Question Car Seat Safety Issue

I just watched a video on FB with a child that is 2 years old, about 33" and 27 pounds, we live in NY btw. He was in a high back booster seat with the adult seatbelt holding him in, the shoulder strap was tucked under his arm. This happens to be someone I know.

I am not sure what to do. I know I need to talk to her but I don't know what her reaction will be and do I call CPS? the poor kids safety is on the line and if something (god forbid) were to happen tomorrow I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

Any ideas on how one should handle this??

You most certainly don't call CPS.

It's really commendable that you want to help, but parents tend to see advice about child restraints as an attack on their parenting methods.

You could look up information for a local CPST or seatcheck event and casually give her the information, though.

If you have kids or car seats installed in your car for kids you watch, you could suggest you both go to a seat check together and then lunch afterwards. Make it a day out thing.
Calling CPS would only turn her off and I agree with pp, she would feel attacked.
I don't think any HBB have less than a 30lbs minimum weight limit, you could casually ask her about it. And see if she read the manufacturer's limits and then you would know whether she would be receptive to the information.

You could also make it seem like something you just found out. Tell her something like "I was reading online the other day ad learned something I didn't know. Now I wonder if my child is safe." Have websites ready to give her. Or maybe ask her something like " I'm considering moving _____ to a booster seat can you tell me which seats you researched before buying yours?" Or maybe " im considering moving ____to a booster what do you like about yours? Will you check your owners manual to see what the min/Max weight and height is on it so I will know if _____ is within the limits?" If you dont have a child that age maybe you're considering buying a booster for a niece/nephew or as a birthday present or to donate to the crises center. Anything that gets her to read the owners manual. But in all honesty I think I would go for shock effect. " I stumbled accross something online the other day that floored me. Did you know babies/toddlers/young children can be decapitated in a minor accident if forward facing and that children under five can be decapitated/strangled/ejected from vehicle in a booster seat because they are to small/wiggly/immature for it to make the seat belt fit properly." Be ready to give her websites or printouts. You could even print a bunch of stuff and all shocked and excited hand them to her and tell her "you'll never guess what I stumbled on online. It is so scarey! I'm afraid after reading this that my kids aren't properly restrained. I'm going to be doing a lot more research." Make it about you but also try to give her info that will shock/worry her.

Since you saw their video on youtube you might be able to comment on how you also just saw Belle's Gift and/or Kyle's video and you're concerned about how their LO could also get injured or killed in an accident. Especially Belle's - about a 3yo girl who died because she was in a booster and too small for it.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2LFo8vVi04"]YouTube- The Importance of a 5 Point Harness Car Seat - Belle's Gift[/ame]
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azgBhZfcqaQ"]YouTube- Importance of a 5-Point Harness Carseat[/ame]

Please tread lightly. It is so easy for a parent to feel attacked if you suggest they aren't protecting their child enough.
IMO, if you must say something (I usually don't, I don't feel it is my business unless they ask for help) I would be very indirect. "OMG, what a cutie! I LOVE it!! After I watched your video, I kept browsing you tube clicking on the suggested videos on the side bar and ended up on these videos, they made me bawl! Have you seen them?! Anyway, crazy stuff. Love you guys and keep posting adorable videos, can't get enough!" [link the two videos above]

Good luck! I hope they are receptive. :thumbsup:

I'd say nothing about their child directly. I'd simply send them some links talking about what you found when doing research for your own children. Tell them you were shocked you didn't know all this info so you're sending the links to anyone you know who cares for children. That way they won't feel attacked or singled out.

I would be honest, but be nice. Give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she doesn't know any better. For example "I saw your video, (child's name) is so cute! Recently I was researching carseats for (your child's name) and I found some information you might find useful. I didn't know this either, but kids that age need to be in a harness, and are a lot safer sitting rearfacing. There's a great board you could check out (car-seat.org) or (link some really basic article from an official source, like the state of NY, on car seat safety). I don't want to offend you, just thought you would want to know. I'd want someone to tell me if it were my child. See you soon!" ..anyway, not that word for word maybe, but try not to make her defensive because offended people don't listen very well.

I don't understand the advice to mention it in passing as if it's unrelated to the video you saw. If your friend is clueless enough to miss the fact that you are in fact talking directly about her toddler in a booster, then she's clueless enough to miss the message entirely. I would send her a link to Belle's video and tell her why. I imagine there is something on the car-seat blog that would be useful too. A gently worded but direct email is in order, and if she gets offended about that there's really nothing you can do. At least you know she knows.

It might help to mention the law in NY state, too. A child under 4 must be in a child restraint that is coupled to the vehicle by latch or the vehicle's safety belt. Exception is if the child is over 40 pounds.

http://www.nysgtsc.state.ny.us/seat-vt.htm