I don't get it

pj2rc

New member
I saw it again. DD1 just went to a friends 3 yr old b-day in January .. saw the family getting in the car today and the child was in a booster, I think it was LBB to boot. She's is a peanut ... I doubt she weighs 30 lbs wet. I am by no means the car seat expert all of you are, but I just don't get why people put their kids in the seats they do? Everyone loves their kids and wants what's best. Even before I had any kids in my life and had no reason to know -- I knew that in PA the law is 1yr AND 20 lbs; 4 yrs AND 40 lbs; 8 yrs AND 80 lbs. I just don't understand why people don't even follow these bare minimum requirements -- I just can't understand why people who have kids can't be bothered to do a little bit of research. These are reasonable, educated people. It's not like a booster seat takes up that much less room than a harness seat. I can see how some people would think we were being over the top by keeping our kids ERF and extended harness .... but jeesh .... bare minimum .. as required by law ... is that so much to ask? Of course, law alo requires bike helmets to 12 ... no one seems to care about that either .... I just don't get it? I'm not sheltering my kids --they can still ride in the car, ride the bike, etc ... just do it safely. So --- as the experts you are that see people and talk to people .... what are the reasons you hear? I think some people say -- their kids want the bigger seat ... my kid may ask for a set of knives ... she isn't getting it! (btw .. a few months ago, mom of child above was included in a email I sent out to a few mom friends w/ some videos on child seats -- ERF, Extended harness, choose the right booster, etc. with a short nte I just wanted to share the info w/ moms I love so i never had to hear "I never knew". I don't send her much, so I doubt it went to her junk mail -- lol -- I have some people that overload me and they don't get read.)
 
ADS

thepeach80

Senior Community Member
Because it'll never happen to them. They'll never be the ones in the serious crash, they'll never be the ones who have to rely on their seats. It's sad. My husband's family is the same way. His cousin is a teacher, has her Master's, intelligent and caring mom. Her ds is 2.5 mos younger than Ilana and moved into a booster at 2.5yo, he couldn't have been over 30# if he was that at all. The booster required required he be 37" but his ped said it was o.k. even though he was only 36". His 5yo sister has been in a nbb since 4 or so and I'm think she was not 40# then (it's a Turbo). It's just sad.
 

pj2rc

New member
even if you think "it won't happen" .. how much harder is it to put your child in a harness than a booster .. really? And it doesn't use any more space ... or a marginal difference. Do they not vaccine heir kids either? I think my kids chances of being in a car accident are a lot greater than being exposed to some of the diseases they are vaccinated against.
 

msg221

Well-known member
"I don't get it" is exactly what I said earlier this week. I was on my way to work, stopped at a light next to this woman who was in the left lane to get onto the freeway. In her car she had a young girl about 7 years old in the front seat, not even wearing a seat belt. However, mom was belted in! In the back seat was a 4-5 year old boy, also unrestrained. Yes, I just don't get it!
 

christineka

New member
I don't understand it either, Ffing an 8 month old? Little kids in the front seat? Not even bothering to buckle that kid in the front seat? I do think people believe it won't happen to them. Hopefully it won't. All the news stories of crashes around here always seem to be of people who don't wear the seatbelts, kids aren't restrained and there are deaths. Perhaps the media should make a big deal about the crashes where the people lived because of seatbelts and car seats. There are many people who think riding in a car is dangerous and the seatbelt or car seat won't make a difference.

I don't understand how parents can think an 8 year old child who sits with the shoulderbelt on their cheek can possibly fit the seatbelt correctly without a booster.
 

wvmommy007

New member
There are so many things I don't understand about parents and car seats. I have actually seen, on numerous occasions, infant "bucket" seats used forward facing. I used to work at a gas station, I saw all kinds of terrible things with car seats. I have 2 cousins, with 3 kids between them. The 2 older ones have been in boosters since they were 30 lbs. (about age 3). They are just now 4.5 years old (and still don't sit still and upright in them at all times). One of those kids was turned ff at 8 months old, as soon as she hit 20 lbs. so she "wouldn't cry so much in the car". She is now in a backless booster, because she wanted to be like her much older friend. The other was turned ff a couple days before her first bday when I'd bet she weighed less than 20 lbs.. Then her straps were not adjusted to any higher height until her mom said she was outgrowing the seat, and I told her it wasn't possible because it was a harness/booster combo, and she was way too small for booster. And then I had to adjust them because neither parent knew how. The younger one, who is nearly 3, rides in a ratty car seat with belts twisted so badly they look like noodles instead of straps. He has almost outgrown it by height, possibly by weight, but I don't know for sure. I bet he stays in that seat until the straps won't adjust out far enough to buckle around him, then gets moved to a booster, regardless of age or maturity. Nothing I say helps. Sometimes I am allowed to fix the things I see wrong and am capable of fixing, like adjusting straps higher. Ugh, I just remembered telling the one that her car seat needed a locking clip because she didn't have lock off on her belts, and she said "It's in there tight. I sit in it and pull the belt. Sometimes it comes loose, but I fix it asap." Grrrrrr Sorry this is so long, but I am completely disgusted.
 

