Completely and totally unrelated to car seats

Alot of you are mentioning preschool in here. I dont know what everyone else income is, but for mine *im just going to go ahead and say it*
We have 4 people and make 23000 a year,(however we basically get free housing to a point) because we're military.
I applied this morning for the head start program for my three year old, who misses the cut off date for the 4 year old program by litterally 3 days. (grrr means he'll have to be in prek again next year if he even makes it in this year)
The program here, says for a family of 4, you have to make 20,000 or less, I still have a chance of my son getting into school, but, its not a definate.
So basically what Im asking is, the preschool you guys have your children in, is it headstart, if not, where are they going? Because I really have no idea where to get him into school. I dont want him going to daycare, because really they dont teach. I want him to go to school and learn this year. I mean I cant work anyway, because I have Konnor here too, so im not putting him in daycare/school to go to work, im putting him in there for the learning experience.
Thanks for your advice.
Amie

that really depends on where you live... every community has its own private preschools, which vary in price, type of curriculum, and number of hours per week. some also allow you to apply for financial aid.

Some preschools in our area have scholarship programs to help families with tuition; you might try calling a few programs to check (usually these might be church-affiliated, but there's no religious requirement to go there).

Not sure what month your son's birthday is. My oldest is late June, and we are holding him back a year -- so he will start Kindergarten next year when he is 6 years (and two months). He's in a good preschool program this year; they have a class just for the older "in-between" kids like him. He definitely did not have the ability this past year to sit still and focus for the amount of time that's needed in K. these days! My younger son has a November b-day, so he will be almost 6 when he starts K.

HTH!

I'm gonna come out and say it.

I've been a teacher for years. I'm not teaching this year, and won't next year, but probably will again after that. All of my friends are teachers. We all agree.

Kids who go to "preschool" are no more ahead than any other child.

In my second grade class, I would never be able who went to daycare, who went to "preschool", who had a nanny, who stayed home with mom, etc. I COULD tell you the kids who sat home and did nothing but watch TV, but that's about it. Even my friends who teach kindergarten can almost never differentiate between them. "Preschool" doesn't offer any true benefit academically, and has no benefit over day care for the long term. Your son will learn just as much at home with you as he will there.

Daycare is still a fine place for children who are 3 years old to learn many of the things they will need to know to be successful when they do go to school. Kids really learn a lot through play at that age, and learn a lot of social skills, how to interact with others in a group setting etc...these are the things they really need to know before they get to school. Not to say that it isn't great to get a headstart on learning numbers and letters etc...but a lot of those headstart programs are for families who are not teaching any of those things incidentally at home, and whose children are at risk of falling behind. There are so many opportunities to teach those skills that you don't really need to be worried, it is the social interaction, group coping skills etc.... that kids really need to learn at that age. At least in my very humble opinion . HTH

Splash, I had that experience with my own kids, too... my son didn't benefit at all from his year of pre-k, my daughter doesn't remember learning diddly (and this was a highly academic montessori school...they were adding numbers in the thousands at age 4 and 5, learning all the three dimensional shapes, etc...).

It *was* nice to have them out of the house, though (oh, I'm allowed to admit that, right? )...and if had been less than $300 a month, I would have really appreciated it.

They also had lots of fun, brought home lots of art, enjoyed their teachers...the usual things you hope for them in preschool...and just the same as they got in daycare when they were a little younger (playing with other kids, doing puzzles, etc).

At any rate, don't sweat it...if you can't get it free, and can't find a very low cost co-op preschool (is there a mother's club you can hook up with, they know all the good local resources)...co-ops demand you come in for some of the school days to keep costs low, but that's kind of nice, to, to see your kid in the classroom....or a YMCA program, or a church...there's lots of options out there

Splash said:

"Preschool" doesn't offer any true benefit academically, and has no benefit over day care for the long term. Your son will learn just as much at home with you as he will there.

