getting DH on board with carseat safety (and fam/friends)

Mami_Kathy

New member
I've been trying to get DH to understand more about carseat safety like turning our 21 mos son RFcing and my 4 yrs and 4 mos daughter back to a harness, as well as getting newer carseats that suits our needs (which I already started a thread on).

I sent him a long email (also to some friends and family members), explaining him the basics and why do I feel like I do, with a link from someone website from this forum. This is the email I sent (I'll be omitting names and the link):
(I'll also be sending this to people with small kids)

***, I know you think I'm fanatic and passionate when it comes to safety issues, and yes I'm. But really I've to be, who else is going to vouch for my two precious angel and #3 on the way, I don't take this little things lightly and I never will, no matter how much people thing I'm weird, stupid, crazy or any other name, don't care if I'm not mainstream and people did things different and worked fine for them, I'll always err on the safe side and will do what work for my family. Am I overprotective? You bet I'm am, especially when it come to doing the best possible to protect a life and there's nothing to gain or learn by doing the opposite, know what I mean? I could not live with myself if something is to happen to my kids and I didn't do everything I could and knew to protect them.

This link I got is pretty good, she's a certified child passenger safety technician who I go for questions on safety, on her site she give very good explanations of the whys. I got links for more reputable sources like car-seat.org and with the NHTSA, but she got her thing on one page and very well summarize, plus she got other links for references. So please take the time to read it, it's very important for me and more important your kids.

I'll also send this to important people on my kids life so they can understand where I'm coming from and also because if one day I'm not there and they got my kids they'll know what I expect from them when it comes to our kids safety. The laws on child safety safety differ from state to state, there's maybe a handful of them with respectable laws, the rest just follow the bare minimum, therefore all you're avoiding is a ticket but will still be compromising your child safety. Safety organizations and advocates have been working on changing those laws, but everyone know how the lawmakers are. One example is and the most common one, the 1 yr and 20 lbs to put them forward facing is the bare minimum and the safety organizations are trying to make it to be 2 yrs and to be the bare minimum, and the preferred one to be until baby outgrows a rear facing convertible weight limit or height, the majority of them range from 33-35 lbs then they can go forward facing in a 5 pt. harness until they outgrows the seat, a seat will take you to 60-65 lbs. In Norway the law for rear facing is 4 yrs old, the death rate of infants in car accidents is almost null and other European countries the laws for rear facing range from 2- 4 yrs. No kid under 4 and weighting less than 40 lbs should be in a booster, and even when they meet the bare minimum they ain't mature enough to sit still and properly, especially when they still fall sleep. Kids must be in a booster until they're over 80 lbs and 4' 9'', a regular seat belt won't fit them properly (I've a video that shows what can a regular seat belt can do to their neck in case of an accident, but you guys can use logic and picture that) and putting the shoulder belt behind their back is dangerous and defeat the whole purpose. Kids under 12 should always ride on the back properly restraint. Now let me get off my high horse and hope you guys take the time to check the link below.

******

***:

I'm not expecting you to be as fanatic as I'm, I think as long as there one in the family is good, but if something is to happen to me I expect nothing less from you than to attain to the highest standards when it comes to our kids, no the bare minimum Devil Dog!! Knowledge and information is there, just seek for it, don't assume you know everything because that's what everyone else is doing, learn for yourself and for your kids. If you really care for our bundles of joy you'll take the few minutes necessary to read this. If you don't at least let me be the one that choose for safety reasons.

Bottom line, *** is going rear facing and *** back to a harness, I'm tire of shooing her a** because she keep moving the belts or moving too much trying to reach for her brother and falling sleep in such an awkward and unsafe position, and that belt almost to her neck is very nerve-wrecking. I've too much knowledge on the subject to be ignoring all of this and playing clueless, sorry I just can do it!

Te amo mucho!!

For the rest, love you all! Hope you take the time to read this.

I need opinions, do you think this can get through him? Anyone has deal with this issue before, any ideas on how to handle it? Do you think this would get through anyone? Is it worded properly? or is any of my info wrong in there?

Thanks in advance!
 
