the dogs cage, The dad has a huge temper and has at times really gone off on the kids. The parents are always fighting and the kids often hear it and the dad has even been to jail because the mom said he hit her but she lied about it and when he was in jail she left the kids and her sister who is now only 18 had to drop out of high school to take care of them. Durning this time the 4 year old was about 2 and he started running into walls and doors to get someone to hold him. Now she has again left them and her sister is like their mom. They are writing on walls just to get someone to look at them. But i think it has been better sence the mom left. Her sister is cooking dinner at night and they are eating together the kids used to eat alone and the parents ate in front of the tv. The house never used to be clean at all but now it is starting to be but what worried me is the mom only left so she can work and get a place to live on her own and wants to take the kids back and i think it is the wrost thing for them.. Sorry a rant i just love the kids

 

scatterbunny

New member

• Mar 9, 2007

• #8

Wow. Just wow. That totally breaks my heart. Poor kids.

 

broken4u05

New member

• Mar 9, 2007

• #9

yup i try to do all i can for the kids but i am just not their mom. I love them to death. The mom just turned 21 with a almost 5 year old a 3 year old and a baby. She was 15 when she got pregant with her first

 

R

rlsadc

Senior Community Member

• Mar 9, 2007

• #10

that really is tragic...it is sad when a young mother doesnt get support, or worse yet, refuses it. age is really no excuse for ignorance and neglect...and i am very sorry that you have to witness it

 

chaoticoctopus

Member

• Mar 9, 2007

• #11

Having worked in the foster system, I can offer some information on how things worked where I was at the time (FL). In cases where there were no addiction issues, no immediate danger of physical abuse/severe neglect, children were often taken from the parents custody conditionally for a short period (like 4-8 weeks). The parent(s) had to work with the caseworkers and take parenting classes and show a bit of dedication to improving their situation, and the children would be returned. I know this sounds awful, and it can be for cases where people are falsely reported by angry exes, neighbors and such, but I've also seen it work miracles for many families. Some families, sadly, just didn't care enough to make an effort, and their poor kids got tied up in the foster system, but the majority were families that really just needed some parenting skills and support to become better parents.

I'm NOT saying you ought to call CPS on them-- only you know the extent of the situation well enough to make that judgement call. But I wanted to offer a little first-hand insight into what *could* happen if you decided to.

Best of luck; this is a really, really tough situation to be in. You obviously love those kids tremendously, bless your heart.

 

PHaley

New member

• Mar 10, 2007

• #12

Do you live on your own? You have a car and a steady job which is a plus. Just wondering if maybe you could offer to the little sister to take them for a while and let her go back to school. She has her heart in the right place but should def finish so she can keep helping her nephews and niece and then if you have them in your custody and the situation doesnt improve, by time you hit 21 and can prove you've been their main/sole support for months CPS might consider letting you keep them.

Its rough I have a lot of worries about my god children and their young unexperienced parents as well. Car seats are a HUGE issue but there are so many more issues and the kids just dont deserve it You are wonderful to not give up on them, just as a godmother should be, loving and praying and staying involved--keep it up, they will be better people in the future just because they've had your love and support.

I will be praying for you and them
Hope it gets better

BTW when'd you change your signature?

 

broken4u05

New member

• Mar 10, 2007

• #13

First i just changed it they are my new seats.
I live with my parents. I do have a great job making good money for my age but i am also a student. They right now live with their aunt, dad and grandmother and she has done sooo many things wrong with them all under than name of god. I belive in god i do but she is crazy. The mom when she was 15 asked to be put on birth control because she was having sex and her mom said no and that is why she had her first. than she made them get married and the dad is not a us citizen yet and like 6 years older than her. I know that age is not everything i have many friends that are young mothers that are doing great. some living on their own some staying with parents it works for them. But she just was not ready to have 1 now she has 3. Unless i drop out of school i do not know any way i could keep the children. The aunt is working on getting her GED but it is hard for her because she is taking care of the children. The grandmother pays her to take care of them so i guess she is kinda like a nanny. And the reason the mom left the kids is because she wants to get a dirorce and the grandmother said if you do you and the kids can not live here so one night she just left.
chaoticoctopus thanks for the info. I really just do not know what to do. But like i said i think things are better sence the mom has been gone and i will see what happens. I am going to call their aunt when i get out of class and see if i can go over.

 

JaRylan

New member

• Mar 10, 2007

• #14

Hope you made it over for a visit and that it went well. The whole situation is so heartbreaking.

 

broken4u05

New member

• Mar 10, 2007

• #15

The grandmother ended up taking them out so i didn't want to intrude. I want them to have time with there grandma as well. I guess the next time i will see them is next friday. I am watching the twins tomorrow but maybe if i get off early i will go over. I really wish there was more i can do but i think for now it is getting better and unless the mom takes them than i do not think i will need to call CPS if she does i will see how their life is with her and i might call depending. They are just such happy kids. I love them soooo much