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i agree about the academic part-- i don't expect my child at 3 years of age to have to go through an academic curriculum, but there certainly are valuable things to learn through unstructured (or structured) play...including social functions. that's why there are all different philosophies toward preschools...play-based versus academic. but i do agree that these can largely be accomplished at home, provided the parents make the effort to ensure their toddlers are getting exposed to other kids and plenty of play. but sometimes for SAHM's (or SAHD's) hwho have to take care of more than one child, enough attention can't be paid to the toddler who could otherwise do better in a preschool. this also allows the parent to focus more attention on the other sibling(s) while the toddler is in pre-k.

canadianmom2three said:

Daycare is still a fine place for children who are 3 years old to learn many of the things they will need to know to be successful when they do go to school. Kids really learn a lot through play at that age, and learn a lot of social skills, how to interact with others in a group setting etc...these are the things they really need to know before they get to school. Not to say that it isn't great to get a headstart on learning numbers and letters etc...but a lot of those headstart programs are for families who are not teaching any of those things incidentally at home, and whose children are at risk of falling behind. There are so many opportunities to teach those skills that you don't really need to be worried, it is the social interaction, group coping skills etc.... that kids really need to learn at that age. At least in my very humble opinion . HTH

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Thats one of the problems, mine WON'T learn it from me.
I try on a regular basis, (have even bought books and prek learning items from walmart) to get him interested, and I can't get him interested. He's never been to daycare, and to be honest, the only daycare program we could even remotely afford *since I'm not working* is to put him in the daycare on base, *which still, I would have to put both in daycare and go to work*. But I dont trust the daycare on the base because they do not watch the kids carefully enough. A friend of ours had her son going there, and he broke his Femer bone. Femer bone!!!! The hardest bone to break and a three year old manages to break it, and right before that had happened, I was driving by, I see a couple older ladies, (not in the best of shape either) and toddlers running around outside, at least 50ft away from the teachers, and no fence, at all. about 10 feet away from the road. (my feets may be wrong) but the toddler definately could out run the adults that were standing a good bit away from the road.
So the daycare is out!!!
But I cant get him to learn anything at all with me.

I do know what you mean there - my youngest DS did not have a lick of interest in anything remotely academic - I tried and tried to teach him to even colour or try to learn to print or recognise his name...nothing. He did go to a fairly decent daycare, but not an academic one by any means. His daycare teachers reported the same - literally the first time he chose to sit down and draw (without them prompting/making him) was a celebration - I still have the little scribble he made! He is doing great now that he is in pre-k - he has actually swung the other way and is almost obsessed with colouring, letters and numbers. He will literally sit for an hour and colour, and try and copy letters of cereal boxes etc. I don't know what has been responsible for the change, rather he has just grown up a bit, or sees the other kids doing it or what, but whatever it is, its great!! Really, don't worry about not being able to get your son intersted in learning those things - there are tons of ways he probably learns without you (or he) even realizing...

I'd wager that he is learning much more from you than you know! My kids all went through stages as preschoolers where they wouldn't sit for me to read to them. So, I read to them as they did other things. You know what? They later would make comments that let me know they WERE listening. I was blown away when this first happened. I recommend lots of trips to the library and reading lots of books, and kids magazines. Let him pick his own books, he may be more willing to have you read to him that way.

I would just causually mention, or point out things like colors, shapes, numbers and letters. My oldest was fanatical about reading the numbers and letters on license plates when ever we went somewhere.

Having a child help around the house, cleaning, cooking, laundry..., is wonderful learning experience! They learn not only how to do these things, but how to measure, sort, count and many other things. Real living is the best learning out there for preschoolers! They have a lot more fun than sitting at a desk with workbooks too! Personally, I despise workbooks. I have used them some, but only when my kids ask for them, at least at the early ages. I much more into learning through play and hands on activities.

Lots of work with paint, playdoh, modeling clay and the like will help develop the muscles needed for learning to write. I did not try to teach my kids to write until they started asking, between age 4-5. Shaving cream on the table is great for getting the table clean and for teaching beginnning writing skills. Just do simple things like draw a circle and ask if he can copy you.

Now, I have to admit, I'm a homeschooler and I never considered sending my kids to preschool. My middle dd did go to K and 1st at a charter school and excelled. My oldest went to 4th grade at the same school and also had no problems. They are all home with me this year because I didn't like the change in our family dynamics with full time school, and I missed them. I sure wish I could sent them all for half days and do the rest at home.

