Easier to convince strangers to Extend Rear Face versus Family & Friends

Frustrating to me: Why does it seem easier to convince strangers to keep their child RF than it does family and friends? Or is it just me? All my cousins and close friends FF their child after 12 months. Regardless of what I say and how much I put on my FB page--videos and links with stats stating rear facing is better. I'm totally confused. I'm just not sure what makes someone ignore safety results that potentially could involve his/her child. Is it something I'm missing? Even my mother dislikes that I RF DD1. Any advice?

Maybe I'm not effectively advocating. I'm now studying the importance of rear facing facts just so that I can be "ready" for a conversation concerning the subject with someone who is critical of it.

I guess I can plant the seed of its importance but I can't make it grow--they'll have to do that.

I was just like them at one point--eagerly waiting to turn my child around at 12 months--in fact I counted down the days. Then I came upon this forum and quickly learned the importance of RFing--I watched the videos and read the facts--it turned my excitement of FFing into dreading the day it has to happen.

I've researched Virginia law and it's a skeleton at best: it just mentions that children have to be restrained until their 8th birthday. In addition, it states that rear facing child restraints must be placed in the back seat (unless a vehicle has no back seat and the passenger seat has no side air bag or it has been deactivated). There is a $50 civil penalty fine imposed for failure to transport a child in a child restraint. I DO like this: the fines collected go into a special fund to purchase safety seats for low-income families.

Code of Virginia Article 13--Section 46.2.

There is no mention about merchants selling used, expired car seats or their liability to conform to a specific law.

Just yesterday I saw a Britax Advocate at a thrift store and told the employee who just stocked it that the car seat expired in 2008. I told her that I would hate for someone to purchase it and something happen to his/her child and they get sued for a million dollars in their hopes for a $10 sale. She informed me that she would tell the owner--she did take it off the floor. I also told her that most car seats state their expiration date on the back of the car seat. SHe told me that she, personally, would never buy a used, car seat (isn't that ironic)

But as I see it, the second-hand stores can sell these seats that are expired.

Here is an article posted on Virginia DMV page that would be confusing to parents as well --it's inconsistent with what we are advocating:

http://www.dmvnow.com/webdoc/general/news/news.asp?id=5301

DMV News Releases
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Media Contact: Melanie Stokes
Department of Motor Vehicles
(804) 367-6623



Child Safety Seats Save Lives
Parents Encouraged to Check for Proper Installation


RICHMOND - The Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) is encouraging parents of young children to have their child's safety seat inspected as part of National Child Passenger Safety Week, September 21 through 27. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, seven out of every 10 child safety seats are either the wrong size for the child or seriously misused, reducing their effectiveness in a crash.

. . .

Virginia law requires children from birth to 12 months to ride in a child safety seat facing the rear. Children ages 1 through 3 should ride in a safety seat facing forward. (emphasis added) Children 4 to 8 years old weighing more than 40 pounds should be restrained in a belt-positioning booster seat. (emphasis added)

The term should versus can can be interpreted very differently and it defeats all efforts to effectively advocate extended rear facing. In addition is goes against efforts to convince others that five-point harness seats at the ages of 4 and 5 are good options--that boosters are not the only option.

You know, what is funny, is that I have started on my aquaintances, like my sister's friends who are asking for advice, and in turn, my sis and mom ask me, by giving them the links. There is one that decided, since she works in the insurance industry, reading the data, etc, that her baby is just fine forward facing at 1 and 20. My sis never read the info I gave. Yes, her friend's dd is safe, at 1 and 20, but could be safER, which is what I am trying to get my sister to understand.

Yet, her other friend, who asked for advice, I also gave all the info. And I recently re-emailed her because I was going through my old, old sent mail, and saw that it was over a year ago, and so many things have come up, as the new 40 pound rf limits:thumbsup: So, we emailed back and forth for a bit, and she had gotten a roundabout 50 for one car (baby is less than a year, but still fits in the ss1 I recommended, and she is using that for the other car for now. But, she said she will continue to rear face until at least 2, because all she had to do was see the crash test videos once, and realized it made sense:thumbsup: I told her I think I loved her And I never mentioned that my sis, her friend, didn't quite get it yet.

Maybe it's because to strangers, you can be seen as an authority on the subject. Upon their first contact with you, you are established as "in the know". To your friends and family, you're still just their sister, daughter, friend, whatever.

Jennifer

Lol! Same here--I have my friends ask me questions about car seats for their friends but my own friends don't
take my advice Weird . . . but at least it's consistent.

Jess

True--I never thought about that I would think that they would trust me but . . . . Now that I think about it, my mom always told me that she could tell me something a 1000 times but if a stranger told me something once I got it--maybe it's the same thing

I completely understand.
I have convinced a friend of mine to keep her daughter rear facing until she is at least 2 - she is actually turning into a big advocate of ERF....my sister on the other hand is a different story - she turns all of her kids at 1. When she first found out the Vanny was still rear facing she, in a snotty tone, asked "Why?" - I told her all the facts and she said, "well I turn all of my kids at 1" I think she is under the impression that since they live in a rural area that they are at a lesser risk I do have to say that I am proud that her 9 year old is still in a booster and her almost 5 year old is still harnessed in a Nautilus :thumbsup:

jess71903 said:

Maybe it's because to strangers, you can be seen as an authority on the subject. Upon their first contact with you, you are established as "in the know". To your friends and family, you're still just their sister, daughter, friend, whatever.

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This is how I feel about it.

To people I am just meeting, they see me as someone with likely more knowledge than they have... To my sil I married her brother so how smart could I really be...

I have 100% the same experiences. My friends all know I'm a tech, they do come to me with questions, but they simply do NOT listen to me most of the time when I talk to them. None of them, seriously, NONE rf past 15 mos or so, even though they have great seats that will. I do have one friend that has talked like she is going to until her new one is 2 so that is HUGE! But, truly, she is the only one. It really makes me sad. But, all I can do is provide the info.

But, strangers on message boards and strangers at seat checks listen to me. OK, they don't always choose to erf but they really do listen more than friends.

Ditto what the pp said about being their friend/family/ect. Also realize that a lot of people act interested, act as if they will do the right thing and then you find out later that they didn't. My friends cousin asked me about car seats once and I told her all about ERF. She went out and flipped her seat back around for her dd. A month later I saw her at the store and her dd was ff again.

trippsmom said:

To my sil I married her brother so how smart could I really be...

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If I wasn't so tired from getting up very early this morning, I'd be rolling on the floor with laughter--you are hilarious

All my friends at work ask my opinion and some ask for help with their seats. Some choose to turn their children earlier than we all know is best but at least they ask.

My parents and ILs don't mention the ERF because they know how DH and I feel but his grandmother comments every time she sees DS. "That poor baby can't see anything." " It is so dangerous to have him backward, he might choke, and you can't see him." "His legs have to be so cramped." etc. I just smile and tell her this is the safest way for DS to ride right now.

I have had the best luck with family members BEFORE they have children - I talk to my sister and cousin before they had a baby, so they don't KNOW what's 'normal'. Then when they do have kids, what I do is normal.

Also, Trippsmom - you are a hoot! (And I KNOW my SIL thinks the same thing!)