ketchupqueen

CPST and ketchup snob
Staff member
Well, in my experience, they just don't "get" it. They may know the law, but not know the REASON behind the law. So they think what they're doing is "good enough." Or it's just not on their radar.

For many, gentle, positive education goes a long way. (There are always some who are just unreachable.)
 

VCSdadBear

New member
I'd be a little harsher and say most people are ignorant, and in fact couldn't be bothered with the "little" things.
 

thepeach80

Senior Community Member
I'd be a little harsher and say most people are ignorant, and in fact couldn't be bothered with the "little" things.

I don't think a lot of parents are ignorant though, especially those of us who have family who do this. They know what 'we/I' do and how I restrain my kids so there must be a safety reason and I told my Dh's cousin her Dr was stupid for 'letting' her use a booster w/ D. She knows it's not as safe but I guess is in heavy denial? The moms on Olivia's birth board are definitely not ignorant, erfing has been talked about enough, they just choose the less safe option b/c they're in a carseat so it doesn't matter which way it faces (yes, they have said this). About 25% are ffing now, which is great b/c that means 75% aren't at 15 mos!
 

pj2rc

New member
I guess I just can't wrap my head around it .... I think I could get it if they thought their kids didn't need any seat at all any more (right or wrong), I guess I even get why people don't ERF because the seats are akward fitting RF in some cars ...... but FF harness vs. FF booster ... really, what difference does it make on their day? Why choose the least safe seat and at such young ages? It can't be just price, becuase the seats last a lot of years and there are convertible sets that are cheap. In my exampe above, I know she did't outgrow a harness, it couldn't have needed replaced. Even if it was a harness that didn't fit right :thumbsdown:, they would have made he attempt. I don't understand the no attempt.
 

leighi123

Active member
My neighbor just asked me if Levi was in a booster yet AFTER I had told her he was only 24lbs but is nearly 3. He is very tiny!

She said I could have it so I can put him in it after his birthday. Um no thanks, he will be rearfacing still!

Apparantly they only used it 3months before her 6yr old got 'too big' for a booster. He is an average size kid, but super hyper (was in my mom's kindergarden class last year). Oh and he also had to be turned forward facing at 7months because his legs were WAY too long for him to ride like that. :thumbsdown:
 

ketchupqueen

CPST and ketchup snob
Staff member
I guess I just can't wrap my head around it .... I think I could get it if they thought their kids didn't need any seat at all any more (right or wrong), I guess I even get why people don't ERF because the seats are akward fitting RF in some cars ...... but FF harness vs. FF booster ... really, what difference does it make on their day? Why choose the least safe seat and at such young ages? It can't be just price, becuase the seats last a lot of years and there are convertible sets that are cheap. In my exampe above, I know she did't outgrow a harness, it couldn't have needed replaced. Even if it was a harness that didn't fit right :thumbsdown:, they would have made he attempt. I don't understand the no attempt.

Many people see moving to the next step in seats as a "rite of passage"-- like getting a first haircut, first day of school, etc. Parents are often anxious for their kids to be "big" and "independent." They really don't realize the difference in safety. And you can tell them but sometimes they still don't comprehend.
 

andre149

New member
I'm torn on this one... there are definitely some people that just don't know. They don't understand the drastic decrease in safety when turning a young child ff or putting one way too small in a booster. On the flip side of that though, there are those that CHOOSE not to read the information... that is what I consider ignorant. I had two families that I babysit for that I gave ERF info to because they both had infants. One of them turned their child at about 8mos because "the dr. said it was ok" and the other turned theirs at 1 year exactly... when they had the information right there. That to me is making the parental choice to make an un-informed decision... and is ignorance in my book. I feel bad for the people that truly just don't know... but those ones usually aren't the problem because they're usually receptive when someone tells them what is safer.
 