My daughter went to a pre-K daycare. It had the structured pre-K and then in the afternoon it ran as a basic daycare. She didn't learn anything there I couldn't have taught her at home academically, but she did learn a lot of stuff I couldn't teach her at home.

She learned how a classroom setting works, which set her up nicely for kindee this year. She learned to sit quietly, to raise her hand before speaking (something she always had a problem with), to take turns with things she never had to take turns before (books, answering questions, etc). She learned that it's okay to be away from Mommy, Daddy, Grandma, or Grandpa for awhile. She'd never had that (one of us is always around to take care of her and her brother) and I'm glad she got that adjustment out of the way before starting kindergarten. She was able to focus more on school than on missing us the first few weeks which really helped.

It would have been expensive (we're also a family of four on a less than satisfactory budget, but more than the government deems "at risk") had I not had the incredible luck of getting her in for a mere $25 a week (cost of food and supplies only) because my mother was also a preschool teacher at the same daycare. Thank goodness for Grandma!

There is a program through the public school that takes all 4/5 year olds and teaches them in a pre-K setting, sets them up for public kindee. They will take all children regardless of income. The demand was so high they took an old elementary school and turned it into a Pre-K only school. Perhaps you could call your local school district main office and ask if they have a public pre-K set up. He wouldn't be eligible this year, but he would next year. This is likely where my son will go when he's old enough because my mother now teaches high school, not preschool, so no more discount. The change did her a world of good, but not so much helpful for me anymore.

All that being said, pre-K really isn't necessary for most kids. It helps some, doesn't do a darn thing for others.

I really do think it depends on the child. My husband and I both work full time. I work because I have to, not because I choose to. It is expensive where we live and although we make good incomes, our expenses are high as well.

My oldest stayed with my MIL until she was 3. It was a huge help to us financially since my husband had just gotten into the Union and took a huge paycut. We would never have been able to afford day care 3-4 years ago, even for one child. My MIL was great with my daughter. She took my daughter into the city, took her to museums, the zoo, etc. My daughter did not sit and watch TV all day.

That said, I noticed a HUGE improvement when she started going to preschool. She was 3 at the time and was ahead of a lot of the kids in her class. Both of my girls were born in December, so they're 1/2 a year younger than their classmates. Kaylie moved up to pre-k in January because she was so bored in pre-school. She'll end up being in pre-k again next year since she can't start kindergarten until she's 5, so she'll actually be closer to 6 when she goes.

She is smart little girl and has done very well with the structure of school. That's not something I could give her at home (I just don't think I'm that disciplined of a person). Do I think her being in pre-school contributed to how well she's doing in pre-k? Absolutely. And I also think being in pre-k with help her when she goes to kindergarten.

If I had the opportunity to stay home and was the type of person who could be more structured with her academically, maybe that would be enough. I don't have anything to compare it to. Daycare/pre-k doesn't come cheap by any means. I personally pay $370 a week for both kids to go full time. For us, it's worth it.

[/QUOTE] Daycare/pre-k doesn't come cheap by any means. I personally pay $370 a week for both kids to go full time. For us, it's worth it.[/QUOTE]

That's for sure, I think it is insane the price of daycare. I do have a fairly decent job, but am trying to support our whole family of 5 on it while DH attempts to get his buisness up and profitable - but really there was one year, when all 3 of my kids were in daycare, I got my tax slips and saw that I had paid out more than $25,000 for their daycare fees...insane And daycare subsidy does not really offer much help, when I was pregnant with our first, and still in school, we applied to the daycare subsidy program. 3 years and $10,000 in debt later, when we moved out of the region, we were still not through the wait list, we were just lucky that we had lots of family help, or the debt would have been even bigger. Not to mention that you must rid yourself of every bit of savings you may have - including all the money you have been trying to put away for your kids future (and equally costly) education .

