how to approach good friend about seat usage

swtgi1982

New member
this is the picture i found in a link to their spring break pics that the mother sent me.
http://www.car-seat.org/album.php?albumid=114&pictureid=975

the two girls in the front are four (end of Jan turned 4) and 6yrs old

the boys in the back are 7 and 9yrs old

the seat the 4yr old is in is way expired graco century and the 6yr old in the NB turbo with improper shoulder belt usage and I know at least the 7yr old is in a NB turbo as well and i believe the oldest is in nothing but seat belt.

I know the tiny 9yr old really needs a booster, but not happening

also i know that when the second child turns 8 in the summer his little 4yr old sister is getting his NB turbo
 
ADS

Mom2FiveGirls

Active member
I'd probably say something like "Did you know car seats expire? I had no idea until recently!" then maybe go on to say "I was looking through the pictures your mom sent me and it looks like the seat _______ is in may be expired." then go on to explain how to find the DOM, etc. If she's receptive to that you could go on to talk about proper booster use, etc. I've had friends who think I'm nuts and just plain don't care and friends who were VERY receptive (a friend of mine recently turned her not quite 2 year old son back RFing after seeing a picture of DD#5 RFing and asking me why in the world I hadn't turned her FFing yet (which was a WONDERFUL start of the conversation!)).
 

UlrikeDG

Admin - CPS Technician Emeritus
If you do not have permission to post pictures of your friend's kids here, you need to remove the photo. Thanks!
 

msg221

Well-known member
I recently was faced with the same experience only it wasn't a good friend. She is more of an acquaintance who I also know through her professional work and who I communicate with on FB. She posted a photo of her beautiful newborn baby girl in her infant seat and I noticed that the chest clip was very, very low (basically over her tummy) due to the fact there were aftermarket strap covers on the straps and because she is still so tiny, the strap covers basically covered her entire body so there was no room to move the clip up where it should be. I was trying to sound as nice as possible, not criticizing, and basically saying something like "you may not be aware but . . ." and ending the message by saying I hope I didn't offend her and my intention wasn't to be critical, but more out of concern for her daughter's safety. I was worried when I didn't hear back from her, but finally did this weekend and she thanked me and was very grateful and said she didn't know that the clip needed to be at armpit level. I also mentioned removing the strap covers. I am happy that it turned out positively because it was harder to bring up the subject with someone I don't know as well.
 

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
If she is truly a good friend, you should be able to speak frankly with her.

How would she feel about you posting her kids' pictures for criticism?
 

UlrikeDG

Admin - CPS Technician Emeritus
i do have permission to post her kids photos have asked a million times before and she does not care.

Thanks for clarifying. If you would mention this whenever you post a photo, that would be helpful. :thumbsup:
 

CommMom

Senior Community Member
I think a lot of it depends on your relationship with the person and how well you know their personality...

That said, I usually will say/write something like, "Hey, sorry to get all carseat geeky on ya, but I noticed..." and proceed with the biggest misuse(s), reasons why it's dangerous/bad/unadvised/whatever, benefits of correcting (for example, kiddo will be safer and SO much more comfortable with a booster to help position the seatbelt correctly, etc.) and suggestions for correcting. I offer to help (if we're talking about someone I'm close enough to actually assist) if I think I can. If I'm using email, I always end with some questions so that it's clear I'm trying to engage in a dialogue, not just lecturing. ("Would you like help in finding some new seats that would be better for your kiddos needs?" etc.)
 

swtgi1982

New member
I guess it is up to me, since I talked to the cop friend of ours today and his basic answer was, better an expired misused seat then no seat at all.
 

swtgi1982

New member
Re: update: how to approach good friend about seat usage

The link doesn't work for me

yea i had to take it down sorry, but pic was of 4yr old in a like 8 or 9 yr old graco century seat with a way loose harness, and belly clip with her 6yr old sister next to her in a NB turbo with a should belt either behind her or under her arm

Update:

Ok so, I talked to the mother, she will not get a HBB for her 6yr old or harness her4yr old any longer then the next month in her expired and recalled seat she currently has. When her 7yr old son turns 8 next month his 4yr old sister is getting his NB turbo, "since he no longer needs it" legally, but practically yes he does as does he 9yr old brother


both the 4yr old and 6yr old ride with shoulder belt behind them, since "it does not fit right, it hits their neck!"

She had 37lb 4yr old in sisters NB at preschool pick up this morning since sister was still in school.

quotes are mothers words not mine!
 
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