Kat_Momof3

New member
we were walking back to our car yesterday from Chesapeake Jubilee and I happened to do what I try never to do when we are doing that walk... I looked to my right... I happened to be then looking at a white sedan with a little boy fitted properly in his ff scenera (he was too big to be rf in it, the top slots were slightly above his shoulders as he had a big head and long neck)... but then... next to him (albeit, the chest clip was fine and the straps were tight and above the shoulders) was what couldn't have even been a 6mo old (had the car not been slowly moving to get to parking, I would have been able to distinguish if it were a newborn or not) forward facing in her girly scenera... and my stomach did that horrible sick flip... and I looked away... and refused to look to my right again... I just don't get it... obviously they read and know enough in the manual to properly use the straps, but how can they not keep their baby rearfacing to at least the minimum??

I was in traffic last week and saw some woman with FOUR teenagers in the back seat of her Jeep Cherokee... none with a seatbelt on... and of course, the rear seat only accomodates 3 people... I just don't get it.

No one was in the front passenger seat, either... I don't get how hard it is to make sure everyone has a seatbelt when you have enough to go around.

I don't get how much harder it is to install a rearfacing seat when it's not a large seat than a forward facing one.

I don't get how hard it is to insist your child use a booster until the seatbelt fits properly.

I guess I just don't get the bulk of people in the world.
 

InternationalMama

New member
even if you think "it won't happen" .. how much harder is it to put your child in a harness than a booster .. really?

Booster seats are significantly cheaper than harnessed seats, aren't they? Especially LBBs. I think there are so many factors that go into people not choosing the safest seats and situations for their children in the car. One factor is finances, another education, another an attitude that it won't happen to me, another is convenience or perceived convenience, another is pressure from family members. And sometimes quite frankly it's probably just that it's not cool in their circle of friends to follow the safest practice, either as perceived by the child or the parent. Peer pressure really impacts decision-making.

I can tell you before I came to this board I just never really thought about so many issues of car safety. I was in an accident once and at the time we were hit I was leaning forward to pick something up off the floor. As far as I can recall in my entire life no one ever talked to me about sitting correctly in a seat belt. I only learned about it here when people started mentioning the five step test. And I have faced a lot of resistance from pretty much everyone I've talked to when I try to discuss car safety, especially as it pertains to older passengers and not just babies. People don't want to be reminded that driving is very dangerous, that really takes the fun out of it.
 

skaterbabs

Well-known member
Honestly, most people think just having a seat gives them this magic bubble. They honestly think that it doesn't matter how it's used or if it's appropriate, it's very existence protects their kid, and shoot, it's not like they're going to ever be in a crash anyway. :thumbsdown:
 

a_js

New member
Honestly, most people think just having a seat gives them this magic bubble. They honestly think that it doesn't matter how it's used or if it's appropriate, it's very existence protects their kid, and shoot, it's not like they're going to ever be in a crash anyway. :thumbsdown:

Right. See, I have been told, the important thing is that they're IN a carseat. :rolleyes:

OK, sarcasm aside.. people are stupid about all kinds of things, carseats are just one example.
 

babyherder

Well-known member
Right. See, I have been told, the important thing is that they're IN a carseat. :rolleyes:

OK, sarcasm aside.. people are stupid about all kinds of things, carseats are just one example.


They forgot to mention that the important thing is the kid is still IN a car seat AFTER a crash.
 

obamamama

New member
On a positive note; my friend's daughter turned 5 and is in preschool. An average size girl, mom and dad just put her in a backless booster. They have a full size Ram (not sure if it's 4 door or 2) but it has a backseat. Shoulder belts in all 3 positions, but only headrests on two. They put her in the middle "safer than outboard" but she's in a backless. I saw dad one day and told him that she wasn't as safe in the middle with a backless, so they should move her to the side.
He swore up and down that she was safer in the middle and my dh told me to stop arguing, "his kid, his car". I walked away sad and angry that I just knew she wasn't safe enough.
Fast forward to the other day, maybe a month later, they all stopped by our house. Their daughter was in the outboard seat AND in a highback booster. I guess he thought about it and looked it up. YAY-- I feel so much better now. She's such a sweetheart, I'd be crushed if something had happened to her.

Just wanted to share.
Fast forward
 

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