I too put my DD is preschool this year. She is in a 3 yr old program that goes 2 days a week. The main reason I put her in preschool was to get the social skills, she is a smart little girl and could write her name b4 school and nows all her colors and shapes and numbers, but she lacked in the social area, quite shy. I have noticed a big improvement as far as her being comfortable around others in strange places. I am a SAHM with 2 little girls I watch 4-5 days a week. The oldest is in kindergarden on mwf. While they have been great friends to my children, I wanted my DD to make her own friends, her own age. She is one of the oldest in her class because of her January birthday and the cut off is December 1 in our school. I chose our local Catholic pre-school, I did look into where P goes but they focus to much on religion, while I want my daughter to have a strong understanding of religion and our faith, I don't want it crammed down her throat. I didn't even consider out public system because they are failing misserably. If you are not comfortable with headstart, check with your other programs available, a lot of them do have tuition assistance available. My husband has been on unemployment for over a year and I don't bring much in babysitting, we ended up with 60% of our tuition paid for us.

My son is almost 4, can write his name and numbers 1-10, count to 25 consistently, learning the continents of the world (where they "fit" on the circles of the globe, as well as learning to write the names of the continents), knows his address, working on learning his phone number... Not all are from preschool, as he already knew his ABCs and 1-2-3s before starting. But he does learn to wait his turn to ask the teacher something, and raise his hand with questions, and do his "work" quietly by himself until he's done or needs help. He loves to paint, draw, color, and everything else to do with art. And music. And making up stories and songs. In English AND Spanish. I suppose I could be good at encouraging all of this in him at home, but I'm only me. In preschool he gets the benefit of multiple teachers, as well as interaction with other children, to broaden his outlook. He's still only almost 4. But he's turning out into a very well-rounded 4.

Does this mean that every child SHOULD go to preschool? I don't think so. I think it depends on the child, the parents, the support structure around (I wouldn't have a clue about Spanish, other than what I learn from Dora!!), etc. For my child, because we both work, and there's only one of him, we picked a Montessori school instead of a regular daycare. The daycare wasn't really teaching, the kids there were playing around all day, and the teachers just weren't that interested. Now, not all of them are alike, but this was our experience. So, he goes to preschool from 8 to 11, then is in childcare at the same Montessori school until 4:30 or 5, depending on when I can make it there. It takes about 30 minutes for him to finish what he's working on (usually art), say goodbye to his friends and teachers, get all his stuff together, and get in the car to go home. Heaven forbid I try to hurry him up.

I've checked around, The school we have here on base, would be awesome, because we're within walking distance and such. It'd be easier to let him go. *sigh* But I know he needs to go. He so hyper, with Konnor and him, he needs to do something. The school doesnt have a public prek program actually it technically doesnt have a prek program at all, but what they have for three year olds, is for staff only, and this is supposed to bea school geared towards military. I dont care for our area all that much, so I wont venture far.
I think at this point, if he doesnt get in, I'll just try and work with him. Maybe find a mommy and me group like someone suggested, (for both kids youngest will be a year in may) Next year Jordan will be able to attend prek if we're in florida (which im hoping we go.) and its free. He'd get to go to the school I went to for elementary too. I still know some of the teachers. geesh these ppl are old lol. But Im not really comfortable putting him in a church thing or anything here. Its really just not all that safe out here. I mean Im even leary about letting him do the headstart program, (theres only one school Id let him attend to) so if they dont put him there, then hes not going.
Theres just to much violence here. Its really bad, (Its basically new orleans where I live)

does anyone know how to go about finding a mommy and me group.?

I agree with Splash. Kids don't really benefit from going to pre-school, by the time they get to school, often there is no difference.