ADS

canadianmom2three

Active member
I really didn't find out about the benefits of hwh until our last "baby" was 4.5yo...at which point DH had pretty much thought we were done with the whole car seat thing, and on to boosters. Well, DS just didn't sit well in his booster, and it was actually him unlocking the van door and sliding it open while I drove up an overpass that was the final straw, and got me looking for a new harnessed seat for him - which led me to this board, and all the great info and people here. DH at first thought I was a bit crazy, and said Ds is just fine in a booster etc...What I did, was I found a bunch of the youtube videos to show him, esp. the one belle's wish or something like that (he didn't see the logic in the kyle miller one, was quick to point out that seatbelt failure would cause the same problem rather our DS was in a booster, or in his seatbelt secured hwh) but some of the others got to him, as did the crash test videos of booster vs harness (and really I think the videos of rf vs ff are even more dramatic, and should have some effect on your family) I also pointed out to DH, that the cost of buying and using the appropriate hwh for our DS, even though at max he will get 2 years use out of it, only ammounted to $8.44/month, or at 3cents, far less than DH's daily cup of coffee. Shortly after that, he came home with a big wad of Canadian Tire $$ (store coupons basically, but they amounted to $45) and said they were to use toward the new seat for DS. He has also become much more aware, I think I am starting to rub off on him - he pointed out to a neighbour of ours that it is unsafe to use a sheild booster - YAY:D and when I came home with a new booster for DD (who is 7 and had an ok booster already, just wanted something safer) he had no problems. So there is hope for you yet (keep in mind my DH is pretty clueless and unsafe guy - he is the one who just got a big$$ ticket for riding unbuckled among many other things, but when it comes to the kids, he is a big softee) HTH and best of luck :)
 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
Bravissima!

* APPLAUSE *​

I am personally quite tired of hearing mamas defer to the husband over this issue ... to the detriment of their child/ren :(

CPSafety is a pretty cut-n-dry issue compared to discipline, etc. -- either the carseat fits the vehicle or it doesn't, either the carseat fits the child or it doesn't, either you're following the directions or your're not :rolleyes:

Parents, when it comes to the very life of your child (not to mention brain damage or paralysis) then when you can MAKE a way to afford the safer seat, it's your duty to exercise those parental powers & do so regardless of what any other person says: including the other parent.

If the other parent refuses to use a particular carseat in his/her vehicle then you have the power to also limit the child's rides in that vehicle & if there has been any gross misuse or illegal nonuse then I venture to say you could even take this issue to family court if you are so inclined. At the very least you have the power to do what is safest while you are the one buckling kiddo in (if that means you go out of your way to buckle kiddo in because the other adult is uncooperative, then so bit it.)

Our kids worth it!


{there are a few grammatical typos, but nothing major}
 

Duckieheart

New member
Re: Bravissima!

I did the same thing, with the YouTube videos. Only- I only showed him one. It was the one with the little girl that her aunt had made. Anyway- it had crash test videos in it, and he was just as shocked as I was by the difference between a RF seat in a wreck and a FF one. He said he didnt want to see anymore- and he wasn't going to bother me at all about car seats- I could do what I wanted. Even when I told him we'd be buying a new convertible for DD (a marathon, eventually). Hehe- then I started quizzing him. Id find pictures in magazines or examples in real life of mis-use- and make him point out the errors to me. :) Then I explain what could potentially happen if you used teh seat that way (bulky jackets, the chest clip down by the belly button- we saw a child in a carrier who was an entire headlength above the shell) So- even though hes not fanatical- I know he knows whats safe. I didnt quite convince him to buy a SS1 when we already have a brand new carrier- but I didnt convince myself either- so there ya go... lol
My family on the other hand- think Im insane. But- they are 7 hours away and know they don't get to have DD alone if they dont follow the rules (CD, foods, etc..)- so we havent had issues yet. Although- that *may* be because shes not born.
Good Job and I hope it works!
 

Mami_Kathy

New member
Re: Bravissima!

Well, I hope it does the trick since he's the one that make the money which I need to buy the carseats, otherwise I guess I'll have to sell some of my stuff to get money and get them myself! He hasn't read the email yet and he ain't home, so I'll let you guys know later.

Papooses, guess where I got the link from? your site! Very nice by the way.
 

Minniemouse

Senior Community Member
My dh routinely will just turn to me and say...thank you so much for knowing about this stuff because I definitely had no idea :) .

I then ask him if knowing it is worth him having to drag me away from the car seat aisles at stores where I'm helping other parents ;) ...and he thinks about it for a second...and answers yes!

:D
 

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