This is going to sound crazy but I am a Early Childhood Educator, and I will not send my child to Preschool. I feel that I can teach him the things that he needs to be taught. The only way I would consider sending him to preschool is if he had major seperation. I worked in a daycare running the kindergarten and school-age programs but did notice that often our daycare programs in the morning were just the same if not better then the preschool program that the same center offered! I didn't go back to work because it seem senseless to pay someone to raise my child so I could raise someone else's child

Kids learn from everything. My son knows what his name looks like, because I write it everywhere (his name is even on his wall), I spell it out for him and he knows the letters of his name if he hears them. If I say the letters in his name he knows it spells his name. We read books like chica chica boom boom that helps recognize letters, we count steps as we walk up them, we count out crackers before we eat them. I point out colours to him in books and ask him which colour is which (we have a book on colours) he even sorts out his thomas trains by colour. We play playdough and have different colours, we roll the playdough into snakes or pepperoni sticks and then use scissors to cut them up to put on pizza or what ever we are making. Scissors are great for getting that hand/eye coordination concept. We colour and he draws pictures, but it is more of a scribble but it is still part of the learning process. I do do ABC flashcards and sing the letters by there phonic sound (ie. apple, apple ah, ah, ah, bear, bear, b, b, b (sorry not good at spelling sounds of letters) and show pictures but often just sing that song). I think that you can teach your children valuable things in subtle and fun ways with them not even knowing you are teaching them. They don't need workbooks and what not just to learn, learning can come from anything.

I don't understand why, when most of us SAHM's are capable of teaching our children we would want to push them out of the house a year or two earlier then we have to?! Kids grow up so fast, just enjoy having them at home.

It's interesting to see what other people view as being important or required.

To the OP, even if your son isn't interested in books and stuff like that...just having them available is a huge deal.

Everything I've read about preschool and academic performance says that even if the children who attend preschool are ahead of their non-preschool peers in Kindergarten, that by the time they are in the third grade they aren't.

I have to say this, my oldest did not and WOULD not write his name before he started kindergarten. Whether or not it was because he has a long name, I don't know. I just couldn't get him to do it. And no, he didn't know all of his letters, and didn't know all the of the sounds that were associated with them. And no, he wasn't reading by the start of kindergarten.

Reading is not the easiest thing to master. Some children DO have it "click" before they are in school, some kids not until they are 8 or so. I think that's actually normal (though we like to freak out when a second grader isn't reading extremely well) Now, 6.5 year old? He's in the middle of the first grade and he's so excited to be reading chapter books. Which is even a huge leap from where he was at the start of first grade.

He could do math skills, ya know counting, identifying numbers, colors, shapes, etc. It seems to me teaching a number isn't as...hard as teaching a letter. You show a kiddo an "A" and go, this is a letter, it represents a sound...(in kid speak, of course)...and..well. It's a pretty advanced concept, I think! You show a kid a number..or even you count... numbers seem to come naturally, kwim? "1, rock 2, rocks... 1 push, 2 pushes..." sort of things.

I did not send him to preschool. Now, I don't know if he would have been writing his name a whole year earlier, but he is writing it now and eveything else he can think of. We would have qualified for the Early Start (it's Head Start) program here, but I didn't want to. You know why? It was all day long, just like our kindergarten is. I couldn't see sending my four year old off to school all day.

I have a niece who is (exactly) the same age as my oldest ds. She did go to Early Start. I don't know how it benefitted her, but I'm sure it must have.

The biggest thing with not sending my oldest son to preschool is that he was majorly peeved that his cousin went to school before him! lol

I think it's a good idea to make sure you child starts school ready to learn. There are children who come to kindergarten who have never scribbled with a crayon or had a book read to them. So, kindergarten teachers see a wide range of ability and progress, I'm sure.

This is going to sound stupid...but to the OP, have you talked to any of the other parents who live around you?

We havn't decided yet: I am a stay-at-home mom. We might enroll him in the baptist or methodist preschools or do the Abecca Home Preschool Program. Its too bad about the head start, we just do make too much.

That blows my mind that you're not eligible for headstart. We make close to 36k a year and my oldest could have gone to headstart. Honestly, I think preschool can make a difference depending on where you are. I am choosing to not send my child to public school because when I toured it earlier in the year I was told in kindergarten they work on learning letters, numbers, and writing their name for the majority of the year. Right now my 4.5 yo can recognize and write short words, can write his whole name and knows all the pertinent stuff like address and phone number. I don't think he's advanced in any way, I just don't want him spending a whole year on stuff he already knows. Of course the headstart here, where most kids go is basically a glorified daycare, all the do is let the kids play and teach them that its really not appropriate to cuss and hit.